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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am really just shocked at my dh and my family latley.<br><br>
First my mom tells me how she wants to spend time with my dd, And how i haven't let her keep her for a week with out me yet. I am breastfeeding and really don't want to be away from my dd for a whole week!! btw my mom lives 3 hours away. then she says i let her see my son more than I do with my dd. My son didn't stay over night with her but 2 times with out me there. He was also 1yr and 2.5yrs when he did spend the night there.<br><br>
Then the next night we are on our way to step daughters school concert. dd is getting fussy becasue she is hungry and tired. She isn't really screaming yet but i can tell in the next 10min I better be feeding her. I told dh just get to the school and i will feed her there. We are about 7-10min away from school at this point. Dh says "No i will just pull over now. You don't need to be breastfeeding in the school. what will all those little boys think" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"> I was too darn shocked to say anything. I mean holy cow it is just breastfeeding a baby. They won't even see my boob. Dh wants me to breastfeed thou and doesn't want dd to have any formula but then he says things like this.<br><br>
Ok then this morning i told dh hey i made dd some babyfood. Dh then goes in the rant of how i am getting obsesed. I cloth diaper, wear dd in a sling, and tend to her when she cries. now i am making her food when i can just go buy it in the store. He thinks the .58 i saved making dd food isn't worth it. I just said what ever and left for work.<br><br>
btw i get to leaving my jobe in 4 weeks to be a sahm to my kids.<br><br>
Ok so tell me I am not crazy. I do have 1 ap friend i live by. Luckly i get som support. So what can i do to inlighten dh??
 

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Hug you are not crazy!<br><br>
If you DH wants your DD to have breastmilk because it is healthier you could use that also for making your own baby food. It is healthier to have whole foods than to have pasturized baby food from a factory. Plus some babies prefer homemade food anyway. My DD did.<br><br>
It really doesn't take up that much time. You can do a bunch on a saturday freeze them and then you could stock up and just do it once a month.
 

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You aren't ccrazy, but your mother is flipping mad!<br>
A 6 month old baby for a WEEK?? My almost *12 YEAR* old doesn't spend a week away from me with anyone but his father!!<br>
I would flat out tell your mom that there is no way in bloody blue moon that either of your children is spending a week ANYWHERE without you and if she wants to spend more time with DD, she can come and visit for a few days!<br>
As for husband... he's a NIP wimp, that's all. Many men are like that... *sigh*<br>
No advice, sorry...
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks for resonding.<br>
Yeah i guess my husband is just a nip whimp. That is a good way to look at it. I was kinda mad at first but i can kinda see his side now. Thanks for posting that.This is my second so i have lost all nerviousness nip now. lol. Just he is just not there yet. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/innocent.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shy"><br><br>
Yeah i kinda thought my mom was crazy too. A week i mean wow. She even wanted my 4yr old a week too. I could handle hearing that a lot better then when she wanted my 8month old for the same time. Not to mention he with her heatlh restriction she really can't even handle care of them both for 1 week with out a lot of help. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">
 

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Wow....a week away at 6 monthes? My mama is the bestest mama in the WHOLE UNIVERSE but my dd#1 has only spent the nite twice....she is 18 mos....once when I was in labor and once when I had to work late but went on a date with dh.....dd#2 who is 6 monthes has NEVER even spent a nite and wont for a long time....we are mamas! We want our children kept close to us especially during bfing......And for your dh, it is funny for him to be a nip wimp BUT also he is conveying more a sexual message of breastfeeding than ya know just casual necessity. I mean dont get me wrong its funny and I am not being all serious but ya know maybe if he was more comfortable he could help contribute to young men's views becoming less oversexed when it comes to things like that.
 

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I hope you didn't feel guilty when your mom made that outrageous, if generous, invitation. Thank her so much and move on, baby! There is no universe in which it is reasonable for you to bring your six month old breastfeeding baby to your disabled mom's house for a week.<br><br>
If you want to make babyfood at home, you should. Why not? It's not like it's something mysterious, it's just puréed vegetables! Like you need someone in a factory to run the blender for you. Puh-leese. I went through this with my mom. I said, "What do you think they put in the jars of babyfood, what mysterious qualities does it possess that I can't duplicate in my kitchen? How hard do you think it is for me to operate a blender...or a potato masher! It's not rocket science!"<br><br>
(Though the store-bought baby food my mom gave me in the late 1960s was I am very sure full of mysterious qualities...things like sugar, salt, and the pesticides from conventionally grown produce...ewwww.)<br><br>
My dh also had a thing about NIP. Too bad for him. he got over it. I figure, he's a great dad in every other imaginable way, no biggie if he doesn't want me to expose my feminine pulchritude to the world.
 

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You are not crazy, but you mom is dilusional if she thinks you need to leave a baby for a week. I could see a teenager, but by then who would want them :LOL<br><br>
Dh used to do the same thing about the babyfood. Then I showed him how much DD ate (8 jars a day plus cereal...at 8 months) and it is MUCH cheaper, especially if you grow your own food (we have peaches, pears, berries, potatoes...). Even regular canned applesauce is cheaper than babyfood. If he makes a big deal, buy him the peas and green beans. Get him to taste them...they are gross, no wonder some babies hate them:LOL jared may be cheap now, but it will add up when they start eating more.
 

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You are not crazy for what you are doing.<br><br>
Six months old & still breastfeeding are both good enough reasons not to be away from your dd for a week... my dd is 5 and I still wouldn't ship her off to grandma for a week. You don't even need a reason if it just isn't in your comfort zone as a parent.<br><br>
I made my own baby food. It was not a huge deal to do so- blender, poato masher. I froze it in ice cube trays and thawed it out as needed. It was fresher and I think made it easier to tailor to my dd's tastes and needs. It was usually an extension of what we were eating so really not a big deal. If you do a quick internet search on make your own baby food you will find lots of site with info... even Pampers has info about it. It is not weird or obsessive at all. It's kind of like buying ice... you can buy it but you can also make it yourself really easily.<br><a href="http://us.pampers.com/en_US/content/type/101/contentId/15400.do" target="_blank">http://us.pampers.com/en_US/content/...entId/15400.do</a><br><a href="http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/T032300.asp" target="_blank">http://www.askdrsears.com/html/3/T032300.asp</a><br><a href="http://parenting.ivillage.com/baby/bnutrition/0,,lz_6qzf,00.html" target="_blank">http://parenting.ivillage.com/baby/b...z_6qzf,00.html</a>
 

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I agree with pps that your mom is out of line. My mom whines about crazy things things like that now and then but it's more about her need for attention than anything else. You are right on if you just forget about it.<br><br>
As for DH, he might be stressing out a bit about your quitting work - my friend's DH kind of started making wierd passive-aggressive comments and being inconsisent about things around the time she quit her job to be a SAHM. It's stressful for them to bear all the financial burden themselves, I think. So maybe that is contributing to his comments - ?
 

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Ok- check out some websites like "one step ahead" and other children products. Breastfeeding and making your own baby food are "in" these days. really....<br><br>
I am sorry your mom wants your daughter to stay with her for that long already. That is a long time. I had a trip across country and my ILs came to our house and watched the girls for 4 days. That was pretty hard for only 4 days...
 

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About DH - the NIP thing is a shame. I think he may well be right that young boys would be curious about breastfeeding (when I have my baby with me at DD's preschool and nurse her, some of the older boys ask a lot of questions, but it's all pretty innocent curiosity, I think). I don't think that justifies avoiding bf at school, though - it's entirely possible to be discreet, and the more women NIP, the easier it will be for people to accept it.<br><br>
I think one of the PP's is right on that your DH may be a little worried about your transition to becoming a SAHM, and that could be the source of some of his snarkiness. Homemade baby food IS much cheaper in the long run, and also much better for your baby - wouldn't you rather know what goes into your dd's little tummy?<br><br>
As for your mom, do what you can to brush her off. My ILs had this weird thing about wanting our kids to take "vacations" at their house when they were babies, and it just wasn't, and isn't, going to happen. Why would you want to be separated from your infant for a week? Or even a day, barring some unforseen and unavoidable situation?<br><br>
Hugs to you. Keep doing what you're doing and know that you are a great mom.
 
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