[laurabfig]

Does anyone else feel like this? Before I had children, I loved my job and although I still like my work, it is hard to leave them and I feel like it places undue stress upon my marriage...with me being so stressed trying to take care of our kids, work, keep up the house, etc. My dh is great and helps a ton and has the kids for 1/2 the time I am at work for my 20 hours a week, but it is just so stressful at times. Sometimes i have to admit to myself that I don't really WANT to work, even though I say that I love my job and that I would work even if we didn't need the income and all of that. So what I need is some encouragment....tell me the great things that you all enjoy about WOH. It is going to be at least another year before we would be financially able for me to quit my job, so I need some perseverance!

Thanks mamas!

 

[tug]

hmm, maybe i shouldn't answer since i feel exactly the same way...but i want to try to remind you (and myself) of the good parts...i like my friends at work, i would be cut off socially if i stayed home...i like being able to afford groceries and health insurance and it would be doubly stressful not to be able to afford that stuff...well, that's all i can think of...i guess in theory there is the argument that you are still in the workforce so it will not be hard to get back full time when the kids go to school (or are you going to homeschool?).

somehow i'm guessing i haven't helped much...just hang in there!!!!

 

[Chaja]

There are times I feel exactly like you do - I'm just biding my time until I can stay home full time and then other days I really enjoy work and think - I could keep doing this even after I *HAVE* to.

Things I enjoy at work: Fixing a problem - it's exciting when I see something I've delt with before and am able to fix it or find a creative solution. I negotiate leases for a living - there are times I really enjoy the adrenaline created when you can have some back and forth on a deal - at home when I do this with my husband or other people I get too stressed and don't enjoy it (or other's don't enjoy it) but at work it's a safe environment to have some friendly disagreement and then come to a nice compromise, Meeting new people at work or on the other side, SOMETIMES I like having a reason to get dressed and put on make-up, I like feeling as if I'm remaining intellectually stimulated, I hope my ds will be proud of me as a person and as a mom and be able to say "My Moms a _____" with a big smile. Even if I don't do it full time, I think it'll be nice when he's older to know that I am something other than just a mom and during adolescence he'll know I am giving him advice as someone who has been out there and had to deal with people and difficult situations and I'm giving advice based upon this experience as well as my experience as his mom. :

Hopefully when he's ready for college or a semester in Europe or china or some other great opportunity that is expensive it will be nice to know that my working now helped him have the opportunities to do those things then.

Still - I miss my time with my baby boy

r

 

[ChasingPeace]

Why I like WOH:
-social interaction
-getting dressed up
-intellectual stimulation
-having an identity other than being a Mom (although I love that identity, too!)
-I'm better at my job than at housework
-I'd be depressed if I were home all the time
-going out to lunch
-more money for our family
-I feel my work makes a contribution to society
-time for myself on the way to and from work
-I'm setting a good example for my ds (when he's old enough to notice) regarding gender roles
-I value every second with my ds

 

[laurabfig]

It is amazing how encouraging it is to know that other women feel the same way I do. Thanks for the reminders and the encouragement everyone!

 

[mamalisa]

You know what's funny? I LOVED my job. Loved it. I went to part time and my job became the part of my old job that I loved, without any of the stuff I hated. I had no desire to be there at all. I had a perfect set up, great hours, great money, great boss. Plus, I was great at my job. But when I left the house at 4am and ds woke up on my way out the door, it all seemed so pointless. To leave my crying babe, for money. I felt like I slept and I worked.

BUT, now I stay home.....let me tell you, the grass isn't always greener. I so miss the social interaction of other grownups. I miss having to get dressed nicely, I miss taking 15 minute breaks, I miss the brain work that I used to do. Problem solving used to be a huge part of my day...it still is, but how to get a three year old to take a pill isn't quiet the same! I miss having structure. Ds isn't a structure kind of kid.

The way I see it, you do what you need to do to get to certain points in life. If we want to get to our next "point" I will need to go back to work part time. But, I just don't have the drive to put my heart and soul into something new, my heart and soul belongs to ds and dh right now. Eventually I will have to make space for a job, not just for money, but for me. I know that I need a little more "me" in my life.

There is good and bad to every situation. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to work to be with you babies. But know that you are doing a great thing by working to give them what you want them to have in life