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I agree with the captain that it could be a matter of too many choices. I have never given my two-year-old many choices--not out of control issues but to keep things simple. If I'm getting A ready and he requests B, then I am (almost always) happy to give him B; even better, I feel like B is what he really wants. Anyway, I've noticed that when he does get a choice he'll always choose the last option he hears, so I'm not sure how accurate his response is!

So when we get dressed in the morning, for example, he'll be playing or zipping around and I'll pull some clothes out of the drawer. We take off pajamas and talk about our day and sing songs and look at books while I slip the clothes on him. We'll talk about the color of his pants or the stripes on his shirt as I put them on, but the rest of his clothes are out of sight. The whole operation is matter-of-fact.

As a counterexample, yesterday I was getting him some dry cereal to munch on and I put it in a little cup. He started crying and managed to sob out, "Big cereal." So I put it in a bowl instead and all was sunshiny again. I suppose that offering a choice would have avoided a minor melt-down, but I felt like it was a good opportunity for him to express himself and for me to learn how to listen.

The independence is so great, but it can be a challenge too! What my son needs to do by himself changes daily. Right now he has to be the one who buckles the chest clip on his car seat. I try to work with it, as long as it does not harm him. They've got to learn somehow!
 
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