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Complain-O-Matic: What's yer problem, matey?

  • Too big. According to strangers.

    Votes: 11 22.4%
  • Too small. According to strangers.

    Votes: 9 18.4%
  • Braxton Hicks O' Nothin' Doin'.

    Votes: 14 28.6%
  • Dude, I just peed myself. Or something.

    Votes: 24 49.0%
  • Hungry? I'll just have two of whatever you're having.

    Votes: 18 36.7%
  • Insomniacs unite and party at night.

    Votes: 26 53.1%
  • A burning heart, not from love but from Ben and Jerry's 2am visit.

    Votes: 22 44.9%
  • Faulty back/sides/hips/entire body, and no receipt.

    Votes: 37 75.5%
  • Inconsequential strangers are suddenly annoying. I feel unpleasant urges.

    Votes: 16 32.7%
  • Baby trying to escape via secret belly button hatch.

    Votes: 21 42.9%
  • Crying jags in Safeway checkouts seem to upset clerks.

    Votes: 9 18.4%
  • Yeti Yoni.

    Votes: 18 36.7%
  • Flu/Cold/illnesses are having a party in my body.

    Votes: 10 20.4%
  • My doula/midwife/OB just quit due to "creative differences."

    Votes: 2 4.1%
  • HELP! GD is not working with my fetus!(wrong forum)

    Votes: 1 2.0%
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This is too funny :LOL<br><br>
I voted:<br>
Braxton Hicks O' Nothin' Doin'.<br>
Insomniacs unite and party at night.<br>
A burning heart, not from love but from Ben and Jerry's 2am visit.
 

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HILARIOUS. OMG. I love it. My favorite is "Dude, I just peed myself. Or something." Classic. Beautiful. I am very proud to have laid "Yeti Yoni" down in history.<br><br>
To my own complaint list, I would add<br>
"<i>scratch,scratch,scratch</i> The bed bugs seem to have followed me out of bed",<br>
"Wowwie I miss breathing without a human being lodged in my lung",<br>
"Can't take this poll, gotta pee. In fact, that's pretty much all I do. Pee.",<br>
and "Sex? ? Ummmm...............no. See all of the above."
 

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oh thats good :LOL thank you <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> its good to make light of our many complaints.. i just think of all of the places around the world where woman have little to eat, no health care and give birth somewhere in a field and just keep on working.i try to remember that ive got it easy. we all have... even if my hips and pubic bone feel like they are going to break when i move and my heart is burnin and i piss myself when i cough or sneeze and my yoni is yetti and wetti <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> we still are friggin lucky. and soon we will have sweeet little babies in our arms!!!!!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/luxlove.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="throb"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bouncy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bouncy"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>zjande</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">To my own complaint list, I would add<br>
"<i>scratch,scratch,scratch</i> The bed bugs seem to have followed me out of bed",<br>
"Wowwie I miss breathing without a human being lodged in my lung",<br>
"Can't take this poll, gotta pee. In fact, that's pretty much all I do. Pee.",<br>
and "Sex? ? Ummmm...............no. See all of the above."</div>
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Ya, those!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/kiss.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="kiss"><br>
I <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> you for making me smile... it's quite a feat to be accomplished these days!!!
 

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What an awesome thread!<br><br>
I'm in on:<br><br>
Brax Hicks Nothin' Doin<br>
Faulty body! (hello, can I hold ANYTHING without dropping it?) Why do I feel super menstral crampy every time I have to poop?<br><br>
How about many, many acquaintences saying "wow - you've dropped" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nut.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nut"><br><br>
On top of this, I have a really really fun YEAST infection! Whoppeee!!!!
 

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Insomniacs unite! (as I do a 3 am post- thank you universe for MDC, because 3 am television is terrible!)<br><br>
:LOL :LOL <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bouncy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bouncy"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bouncy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bouncy">
 

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I just checked off half the things!<br>
Can't tell if I have yeti yoni or not considering tha I havent' been able to get a look at it in weeks!!!
 

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Oh, that's good.<br><br>
I voted<br><br>
Braxton Hicks<br>
Insomnia<br>
CRYING JAGS - my husband thinks I've gone insane!<br>
Baby trying to escape through belly button. This has been going on since about 20 weeks. Ouch!<br><br>
Thanks for the laugh!
 

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Baby trying to escape via secret belly button hatch.-- I didn't know anyone else had this problem!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> Seriously, it feels as if he is tryng to kick his way out!!<br>
(visiting from Jan. board)
 

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Too funny!<br><br>
I second the Dropsies. My gosh, it is so darn frustrating how many things I drop in a day. I sure hope it goes away before I have an innocent newborn in my clumsy paws.<br><br>
Gas anyone? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">:<br><br>
Or Moving as slow as a sleeping sloth...and still feeling like you just ran a marathon?
 

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This is very funny!! I voted yeti yoni because I can't get waxed until my lochia stops. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
I *did* have most of the rest of it.<br><br>
Can we add "screaming painful boobs" and "crime scene lochia" to the complaint list???? :LOL
 

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heehee!<br><br>
I finally took a Pepcid AC before dinner last night (per midwife's recommendation) and it made SUCH a world of difference! I felt better the whole evening and "only" woke up from hip pain, pelvic pain and leg cramps.<br>
:LOL
 

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It's hard to choose only one!<br><br>
But, my biggest pregnancy challenge has been that people are dropping from the birth like flies...first, my OB said I was a liability and dropped me from service. Second, my MW apprentice left the practice and is now studying in South America (good for her though!). Third, my best friend is all of a sudden going out of town the whole week I am due after committing to be the MC for all things related to running the house and my dog's support person.<br><br>
I have felt great physically though!!! I just have a bunch of people who don't seem to want to be around the birth.
 

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I think I said yes to more then not.... HMMMM, 13 days & counting ( on going over my due date :LOL )<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bouncy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bouncy"> I laughed out loud - which was Much needed!!!!!<br><br>
Thanks Mama!!!! Laura
 

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I absolutely laughed out loud and I checked nearly every box. :LOL<br><br>
I don't get the last one though...what's GD?<br><br>
Christa
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>crsta33</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't get the last one though...what's GD?</div>
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"Gentle Discipline". I checked that one. Blobby is a bad, bad girl at 4 am.<br><br>
And to be honest, the only reason I'm using "gentle discipline" techniques is cause if I spank her, it really does "hurt me more than it hurts her"!!!!!
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>BensMom</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Too funny!<br><br>
Gas anyone? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">:<br><br>
Or Moving as slow as a sleeping sloth...and still feeling like you just ran a marathon?</div>
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Oooohhhhh yeah...on both accounts!<br><br>
This poll is GREAT! Thanks for making me laugh out loud about all of my whiny complaints! Personally afflicted to the Nth degree with "Dude, I just peed myself", "Yeti Yoni" and "Baby trying to escape through secret hatch in belly button". I only started experiencing that last one in the last 72 hours...all I can say is OUCH!!!!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Well, and I did mean this "GD not working with fetus" in a certain tongue-in-cheek way -<br><br>
"I understand that you feel like kicking me from within right now and playing cat's cradle with my intestines, little baby boy, but mama would like to sleep so that she can go to work tomorrow, and it is 3 AM. Can I use a distraction tool, perhaps? Maybe a nice glass of warm milk or glass of bordeaux? Is this developmentally appropriate? "<br><br>
It. just. doesn't. work. Argh!<br><br>
(Note: I do not actually drink bordeaux as a sleep aid. While pregnant.)<br><br>
And, I do GD as well, at least by my definition of GD.
 
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