Mothering Forum banner

1 - 15 of 15 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,232 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So I watch baby shows as backgroung noise throughout the day sometimes. One thing I've noticed is that what people are calling colic, with absolutly no solution to the crying, they later find out has a source. Like this one mom who's baby had terrible "colic" they at six months relized that they were just not putting baby to sleep soon enough and he was getting over tired. Or other moms say "grandma keeps telling me to give her boob, give her boob, but I don't want to be a pacifier" well there's your solution, you just don't want to do it. Another mom points out that in cultures where colic is unheard of babies are allowed to BF and be worn all day and that is unrealistic in this society, I call BS. I'm not saying there is no such thing as colic, I'm just saying that when a parent can't figure out what baby wants or needs they are so quick to jump on the "He's inconsolable, he must have colic" bandwagon and accept that instead of trying to find the solutions. In all the info I recieved after having DD ws full of "colic" tips and info. No wonder parents are so confused.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,582 Posts
I don't know. Maybe some parents are just not very intuitive but I know I tried everything. Our baby girl was never put down and she still cried all the time. It was a nightmare. i'm so glad we are past that. she was ultimately diagnosed with reflux though so I know it wasn't me failing as a parent. but I can definately see your point. I have heard the "I don't want to be a pacifier" comment a million times which annoys me to no end.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
948 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Mommy2Amira</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7254846"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have heard the "I don't want to be a pacifier" comment a million times which annoys me to no end.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
It annoys me too, who better to pacify a child then its mother!?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,192 Posts
My ds had colic, and we read his cues just fine...I was his human pacifier 45 minutes of every hour around the clock when he wasn't screaming (he wouldn't nurse if he was screaming), he was carried around in a sling or our arms every waking minute of the day because the screaming would get worse if we put him down, etc. But in the end, he still had colic (which I strongly suspect was the result of both reflux and sensory issues since he was later diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and autism.<br><br>
But I do think a lot of people mix colic up with just not wanting to read the baby's cues as they are (or they can't...)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,473 Posts
I understand what you are saying but I do think that some babies have "colic" regardless of what is done for/to them. I'm sure feeding cow's milk formula, CIO, abusing baby gear and other parenting choices come into play with most unexplained crying. However some babies, like mine, will gladly cry all evening even though they are fed, changed and being worn.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,166 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>gwynthfair</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7254912"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It annoys me too, who better to pacify a child then its mother!?</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
and maybe those pacifiers are all just nipple-wanna-bes. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> It depends on how you look at things, kwim?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,538 Posts
I guess there are some people like that, but Rivka had colic pretty bad and it really seems like it was colic. I mean I would offer to nurse (she refused and screamed and screamed). I rocked her, I tried a pacifier (it was refused), tried nursing, (refuesed), wearning (screamed harder) etc. She did like the swing at certain points, but honestly there was never a reason found for her fussieness (no refux, etc) and she largely outgrew it by about 6 months. Even today she likes her space, doesnt' like to co-sleep, NEVER nurses to sleep (but always nurses BEFORE she goes to sleep). Different kids / differnt needs.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,214 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>gwynthfair</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7254912"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It annoys me too, who better to pacify a child then its mother!?</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><span><br>
i like to be my lo's dummy/pacifier its nice to be the one to comfort your lo's when there upset or poorly, i'd rather have them attached to my boob 24/7 than sat in a bouncer with dummy all the time <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></span>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,010 Posts
My 6 month old would always scream and cry around my mother when we still involved her in our life. She used to tell us "He must be colicky"- no actually he just hated her <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I have no idea why, she just must not have been meeting his needs well enough. Henri NEVER cries unless something major happens, so being told the kid had colic was hilarious. I think in many, many cases its just baby's cues being misread or ignored altogether.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
495 Posts
I love being a human pacifer.... whatever works.. works <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> My son seems too be a big comfort feeder,but he is only 10 days old, but I love this time with him. He is very GASSY though, and it causes him alot of discomfort. I bought baby's Bliss gripe water, and it works wonders! I do not think I am dealing with Colic, just a little guy trying too work our his kinks.. I know my First had Colic.. NOTHING worked with her, not bouncing, no white noise, no nursing, no paci, NOTHING.<br><br>
I really hope I get lucky, and by pass colic this time around..I as a mind set after my first have always told myself the first 6 months will be the roughest ever, sort of like preparing myself for whatever comes, I found this made life with a very fussy babby ALOT easier..Sort of like epxecting the worst, but praying for the best.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,232 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Like I said I do believe there are true colicky babies, but when they show this babe in an exersaucer, swing, jumperoo, high chair, car seat, and boucy chairs crying it really makes me mad. Just like her stopping BF because she thought it was a cause, then she went through every formula brand till she got to the most expensive and nothing changed, later in the show she says that BF just didn't work. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,086 Posts
^Judge others how you will, but speaking as someone with the experience of 3 months of crying I was willing to try ANYTHING. Occasionally a change of pace would console her for a little while. I remember for 3 days straight if we woke up and put her in her swing she was suddenly the happiest baby ever! Until she started screaming again. The for 3 days straight she loved a pacifier (which I swore up and down she would never see, but I was willing to try ANYTHING since she would not use me as one [though she sure does now!]). Lather. Rinse. Repeat.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>AllyRae</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7255009"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My ds had colic, and we read his cues just fine...I was his human pacifier 45 minutes of every hour around the clock when he wasn't screaming (he wouldn't nurse if he was screaming), he was carried around in a sling or our arms every waking minute of the day because the screaming would get worse if we put him down, etc. But in the end, he still had colic...<br><br>
But I do think a lot of people mix colic up with just not wanting to read the baby's cues as they are (or they can't...)</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that"> My daughter was "colicky" & "high need" = she screamed inconsolably most of her first 3 months but no one could give us a "diagnosis," hence "colic," & the only thing that would somewhat settle her consistantly enough to nurse was being swaddled & cradled upside down (aka "the colic carry") while we bounced her on the birth ball, sometimes while making monkey noises (don't ask). I say "somewhat settle" because even then she would be "fussy." Yes, I read "everything" & I tried "everything."<br><br>
The more she developed the more happy she became, specifically at the 3 month mark when she could really see the "outside" world. Now that she's a crawler she's a totally happy (though still "intense" & "high need") little baby with no physical or developmental issues. The little girl I would hold while I went potty now plays with her books & cuddles her baby like any other normal kid.<br><br>
I would never wish colic on anyone nor would I assume people are not looking for solutions. I would also NEVER judge parents for what they are or are not doing. Not being able to help your hurting? fustrated? sleepy? hungry? sick? dying? lonely? overstimulated? ... newborn after everything you try or from who you beg for help from is one of the most frightening and fustrating experiences you can go through with your child. Especially when you are recovering from birth or cesarean & lack sleep or help. Not to mention the hurtful judgements of other clueless parents & even people without kids!<br><br>
This article helped us, maybe it will help you too:<br><br><a href="http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t051300.asp" target="_blank">http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t051300.asp</a>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,218 Posts
I think there are babies who genuinely have colic, but I would agree that maybe some babies are just high needs and if the parents were more sensitive to that then maybe it would improve. But as you've seen from the pps, there are plenty of babies who are AP'd to the max, and still scream all the time!<br><br>
In our case, my dd suffered from birth trauma due to deep suctioning (meconium staining), which gave her an oral aversion and she cried when she nursed. So she would cry because she was hungry, and then cry when she nursed. As you can imagine, there was a lot of crying going on, no matter what I did <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:. I finally took her to a wonderful <a href="http://www.iahe.com/html/therapies/cst.jsp" target="_blank">craniosacral therapist</a>, and after a few sessions that helped her release the trauma, dd was doing much better <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">. So I would add to your list the possibility of birth trauma, or trauma sustained after birth (or heck, even in utero -- e.g., mom had super stressful pregnancy, etc.). In those cases, even with very responsive and sensitive parents, things can be really hard.<br><br>
I also think it's so hard in our culture because the wisdom that is passed down from generation to generation in "traditional" societies just doesn't exist in the western world. We are taught to put the baby in the crib, set him down so he doesn't get "spoiled", let him cry to "learn" how to self-soothe, etc. It is honestly what nearly <i>everyone</i> says -- parents, relatives, friends, <i>doctors</i>! Maybe mamas feel like this is the wrong thing to do, but they aren't offered an alternative. It's almost impossible to find a sling in a brick and mortar store, and there are so many types out there that if you do go looking online it's completely overwhelming. Even if you get a sling, they aren't that intuitive to use (again, this wisdom is not passed down through the generations). I never did figure out how to bf in my sling, although it probably wouldn't have worked with my dd anyway (what with all the nursing-induced crying). The LLL mtgs around here start at like 9:30 AM, and we were up all night and usually in bed until 11 or noon, so that wasn't a very good option for me. I know how to do it now, thankfully, and plan on attempting again when/if I have another babe!<br><br>
I think some women resort to mainstream parenting practices because they simply don't have the tools to do it any other way. Perhaps if they had bf'ing support and someone to teach them how to use a sling and bf in a sling, someone to reassure them that no they are not spoiling the baby, then carrying the baby and nursing on demand wouldn't seem like such an awful thing <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">.<br><br>
Oh yeah, and I just heard a story on NPR the other day about a study on colicky babies that showed that those who were given probiotics showed a dramatic improvement vs those who were not. (There was no mention as to whether the babes were bf, ff, etc.) This would give some credence to the idea that some (all? a lot?) of colic is due to discomfort in the gut.<br><br>
In the end, I think there are a lot of possible explanations ...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,335 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>AllyRae</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7255009"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My ds had colic, and we read his cues just fine...I was his human pacifier 45 minutes of every hour around the clock when he wasn't screaming (he wouldn't nurse if he was screaming), he was carried around in a sling or our arms every waking minute of the day because the screaming would get worse if we put him down, etc. But in the end, he still had colic (which I strongly suspect was the result of both reflux and sensory issues since he was later diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and autism.<br><br>
But I do think a lot of people mix colic up with just not wanting to read the baby's cues as they are (or they can't...)</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
same here
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,963 Posts
I personally don't think that colic exists. As Dr. Sears said on the Dr. Phil show. Colic is a hurting baby. They are crying for some reason be it reflux, food allergies, gas ect. I also agree with what Dr. Sears said about taking your baby to the ped and telling them that you are not leaving without a diagnosis other than Colic. I hate how Ped's and Society in general are so quick to say "oh it's colic" I don't believe that. Elle was "colicky" she screamed her head off every night from 6pm -midnight for weeks on end. I held her the entire time I nursed her constantly but none of it made a difference. She was a poor sleeper. The ped and everone in my life passed it off as colic. Elle was diagnosed with Reflux and food allergies at 7 months old! My poor baby suffered for months because I was willing to except the diagnosis of "colic". This time around the minuet I saw/heard Meadow start refluxing, and then the gas, and then the crying and then the poor sleeping I eliminated ALL dairy from my diet and went to he Ped and DEMANDED Zantac for the reflux. Within a few days she was back to being happy and sleeping well and refluxing much less.<br><br>
Sorry, I am just really passionate about this subject!!<br><br>
Amy<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 
1 - 15 of 15 Posts
Top