[GreenMamma]

<p>Hi Ladies! I am 28 weeks with my 4th babe. My first two were hospital (unmedicated) births, my third a homebirth with a midwife, and while I began care with midwife at 15 weeks, I'm feeling a need to continue on with prenatal care and birth on my own. I have developed a sort of friendship with my midwife, but I know her thoughts on unassisted childbirth and she is strongly opposed. How do I go about discontinuing care without conflict with her? I do have a couple of "in a pickle" issues:</p>
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<p>1) I have paid her just short of 3/4 of her fee already, how do I ask for a portion of that back?</p>
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<p>2) I will be working with her in the beginning of January with a client I have (I'm a birth doula). I know, professionalism will definitely prioritize to personal discomfort of working with her so close to my own due date, but still, you know?</p>
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<p>3) I won't be able to tell her who I am transferring care to (since it will be myself) and that will cause issues with her.</p>
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<p>Some side notes for consideration:</p>
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<p>1) We do not have a contract.</p>
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<p>2) She has pulled a no-call/no-show to three prenatal visits. Two of those times she simply "forgot". (She was fanastic about appts with my last pregnancy/birth and have no idea why she would be just forgetting now.)</p>
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<p>Did anyone else discontinue care later on in pregnancy with a homebirth midwife?</p>

 

[tracymom1]

Okay, I would set up an appointment with her in order to have a face to face discussion. Figure out how many prenatal appointments you have had and how much each one would be pro-rated at and then ask for the difference back. Hopefully you get it - though be prepared for a struggle. IMO, honesty is the best in this case and I would tell her (as I have done in the past with my midwife) that you are going to continue the pregnancy unassisted. There is no need to lie or skirt the issue, is there? My midwife was very understanding, and though I realize that not all would be, I can't see going about it any other way. Bring up the client you share and be very simple but direct - ask her how it will make her feel to continue working with you. Talk it out - you are both just people trying to do your best, right?<br><br>
Good luck with your pregnancy!!<br><br><br><br><br><br>

 

[GreenMamma]

<p>Just thought I'd update -</p>
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<p>   We talked and all went very well. I'm glad we could part ways as client and midwife so peacefully and hopefully we'll be able to maintain our friendship as well.</p>

 

[lia_joy]

<p>Glad that went smoothly!!  It is so frustrating trying to maintain relationships with professionals while planning a UC.  I'm still considering if I want to have a real prenatal appointment with my midwives this time around.  so far I went in to get bloodwork done cause I was concerned about my iron levels, which turned out to be fine, but I'm hesitent to get officially on the books with them because I don't want check-ups or routine tests, I just want back-up care & an established relationship incase something comes up... But I think if I go in they'll insist i have some kind of standard care (6weeks between appts is the best i expect them to offer)</p>