I am so angry I am shaking!
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Today at the playground I witnessed how very far we are from having a "village" to raise our children, and I feel SICK.
A local park is outfitted with these very cool sprinkler systems in which children can push a button and then run thru these child-sized loops that spray water and periodically go on and off and shoot in different directions. Ds (2.75) had been playing happily in the water for about 30 minutes when one of our playgroup friends arrived. We stepped into the shade with our friends to chat with them while they got suited and suncreened. Then ds and his friend jumped up and ran back to the sprinklers.
The sprinkler was about 30 feet away from the shade where we had been, so we adults stood up so we could watch the two children playing. In between us and the sprinkler was a low wall, with about 6 moms sitting on it, watching their children in the sprinkler, about 5-10 feet away. Around the perimeter of the sprinkler were another 3 or 4 moms.
Ds was in the water about 2 min when he started to cry. In the time it took me to lean to one side so I could see around the wall of moms, his upset escalated quickly, and as I started walking toward him, he went into full hysteria. He was facing one of the sprinkler jets that was at exactly his eye-level and it had just come on and was squirting him full in the face. He was PARALYZED with fear and was not moving away from the jet. I have never heard him scream like that, except for when he had to get 7 stitches in his head as a baby.
In the time it took me to SPRINT (5.5 months pregnant) to him, NOT ONE SINGLE "MOTHER" moved to him. It probably only took me 12 seconds to dodge around them, but if you've ever seen a hysterical child, 12 seconds feels like a frickin' LIFETIME, and since he was within arms reach of many of these women, they could have moved him out of the spray within 2 seconds, no exaggerating.
So I dive into the spray and grab him to me, and he clings to me, SHAKING and SOBBING and CHOKING. And you know what?!? STILL NOT ONE OF THOSE BUMPS ON A LOG HAD MOVED HER LAZY A$$!!!! No one even stood up! No one was even looking around to see if this child's mother was on her way. THEY were paralyzed.
With what?!? Confusion? Lack-of-concern? Fear of a lawsuit for touching a child not related to them?!? Not wanting to GET WET?!?!
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My adult friends with me were equally as mortified -- maybe more than me bc they weren't focused on comforting my ds. Which I did, and we ended up leaving bc he was so traumatized and exhausted.
But now I am *really* angry at myself for not saying something to this crowd of ninnies. To get this off my chest, here are things I wish I had said, in order from polite to seething:
To the group:
"It would have been alright for one of you to help him."
"Next time, could one of you help out, please?"
"If it were YOUR child, I would have helped!"
"What is your f#$%ing PROBLEM?!?"
"It's good thing he wasn't DROWNING!"
"I hope none of you are ever at the scene when *I* need help!!!!"
"You people are WORTHLESS. So much for 'it takes a village'!"
"THIS is what's wrong with society . . . Right here in the middle of lily-white, contry club suburbia! If you good-for-nothing losers aren't going to participate in helping to protect ALL children, why DON'T you get jobs and hire someone CARING to take your frickin' place?!?!?!"
AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!
So help me out here, people . . . I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir, but don't YOU help other's people children when help is called for?!? Don't you step in?!? Don't you have enough compassion to go around?!? Can I not tell my child that other mommies are okay people to ask for help?!?
Or have we truly reached an age where it is unthinkable to help our neighbors, no excuse me, our neighbors' CHILDREN, even if they are strangers?!?!
PROMISE ME that you AP mamas are different! PROMISE ME THAT YOU'LL HELP MY CHILDREN IF THEY NEED IT. I promise I'll help yours -- in a heartbeat, without a moment's consideration. I have and I do and I will. ALWAYS.
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My poor child. I have this feeling that this could be one of those permanent memories for him . . . The day Mommy couldn't get to him to save him from the spraying water, and no one else around helped him.
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Trying to resume Breathing,
E.
Today at the playground I witnessed how very far we are from having a "village" to raise our children, and I feel SICK.
A local park is outfitted with these very cool sprinkler systems in which children can push a button and then run thru these child-sized loops that spray water and periodically go on and off and shoot in different directions. Ds (2.75) had been playing happily in the water for about 30 minutes when one of our playgroup friends arrived. We stepped into the shade with our friends to chat with them while they got suited and suncreened. Then ds and his friend jumped up and ran back to the sprinklers.
The sprinkler was about 30 feet away from the shade where we had been, so we adults stood up so we could watch the two children playing. In between us and the sprinkler was a low wall, with about 6 moms sitting on it, watching their children in the sprinkler, about 5-10 feet away. Around the perimeter of the sprinkler were another 3 or 4 moms.
Ds was in the water about 2 min when he started to cry. In the time it took me to lean to one side so I could see around the wall of moms, his upset escalated quickly, and as I started walking toward him, he went into full hysteria. He was facing one of the sprinkler jets that was at exactly his eye-level and it had just come on and was squirting him full in the face. He was PARALYZED with fear and was not moving away from the jet. I have never heard him scream like that, except for when he had to get 7 stitches in his head as a baby.
In the time it took me to SPRINT (5.5 months pregnant) to him, NOT ONE SINGLE "MOTHER" moved to him. It probably only took me 12 seconds to dodge around them, but if you've ever seen a hysterical child, 12 seconds feels like a frickin' LIFETIME, and since he was within arms reach of many of these women, they could have moved him out of the spray within 2 seconds, no exaggerating.
So I dive into the spray and grab him to me, and he clings to me, SHAKING and SOBBING and CHOKING. And you know what?!? STILL NOT ONE OF THOSE BUMPS ON A LOG HAD MOVED HER LAZY A$$!!!! No one even stood up! No one was even looking around to see if this child's mother was on her way. THEY were paralyzed.
With what?!? Confusion? Lack-of-concern? Fear of a lawsuit for touching a child not related to them?!? Not wanting to GET WET?!?!
My adult friends with me were equally as mortified -- maybe more than me bc they weren't focused on comforting my ds. Which I did, and we ended up leaving bc he was so traumatized and exhausted.
But now I am *really* angry at myself for not saying something to this crowd of ninnies. To get this off my chest, here are things I wish I had said, in order from polite to seething:
To the group:
"It would have been alright for one of you to help him."
"Next time, could one of you help out, please?"
"If it were YOUR child, I would have helped!"
"What is your f#$%ing PROBLEM?!?"
"It's good thing he wasn't DROWNING!"
"I hope none of you are ever at the scene when *I* need help!!!!"
"You people are WORTHLESS. So much for 'it takes a village'!"
"THIS is what's wrong with society . . . Right here in the middle of lily-white, contry club suburbia! If you good-for-nothing losers aren't going to participate in helping to protect ALL children, why DON'T you get jobs and hire someone CARING to take your frickin' place?!?!?!"
AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!
So help me out here, people . . . I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir, but don't YOU help other's people children when help is called for?!? Don't you step in?!? Don't you have enough compassion to go around?!? Can I not tell my child that other mommies are okay people to ask for help?!?
Or have we truly reached an age where it is unthinkable to help our neighbors, no excuse me, our neighbors' CHILDREN, even if they are strangers?!?!
PROMISE ME that you AP mamas are different! PROMISE ME THAT YOU'LL HELP MY CHILDREN IF THEY NEED IT. I promise I'll help yours -- in a heartbeat, without a moment's consideration. I have and I do and I will. ALWAYS.
My poor child. I have this feeling that this could be one of those permanent memories for him . . . The day Mommy couldn't get to him to save him from the spraying water, and no one else around helped him.
Trying to resume Breathing,
E.
