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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello!<br><br>
We've been sleep sharing with our "high needs" DD from day one. I was wondering if anyone out there sleeps with the baby for half the night? My DD goes to bed with us now about 11:00 and will finally nurse to sleep and lay down near me. If I "get up" though, she starts fussing and reaching out for me, even if I leave to go "pee" when she is "sound asleep...". I'm wondering about experimenting with having her sleep in her crib "earlier" in the evening and then "getting" her if and when she wakes up at night to sleep. I'm getting concerned<br><br>
1. that she's waking up fussing as babies do and I'm feeding her when she doesn't really need to...<br><br>
2. that I'd like to go to sleep earlier sometimes or later than she's "ready"<br><br>
3. re-thinking how long I'd like to share sleep with her since I'm in one position most of the night...etc.<br><br>
She'll sleep in the basinet (and I'm encouraging the crib now during the day too as she is outgrowing her basinet...) during the day for naps, but won't leep "by herself" at night. Didn't think I'd co-sleep and I do enjoy it, but for how long....????? is the question.<br><br>
Does anyone share my concerns???
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Abylite</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">1. that she's waking up fussing as babies do and I'm feeding her when she doesn't really need to...<br><br>
2. that I'd like to go to sleep earlier sometimes or later than she's "ready"<br><br>
3. re-thinking how long I'd like to share sleep with her since I'm in one position most of the night...etc.</div>
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I see your DD is only about 3 months old? I can tell you some of my experiences, but 3 months is still pretty young, and she will most likely still need to cosleep most of the night for several more months. Maybe MANY more months if she is high-needs.<br><br>
DS is high-needs as well and he coslept exclusively (most naps, too) until he was about 9 months old. Then, I started nursing him to sleep on a twin mattress in his room. He would sleep for only one hour without me at first. But I was glad to get that hour at night. Then, after a month or two, he started going for 2 hours, maybe 3, without me. Now, at almost 14 months, he sleeps in his room from about 8-12, then comes into bed with us, where he wakes every 2-3 hours to nurse quickly back to sleep. He's NEVER slept more than a 5 hour stretch and that was like 3 times...<br><br>
But in answer to your #1: I'm not sure what you mean by she doesn't "need" to nurse. Even if she isn't nursing for hunger she's nursing for comfort, and for a 3 month old that's a valid need. Of course, if you wanted to get out of bed and try rocking her or walking her, it might work.<br><br>
#2: You could lie her in her bassinette if she's asleep before you. If you want to sleep and she's not ready, well, that's a harder one!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
#3: If you're thinking that co-sleeping might not be for you, it is a good option to try partial-cosleeping. But with a 3 month old I'd keep her in the same room with you at least.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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How long? As long as it works for the both of you...<br><br>
I co-slept with my dd full-time until about 6 months. At that time, she started moving around too much for me and DH to get any sleep. We also have a queen bed and my husband is 6'5, so we weren't comfortable at all. I slowly started transitioning her to a crib (in our room).<br><br>
Now, at nearly 20 mos, she's in her room in her crib in her own room 90% of the night, but I still like to bring her back with me to satisfy my warm, sleeping baby craving. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> This works well for us now.<br><br>
If I get a king-size bed in the future, I'm sure we'll be able to co-sleep full-time a lot longer, but our situation this time around didn't work for very long.<br><br>
Go with your instinct. If you want to try moving her into her own bed for part of the night, do it. If it doesn't work, bring her back and try again another time.
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Abylite</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">1. that she's waking up fussing as babies do and I'm feeding her when she doesn't really need to...<br><br>
2. that I'd like to go to sleep earlier sometimes or later than she's "ready"<br><br>
3. re-thinking how long I'd like to share sleep with her since I'm in one position most of the night...etc.<br><br>
She'll sleep in the basinet (and I'm encouraging the crib now during the day too as she is outgrowing her basinet...) during the day for naps, but won't leep "by herself" at night. Didn't think I'd co-sleep and I do enjoy it, but for how long....????? is the question.<br><br>
Does anyone share my concerns???</div>
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1. Why are you worried that you're feeding her when she "doesn't really need to"? If she doesn't need to nurse, she won't.<br><br>
2. That will come in time when she gets older.<br><br>
3. Find ways to change positions. I have my dd on a little blanket that I can easily slide over when I want to turn over.<br><br>
I personally believe that human babies, like other mammals, are DESIGNED to sleep with their mothers. It is artificial and illogical for them to sleep alone.<br><br>
-Angela
 

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Our ds slept in a bassinet next to our bed until he was 4 months old. Now, I put my ds to sleep in his crib in our room at about 8:30pm and he sleeps there until he next wakes. Last night it was about 12:30am. Then I bring him to bed with me to nurse and depending on his mood either bedshare with him (2 nights ago, he slept from 2-6 am with me), return him to his crib or put him in his swing. We do what works and I recommend that to you as well. Yes, I question whether I'm just affirming his night waking, I figure I'll work on that when he has a more cognitive understanding of why one would want to sleep all night.<br><br>
mskgandn
 

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I think it's okay to experiment with different sleeping arrangements to find what works best with your family. My dd starts the night out in her crib and then at some point in the night (whenever she wakes up, pretty much), I bring her to bed with us. I think the key is being flexible.<br><br>
As far as nursing at night, I nurse dd whenever she wants.<br><br>
When my dd was three months, the crib was too big for her and she hated it. I don't think I'd rush it with the crib at this point.
 

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We slept with dd in a cradle next to our bed for like 4 months and then transitioned to her crib. When she wakes at night I rock her and depending on her level of fussiness bring her to bed with us. I used to bring her to bed with us almost every night when she would wake, but it's not very often now. I find she doesn't sleep as well with us sometimes because she likes to completely sprawl out <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
As far as nursing, I understand what you're saying. DD is 9 mos now and I'll try to comfort her in other ways at night, but will let her nurse if rocking alone doesn't work. She's now down to nursing 1-2 times during the night.<br><br>
I'm sure you'll find something that works for you, mommy's generally know best <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks for your replies.<br><br>
I know I shouldn't worry as much as I do. She won't sleep at night without me yet....so I won't rush it. I don't feel like putting energy into any other arrangement right now. But it's good to know that others have tried different things at different times. And it's working good right now...just a few weeks ago I had to sling her, bounce her on the ball, ssshhh her, etc. for an hour before she would sleep. Now she (most nights) falls asleep with me while nursing and I pat her for her cue to sleep. As far as nursing, well....I'l just let her decide when she is hungry or not. THe bassinet is getting "cozy..." but she does still have room in it to nap. Thanks!!!
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Abylite</strong></div>
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was wondering if anyone out there sleeps with the baby for half the night?</div>
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Thiw is how we do it. All kids start in their own beds - and whoever has a "night need" that night gets put in bed with us. Works great!
 

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We co-sleep about half the night also. Ds was in cosleeper next to our bed until about 6months, then outgrew that but didn't have a crib yet, so slept with us. About 9 months old, he started napping and spending first part of thenight in his crib, which is in another room. Like most of the pp, he sleeps in there until anywhere from 12:00 to 2:00 am, then when he wakes I bring him in our bed, and he spends the rest of the night there. Sometimes, especially lately with molars emerging, he wakes every two or three hours from there, but he definately sleeps longer stretches when in our bed. Like pp though, 5 hours is max, and that's only been a couple of times... I find that if I wake around 1:00 and he is still in his room, I get anxious and want to check in on him. Sometimes I wonder if I keep him in our bed more for him, or more for myself, but we will keep this routine as long as it continues to work for everyone.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>alegna</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I personally believe that human babies, like other mammals, are DESIGNED to sleep with their mothers. It is artificial and illogical for them to sleep alone.</div>
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Me too. My first slept in our bed with us (or in the co-sleeper) until he was about 18 months. Some time around that point we began putting him to sleep in his own room (because he goes to sleep before us anyway) and bringing him into bed with us once he wakes up to nurse and he stays for the rest of the night. From the time we go to bed until he climbs in with us is probably 2 hours, but it's 2 hours for me to sleep in any position I want which makes me so much more agreeable in the morning.<br><br>
With my second we plan to do the same thing, except we have 4 in the bed for half of the night now. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> It's just the three of us for the first part of the night, but Nik still climbs in bed to nurse at some point. Anyway....I put Nate (the baby) in the co-sleeper after I nurse him when we go to bed. That way he's still right there, inches from me, but I can pull the covers up and sleep in any position I want for a couple of hours. Then he wakes up to nurse and spends the rest of the night snuggled with momma. Nik on one side and Nate on the other. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat"><br><br>
ETA~Our babies share a birthday! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat">
 

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We co-sleep part-time like that. My dd is 9 1/2months now and has been part-time co-sleeping since she was about 4 months. We co-slept all the time everyday from birth but realized about 4 months that none of us were sleeping well. She was waking every 45 minutes to nurse and kicking daddy's back all night and everytime he rolled over, she would wake up. If I got up to pee she was awake and would stay awake for hours. It was just not working. We started rocking and nursing to sleep and then putting her into her crib(yes, I know. it's shocking. we have a crib! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> ) when she was completely asleep. She sometimes only slept for an hour and a half before waking and coming into bed with us. But now at 9 1/2months old she sleeps most nights until midnight(she goes down at 8) in her crib before wakign to come into bed with us. We either get time alone together that is desperately needed right now or we get a good 3-4hour stretch of sleep uninterrupted before Sara comes into bed and makes sleeping an aerobic event. We loved co-sleeping and snuggling up together at night but we realized by 4 months that we really needed sleep. None of us, including Sara, were waking refreshed in the morning. Now we get the best of both worlds. We get the sleep we all need and we get to snuggle and wake up with those baby smiles(and usually a few smacks to the face!).<br>
My older dd co-slept from birth to 3 1/2 without any problems and we loved it. She started transitioning slowly to her own bed and by 4 1/2, we weren't getting any nightly visits anymore. She stopped on her own and started sleeping mostly through the night. If she does wake enough to acutally realize she's awake, she puts on her cd player and listens to music or a storyteller cd and she's out again in 5 minutes. I hear her cd player go on and that's the only way I know she's up. Of course if she has a nightmare she does come in and snuggle for a few minutes but she wants her own space(she's 5 now) and she's back in her bed in less than a half hour. My younger dd isn't like that at all. She isn't content to snuggle and be still. She's all over the place and even in her crib, she rolls everywhere and I usually find her facing the opposite direction when I check in on her. Like her feet are where her head should be. So we definitely can't sleep well with THAT going on!<br><br>
Meg
 
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