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WASHINGTON, DC-Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice called developments "encouraging" on the first day of diplomatic talks with representatives from the underwater kingdom of Rubba Dubdub, which were held in the spacious bathtub of Rice's private D.C. residence on Monday.

The Secretary Of State, who had been accused of ignoring the area for the past four days, agreed to dispatch much-needed hot water to the region, and freed up a bath brush as a means of mass transit for Rubba Dubdub residents, including Admiral Floaters The Empty Shampoo Bottle, Wind-Up Whale, and Handy, a terry-cloth wash-mitt shaped like a goldfish. A Rice-owned inflatable bath pillow long deemed an eyesore by residents was also removed from the territory.

It's about time we normalized relations.
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