[corgimom]

I am considering homeschooling my future children. When I was a child, I was labeled "gifted". As a young child, I loved going to school, but learned to hate it because I was constantly teased for being poor and being a "teachers pet". As I got older, my grades suffered. If I wasn't interested in something, I didn't want to put forth the effort. My fiance is also very bright, but did not do well in school. He didn't want to put forth the effort to work any harder than he had to to get decent grades. He was teased mercilessly for being overweight. We both suffered from the boredom factor. So many times I would finish up before the other kids and then have to sit and wait. And wait. And wait. No wonder I got to the point where I didn't care about doing good and getting good grades.<br><br>
I think there is a good chance that our children will be very bright. I love the idea of homeschooling so that I can tailor the lessons towards their own individual interests and level.<br><br>
But I have a few concerns:<br><br>
1. I am not a social butterfly by any means. I suffer from Social Anxiety. I am on Paxil now and doing much better, but I still don't go out of my way to go to social gatherings. I am worried that it will be difficult for me to put forth the effort to get involved with playgroups/etc so that my children can learn valuable social skills.<br><br>
2. My fiance and I are both worried about our children growing up only learning from one persons viewpoint. One of the great things about public school is that you learn that everyone has a different opinion and that there is one way to look at things.<br><br>
Please be honest. Do you think it sounds like we should consider homeschooling or do you think my children would be best going to Montessori or public school?

 

[lauracd]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>corgimom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7940946"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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2. My fiance and I are both worried about our children growing up only learning from one persons viewpoint. One of the great things about public school is that you learn that everyone has a different opinion and that there is one way to look at things.<br><br>
Please be honest. Do you think it sounds like we should consider homeschooling or do you think my children would be best going to Montessori or public school?</div>
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I have to say that I think school does exactly the opposite. I think it is much more tyrannical and teaches that "one way and one viewpoint" is the only way. Teachers often believe "my way or the highway." I think a parent has a much better chance of teaching true tolerance and exposing children to different view points/different people. I am a shy person too but I found after I had my two boys that I was able to overcome it somewhat FOR them. I make myself talk to other people because I think it is good to connect for my boys. It gets easier the more I do it.<br><br>
And YOU don't have to be a social butterfly for your kids to have friends. If your kid is outgoing and wants friends, he'll find them. Go to a park and let him go and he'll learn all he needs to about negotiating and finding friends.

 

[frogguruami]

Well, posting on the HSing board, you are mostly going to get thumbs up for hsing. So, I will try to address your specific concerns. You and DH are the only ones that can truely decide if HS is right for you!<br><br>
On the social note. Have you considered joining some local online groups? Do a Yahoo search for moms group or homeschooling and your town or area. It could be a good stepping stone for you. You can talk and get to know the members online for a while before meeting them in person. Although I don't have social anxiety, I am not a huge social butterfly. It always seems easier to meet someone in person once I have become acquainted with them online. I, personally, don't think your social network has to be huge. I am a member of several groups but I only see the same 5 parents regularly. And by regularly I mean every other week or so. There is only one mom and her kids that I see weekly. Quality over quantity.<br><br>
Second, there is no reason your children can not learn from other people also. Museums, science centers, zoos, etc. all have classes that the kids can take. Most of them require zero parental involvement so it would also be a good way for the kids to get out and be social without you have to do the same if you felt uncomfortable doing so. You could also ask grandparents or aunts and uncles to teach them something if they have a specific talent. Dance classes, music lessons, language classes...there are tons of opportunities out there for the kids to be exposed to other teaching styles.

 

[mom2ponygirl]

1. I'm not a social butterfly either, but I think my social network has grown with homeschooling. I have several new friends that I socialize with - never happened with parents of kids my daughter went to Montessori with.<br><br>
2. You don't have always have one view point, or even one teacher. You and your partner will have different approaches and priorities. You can arrange co-op type classes with other homeschool moms. Your child can take outside classes in the community for art, music, or sports. Your child can go to writing or math camps, or take online classes if you want. It is amazing how many opportunities you will learn are available.

 

[dharmamama]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>corgimom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7940946"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">1. I am worried that it will be difficult for me to put forth the effort to get involved with playgroups/etc so that my children can learn valuable social skills.</div>
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You don't have to be extremely social for your kids to be part of things. We have some moms in our homeschool group, at my daughter's Spanish class, and at storytime who sit with a book instead of joining in the conversation. At first I thought it was odd, but then I realized that they probably just need some downtime. There are also activities you can take your kids to that you don't have to stay at, especially as your kids get older.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">2. My fiance and I are both worried about our children growing up only learning from one persons viewpoint.</td>
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I don't mean to be snide, but really, I don't see how this could possibly happen. Unless you intend to shield your child from television, radio, the internet, books, and other people, your child will naturally encounter all sorts of varied viewpoints. In fact, I would venture to guess that your child will encounter a wider array of viewpoints from being in "the real world" and choosing his/her own reading/viewing/listening material and friends than a child in a classroom, who is subject the the school district's, state's, and national government's ideas of what is an "appropriate" viewpoint to teach children. I used to edit textbooks and I frequently had conniptions over the viewpoints these textbooks tried to foist on children ... for example, that China "annexed" Tibet and "encouraged" the Tibetans to give up their religion. (No mention of the over 1 million Tibetans, including monks and nuns, slain, or the over 600 monasteries and priceless religious and cultural artifacts obliterated. This one is near and dear to my heart because I am Tibetan Buddhist but there are countless other examples I could give of the truth slaughtered in the name of political correctness.)<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Please be honest. Do you think it sounds like we should consider homeschooling or do you think my children would be best going to Montessori or public school?</td>
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This is a homeschool forum, so I'd imagine that the vast majority (myself included) will urge you to consider homeschooling. I will also say that, if you can afford Montessori, I'd encourage that over public school any day of the century.<br><br>
dm

 

[lilyka]

being socilal enough - you have some options here. co-ops where youare working and don't have to socialize much yourself, park days where you an take it at your pace, do you do ok once you get to know people? if so focus on playdates and such where you don't have to be sopcial but your kids can (specifiy this is a drop off playdate; ask them what they will be doing with thier day off, tell them how excited you are to give them some free time and if they linger too long hurry them off by insisting that you don't want to monopolize all thier free time . . . )<br><br>
opinions - like butt holes everyone has one. you don't have to go to school to find people willing to share. Your kids will learn fast enough that everyone has a way they think things ought to be done.

 

[Nature]

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>corgimom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7940946"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">1. I am not a social butterfly by any means. I suffer from Social Anxiety. I am on Paxil now and doing much better, but I still don't go out of my way to go to social gatherings. I am worried that it will be difficult for me to put forth the effort to get involved with playgroups/etc so that my children can learn valuable social skills.<br></div>
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I suffer from Agoraphobia and Panic Disorder, so I know exactly what you're talking about. The question on if I would be able to be outgoing enough and willing to push myself past my comfort zone so my children could experience social situations.. was very much on my mind when I was deciding whether to homeschool. (or unschool in our case) Its something I think about often, even as we have decided to do it.<br><br>
I don't really have any huge advice in this department.. but know that you aren't alone. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">

 

[lakesuperiormom]

Well, I think whatever choice you end up making will be right for your future children. I was homeschooled and am now homeschooling so obviously I say homeschool. It's better ALL around for your child no matter what you end up teaching them...they'll have YOU and YOUR time and that is important. My son was in a preschool, as we felt he needed socialization to come out of his shell, and quess what..he was still shy and then we started homeschooling and he had me for comfort always with him and eventually he became more social and now he is always making new friends and we are amazed. I would get in contact with your local homeschool group, check out local schools and research homeschooling books and curriculums and see what you think. Good Luck!