[ChristyH]

My DD is 20 months old. She used to say about 3-4 words but has regressed into just 1 word "Hi" That's it! Not only is she not talking but every single day is a battle with her, the temper tantrum are pretty much from sun up to sun down. I try to comfort her and she pushes me away for hits me, I leave her alone and she throws herself on the floor.
I am just at the end of my rope, we have a new baby in the house and everyone is saying that maybe she is just jealous. That might be it but the only time she seems to be happy is when I let her hold or play with her little brother? I'm so concerned that maybe something is wrong with her, I've been around so many kids in my life (I was a nanny for 4 years) and I've never seen a child act like she does all day long. I'm so sad and frustrated.

I am taking her in to see her ped tomorrow to talk about speech therapy but I'm so concerned about her behaviour.

So tell me someone else has a terror child and that she will just grow out of it and everything will be fine. Any tips? I'm open to trying anything.

 

[PikkuMyy]

Hi Christy,

I posted this for another person's experience with a 3 year old with tantrums from my experience with my student with autism. You don't need to use the picture communication symbol, you can use language. The point is that it's an activity that lets her calm down on her terms, but safely, and with you right near her. She decides when she's ready for interaction and you are there to make sure she doesn't hurt yourself. We started doing it on his bed and now do it lots of other places - couches, in one of the plastic tunnels at the playground, etc.

I work with a boy with autism, and we've done a similar thing to Shannon. When he reaches a certain point where he's had too many demands, or something normally small and not bothersome has set him above his limit, we do "relax". We have a PECs icon (he uses picture communication symbols to communicate along with language) and at the beginning, I would put it on his schedule and we'd go to his bed where I'd sit with him but not make any demands - no talking, no touching, nothing. He would be the one to initiate any interaction.

We do this every day when he isn't upset to reinforce the point of the activity - he's in control and he can decide how much interaction we have.

So when he's upset, I first had to prompt him to give me the relax symbol but now he'll do it on his own. Then he'll decide (I let him show me because "relax" means no demands for language) where he wants to do it. I'll sit near or far depending on how upset he is and I only intervene if he is doing something dangerous like banging the wall. He can have pillows and a blanket to wrap up in or squeeze. As he calms down, I make myself available - I move closer, put my hand out (his most relaxing activity is being softly stroked with fingernails on his skin, we call it "tickles".) make some eye contact and wait for him to want to be tickled, cuddle, etc.

This has made a HUGE difference in the amount of time he tantrums and our interactions. It lets him know that it is safe and OK to be upset but that he has to do it with someone near. He no longer (most of the time) pushes or kicks at the adult because he knows we won't make any demands. But he knows that we are there FOR him when he is ready for us. When he has calmed down, he can initiate, and the tantrum ends with us doing a happy calm activity together that he has asked for.

I can imagine that this would work with kids who don't have special needs, as well as those that do. If you have any other questions, let me know.

 

[ChristyH]

Thank you Emily, I will have to give that a try.

My only problem is that when I just sit in front of her she comes over and pulls my hair or pinches me. I usually hold her hand and say "No ma'am, that hurts mama" And that usually makes her more mad. Sometimes the only way I can get her to calm down is to ask her if she wants to take a bath. Her reaction to that almost every time is she bolts for the stairs. She loves to take a bath.
Plus I have a 5 yr old and a 6 month old so it's hard to me to drop everything (especially with the baby) and give one on one with Sara.
All of these horrible things keep running through my head about what is wrong with her, of course autism is the first thing. But she responds so well to commands when she is not upset that I don't think that can be it.
I'm sorry if I'm rambling, it's been another long day.

 

[Marsupialmom]

Please, Please, Please get her hearing tested!!!!!! You would be surprised at what a HOH child does and doesn't miss.

Could it be Asperger's a form of Autism?

Senory intergration issues?

 

[ChristyH]

Thank you everyone!

I know I am probably over-reacting but something in my gut is just telling me something is wrong and I'm going to get her help no matter what. We are having her hearing tested, she is the only one of my children who have not tested yet so that is a high priority right now.
And I do think I may have a high spirited child on my hands, and according to my father she is just trying to give justice to her name-sake (My grandmother :LOL ) Who I hear was a very spirited child as well.

I'll let you know how things go.

Thanks again!

 

[bobica]

Hi Christy! I may have to make this short b/c dd is really fighting her nap today (sigh) but i wanted to give you my 2 cents. I'm a speech-language pathologist & have worked a lot with preschoolers & toddlers. I think it's great that you're going to talk to her ped about your concerns. However, not all of them are therapy friendly, so you may get a "wait & see" "just a phase" "she'll grow out of it" response. These could all be valid, but as a therapist, i'm more prone to the "better safe than sorry" approach.

I absolutely agree that her hearing needs to be tested. Both an audiological exam (listening for sounds) and a tympanogram (measures the pressure in the middle ear & will detect the presence of fluid). That's first. A speech/language evaluation is also a very good idea. It's not typical to have words & then lose them & it's a good thing to have checked out. Early intervention (birth to 3) is, i think in most if not all states, free and often home-based.

You know your child better than anyone & your judgement is the most important. If your gut tells you something is wrong, by all means get it checked out! (i speak from personal experience here- siobhan has been receiving physical therapy since april!).

Feel free to PM me if you have more questions!

 

[emmasayshi]

I write on here alot about th e autism research institute. It is a godsend for parents like kus and I'd like to recommend them to you so that you can get their E2 checklist. You call them up and ask them for the e2checklist and they will send it to you for free. You fill it out and then you send it back and they look at it and tell you if your kid has autism. I would also think that getting your childs hearing tested is a good idea but especially the fact that your babe has reversals/losses in language makes me think that your babe is like my babes. So contact Autism Research Institute and get the checklist and then you can go from there. They are in san diego california and have a webpage on the net that has the address and phone number I think. They are nice people and they read your checklist for free too and they know what they are talking about.

 

[ChristyH]

Thank you , I'm going to go check them out on the net right now.

 

[AahRee]

I don't have any great advice, but I agree that you should go with your gut. If you think there are tests that should be done, definitely make sure she gets them. I just wanted to offer a

for you and for your DD.