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I could use some help finding a co-sleeping compromise where I don't force my<br>
daughter to sleep independently before she's ready, but that also makes my<br>
husband feel that his needs are being considered.<br><br>
For some background, I did AP with my first daughter, who was really high needs. When my second daughter came along, I did AP with her too, but admittedly I pushed her to be more independent sooner because I was so worn out & had no help. Then my husband & I separated & I went back to work, so at 8 months old I trained my daughter to go to sleep on her own so that I could manage as a single working mom with 2 small children. She took to it really well & we didn't have any issues with her sleep until about 2 years ago, when she was 3. In the meantime, I remarried and my husband is great, but his kids are older and he never did AP with them.<br><br>
When my daughter was 3, she started to wake up during the night wanting me, then started refusing to go to bed saying she was scared. We tried all kinds of things...music, leaving lights on, melatonin (suggested by her<br>
pediatrician)...but every night there were screaming tantrums for up to 2 hours, usually in the middle of the night. I would've just put her in the room with me from the start of this but my husband didn't want that. Finally, we were all so miserable that we agreed that she could come in our room during the night if she would go to sleep in her own bed. So for 2 years now, that's what we've done. And she's come in religiously almost every night, even after we put my girls in the same room together & they sleep in the same twin bed (even though they have bunk beds lol). After a while, my older daughter started coming in too, when she would wake up & realize her sister was gone.<br><br>
I've tried to encourage them to stay in their own room but honestly I don't mind them coming in at all. In fact, I'd put them in bed with us if we had enough room (and I do when my husband isn't home). But my husband feels he has no space for himself in our house, that his room should be his space & not overtaken by children. And he thinks the kids have their own beds & they should learn to sleep there. He just doesn't understand AP. However, he's willing to find some compromise (he has for the last 2 years, since he didn't want her in our room in the first place) because he respects that this is important to me.<br><br>
So that's my dilemma. I'm open to your suggestions/advice...<br><br>
Thanks!
 

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When my DH gets kicked out of bed he sleeps in DSs bed.......<br>
we're all about getting sleep - however it happens!
 

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What about taking down the girls' bunk beds, and putting a larger bed in there? The girls could go to sleep on their own in there as they have been doing, you and hubby could have some adult time in the "adult room", and then you could join the girls in their room when they need you to?<br><br>
That would make an easy transition -- mom will always be there in the night when she's needed, but your husband could also have his space -- no kids in "his" bedroom. One day, when your dd is truly ready, she will be used to sleeping all night in her own room in her own bed, too, and it wouldn't be another transition.<br><br>
If there are nights when dh isn't home, you could always still have special "mommy and girls" time in your room.
 
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