[jessmegstewart]

Hi all I'm a some what new step mom, officially since August 2017. I have been in his sons life for just over 3 years. Picking up cooking cuddling encourage and everything in between. I love this boy to the moon. My husband and I have been talking about bringing up doing week on week off with his mother. We currently do alternating weekends and a night during the week. Obviously we want to spend more time with him but our work schedules are difficult to make it work. We have been trying figure out the best possibility to make it all work before we go to his mother with our thoughts and ideas.

So here are our issues and I would love some feed back or suggestions, maybe we are missing something. My husband has to be at work from 6am - 2:30pm and I work from 8am-5pm. His mother works mostly nights at a resutrant/bar. He currently goes to a school that is associated with her home. which is about a 20 minute right away from our house. Neither here nor there. We don't really disagree on where he needs to go. It would be more convenient for him to go to our district has she has her mornings and afternoons free to pick him up but we are just fine with what it is currently. Our issue is if we want to do the week on week off, picking him up from school is our issue. His school is from 7:50am - 2:19pm, so my husband is unable to pick him up from school on time. We thought about asking his aunt and grandmother but recent illness diagnosis have made that now impossible. I tried looking up children taxi's and after school care but after school care isn't necessary as we would only need 30 minutes after school.

Do any mothers have any suggestions or thoughts on what we could do?

 

[easydoesit]

I would pay for the after school care. Is that available at the school?

 

[mumto1]

I agree, after school care. You never know what's going to come up after work, plus it gives you a little wiggle room for running errands (prescriptions, groceries, personal stuff). How was your husband looking after his son, before, if his job never allows him to spend time with him?

 

[jessmegstewart]

He was never given any chances from his sons mother to have his son other than weekends and a day during the week. Things were not very good between them before I entered the picture. (He was also working nights when his son was first born, he is 7 now) She would hold anything against him and use seeing their son as a weapon against him. It is a very complicated relationship, beginning with the fact that is wasn't much of a relationship and he was unsure if he was the father to begin with. That is all settled and he tries to be with his son when allowed. I have been encouraging him to stand up for himself and see his son when he wants too and not based on if she allows him or not. has he has 50/50 custody. To avoid conflict he let her do what she wanted and she dictated everything. So now that we are all a bit more older and mature for the most part we are trying our best for it to actually be 50/50. Right now we are trying to figure out the best option as we don't make the most money but want to be able to spend more time with him and I think it is healthy to have even time with each parent if both are capable.

 

[jessmegstewart]

I would pay for the after school care. Is that available at the school?

I believe after school care is put on by a local YMCA. Which they are bused to.

 

[mumto1]

Too bad it's not in the school, will he get something out of the time there? If it's a good program, he might even enjoy it. Because I was a SAHM for a while, me and other parents/caregivers would get together after school to let the kids play and blow off steam. Is there a parent who could pick him up (locally) who looks after other kids?

 

[zebra15]

There is more to 'child care' than just 30 mins after school. There are non-school days, vacation weeks, summer break etc. What do you plan to do for those times? Finding a child care center that is contracted with the school, that provides transportation AND care during non-school times is the most logical solution while keeping the child at his current location. You also need to be prepared for sick days (which will cause you to miss work), possible weather related days off work and other unknowns. While you can't have a plan for every possibility its best to have a plan that covers many of these things.

Also any change to a custody agreement may need to be made in court and could change child support.