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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
DH and I have co-slept with all three of our children (we have had, at various times, anywhere from 1-3 children in bed with us). I have shared a bed with various children for going on 6 years now. And I am tired of it. Co-sleeping is wearing me out

Currently we share our bed with our 8 1/2 month old, but our 4 year old sleeps in our room too - just in her own bed - but she usually climbs into bed with us in the wee hours of the morning. The baby tosses and turns and wants to nurse on and off throughout the night. My DD talks and kicks in her sleep - the kicking makes LOTS of noise too. I am SO low on sleep it's ridiculous. I've been averaging about 5 hours of broken sleep a night. And since I work PT I usually can't nap during the day.

Seriously, I know this is best for my children. But it's killing me. I'm not a spring chicken anymore - I'm getting to the point in my life where I NEED my sleep, and I'm not getting it. The baby, who happily sleeps in his crib for naps, refuses to sleep there at night. And my lovely DD gets very upset if we suggest having her sleep anywhere but in our room. (She has her own room, or she could share DS #1s room).

I just needed to vent. I am at work this morning like a total *zombie* because the baby kept crawling over me last night - from one side to another - and DD kept kicking her mattress over and over and over and over and over . . . .

I'm tired. I want my bed to myself.
 

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I'm sorry that you are going through such a rough point! I know it doesn't help now, but this too shall pass.
I wish I had more advice!
 

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We too are trying to decide if co sleeping is still best. We are losing a lot of sleep and waking up bruised from DD. And DD is not getting a full nights sleep either. I am not looking forward to trying her in her toddler bed in our room.
 

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I don't know that it's as simple as saying "cosleeping is best for them." They're not tiny babies anymore, and they can be transitioned if you need to, IMO. Cosleeping with 2 had me on the verge of sleep-deprivation-induced lunacy. You have to take care of yourself too.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by SublimeBirthGirl View Post
I don't know that it's as simple as saying "cosleeping is best for them." They're not tiny babies anymore, and they can be transitioned if you need to, IMO. Cosleeping with 2 had me on the verge of sleep-deprivation-induced lunacy. You have to take care of yourself too.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by SublimeBirthGirl View Post
I don't know that it's as simple as saying "cosleeping is best for them." They're not tiny babies anymore, and they can be transitioned if you need to, IMO.

ITA with this. We cosleep because it's how everyone sleeps best. When that changes we will stop.
 

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Yup. I agree with the above posters. I love snuggling with the bunny, but we don't co-sleep every night anymore. I have tried to be flexible and go by his cues. At first, he wouldn't sleep anywhere but on me. Then he'd sleep next to me on the bed. Then the sidecar. Now the Pack and Play in our room. As HE gets comfortable with each stage, I let him do it. I don't really see it as cruel. If he needed me, then I'd be there for him in an instant. But I also think it's building independence IN A HEALTHY WAY in him. Not forcing a newborn to sleep in his own room, but also letting him have more and more personal space as he grows. He's growing up very secure and attached (even though he's only 6 months) and I don't think he's ever in his life felt alone or abandoned.

The eight month old might start sleeping in a sidecar for the moment to transition him, and as for your four year old, if you have to push her a little, unless you're really seeing signs of trauma, I'd say that's OK too. Let the baby bird fly and all that.
 

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I am no fan of co-sleeping..I only do it when they are babies...I dont get a good nights sleep. Its easier than not when BFing, I think...lol...though I put DD in her crib at about 8 weeks and she didnt sleep through the night till 10 months... so that was 8 months of dragging myself down the hall to nurse her in the night - and i still felt more rested than when she slept with us.

I dont think cosleeping is all that important frankly... esp if it isnt working for your family. dont worry about whats right for other families.
 

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I think sometimes as mamas we get so focused on "what do our kids want" that we forget to take account of what we want or need.
I know I'm guilty of that.

would maybe transitioning the baby into a cosleeper or a sidecarred crib help you get more rest, while not completely cutting out cosleeping? That way you'd be kicked a lot less. Just a thought.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Thanks everyone - it's nice to know that I'm not alone. As far as sleeping with my babe goes, he still nurses a LOT (we've only recently started solids), so I would hate to get up in the middle of the night to nurse him. I know partially it is guilt that keeps me from trying to get him to sleep on his own. I'm so afraid that I'm going to short-change his "babyhood" since I have two older kiddos to care for as well. I co-slept with my older 2 as long as they wnated and part of me thinks I should do the same for the baby, my own needs be damned.

As far as my daughter goes, she has been having some severe separation anxiety lately. I am trying to make myself as available as possible to her, and that included moving her bed into my room last month. She had been in her own room, but kept creeping back into our bed multiple times a night. We'd walk her back to her own bed, but she'd end up right back with us. I can't sleep well with her in bed - she's squirmy. After many sleepless nights for all of use we finally compromised with moving her bed into our room. She sleeps MUCH better now.

Anyway, I have a lot to think about. We are going on vacation in a couple of weeks, so I am not going to mess with anyone's sleep right now. But I do think I will be making some changes when we get back. Hopefully we can make some peaceful transitions and improve upon my (and DHs) lack of sleep.
 

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It can be so hard sometimes. DD was in her own bed in her own room for about 5 1/2 months and I loved getting my sleep again. But recently she has started coming back in our bed in the middle of the night. There just isn't enough room for all three of us especially since I am 40 wks pg. I don't get much sleep. I don't know what I am going to do when the baby comes. Co-sleeping I feel is best for the kids but we need our sleep too. Sorry that you are going through this. I don't function well on less than 8 hrs of sleep and I don't think I have gotten 8 solid hours of sleep since I was 7 months pg with #1! LOL. One day we will have the opprotunity to sleep all night, hang in there.
 
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