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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
SO I'm not even thinking about getting pregnant again, I have a 3 yo and an 8mo I plan to breastfeed for a LONG time, but I just moved to a new area and we are getting all situated with our new insurance and I have to chose new Dr.s so I was looking into my options. I found the best hosptial "Sutter Davis in Sacramento Area" that has water births with all midwifes, you'd think you were "Ina may's FARM" just nicer facilities. I've heard women say that they'd rather have their baby there then even a home birth it's so wonderful!!!! So I want 1 more and I'd REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY like to have it at that hospital above all else. BUT > > > my hubby's new crappy insurance (of which we have to pay half for me and the kids out of my hubby's salary and we have 1 income!!!) which covers the hospital next door, but of course not that one
I'm soooooooooo dissapointed. So I thought about maybe getting seperate insurance for just me and cancelling mine and seeing if they will continue to pay half of what they were previously paying, but after all that expense, it would be more than a homebirth (about $3000 in my area) which m crappy insurance doesn't cover either. So I'm thinking I might as well go for a homebirth. I had a natural wonderful hospital birth with ds #2 and the only small but negative parts were becuase I was in a hospital ala the 15 minutes I had to be on the montior was really hard and all the hubbub around delievery time though it wasn't bad was enough to get me out of my zone and made pushing really difficult. So obviously I want tomake this last birth the best I can so I don't really want to go to one of those plan 'ol hospitals that my insurance does cover becuase I want the best birth possible.

But in my heart I will still prefer the super wonderful hospital to even a homebirth. Admittedly I don't know a ton about home birth and what makes it so amazing and magical and I want you all to sell it to me! My 2 biggest reason that I don't like homebirth is I would get a TON of flack from close family and friends who I know wouldn't support it and it would be like pulling teeth to get DH sold on the idea for that same reason and for my second whatif . . . reason. I know that in many cases homebirth is actually safer. but at this super dupper amazing hospital I don't think that would be the case. So, please sell me on the idea of homebirth. I think if we did go this route in the future I would just take a vow of silence with a whole group of people inmy life, which suck, but would be a lot easier in the long run. That sucks doesn't it that people I really love would treat me like such an absolute alien and moron for wanting a home birth. And DH would have a harder time dealing with that than even I would.

I know this is a long way off, and things could change, it's just that getting me and DH comfortable with the idea of a homebirth could take a LONG time.

Thanks for any help and advice offered.

Ashley
 

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'Cause who wants to go for a car ride in labor?

Because there's nothing better than getting in your own bed after birth, and snuggling with your brand new baby and the rest of your family.

Because any hospital, no matter how wonderful, has more bacteria and viruses and nasty things than your home, and furthermore, it's bacteria etc that your body (and therefore your baby) doesn't have protections against.

Because there's no EFM.

Because there's not a hospital in the nation with a less than 5% c/sec rate (I'd be shocked to find one at less than 15%), but that's standard for homebirth midwives.

Because the midwives clean up afterward, and usually feed you, too.

Because there's NO chance of your baby EVER getting taken away from you, EVEN for a minute.

Because going out is for dinner, not for birth.
 

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Quote:
Because there's NO chance of your baby EVER getting taken away from you, EVEN for a minute.
That was my main reason for having a homebirth with my second. I've had a hospital birth AND a homebirth and I would choose the homebirth again in a second. I had my baby, no one bothered me, I ate when I was hungry, drank water when I was thirty. No IV to drag around. No one to tell me how to labor. I was comfy in my own house. No internal checks, no one yelling at me to "push push push" I did everything that my body told me and it worked wonderfully! After I had the baby I didnt have to hand her over at all. We sat in the tub and nursed and just stared at each other for over an hour. Then I got up, took a shower in my own bathroom, put my own clothes back on, ate whatever I wanted and hung out with my baby in my bed. It was very peaceful and gentle. I got to actually sleep, no nurses or doctor coming in to check my blood or try to take my baby. The recovery after the homebirth was a world of a difference.......I made cookies the day she was born. LOL
 

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I don't like being told what to do, especially when I'm the star of the show.


And I found that hospitals were really really focused on their routines. I don't like having to get "permission" from some doctor to walk during labor.

At home, it's MY turf, and the people I hire to attend need to get my permission to do things to my body.
 

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Because it's safer for your baby. It's the best gift to be welcomed into the world in a nice and relaxed atmosphere. I am really happy I had a homebirth with my daughter. Her entry into the world was nothing short of magical.

We had to pay A LOT to get a private midwife and we are rather poor at the moment, but we made the sacrifice and it's worth it.

 

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Even the nicest hospital with the crunchiest midwives has to follow whatever their insurance tells them to do.

Even the nicest hospital with the crunchiest midwives is a CESS POOL of germs.

Even the nicest hospital with the crunchiest midwives will have policies that are contrary to a natural birth.

Even the nicest hospital with the crunchiest midwives is a car ride away in labor.

Even the nicest hospital with the crunchiest midwives doesn't have your bed.

Even the nicest hospital with the crunchiest midwives doesn't have your own bathroom.

Even the nicest hospital with the crunchiest midwives doesn't have your pillow and tolietries unless you pack them up.

Even the nicest hospital with the crunchiest midwives you have to get OUT of bed, pack up a sweet little newborn and strap them in a carseat.

-Angela
 

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I also had a really good hospital birth with my son. I have said a hundred times that if women could have the same experience as I did, women would have real choices in childbirth. So, why would I choose a homebirth. My birth with my son was drug free, they had a wonderful tub for me to labor in, I had planned a waterbirth and at the last minute decided I didn't want to do it, I had a wonderful doula and midwife supporting me, and my daughter was allowed in the room. So here's the differences that I saw:

Labor - in the hospital, it was still a clinical experience. I had people coming in and out of the room checking on me. It was still in a hospital and therefore not a relaxing place for me. At home, I labored on my couch for a while. I have this great picture of me on my comfy chair nursing my son in early labor. Later, I moved up to my bedroom. I was so relaxed and peaceful. I actually FELL ASLEEP between contractions during transition. My midwife didn't "control" my labor - she let it happen the way it was supposed to happen. She gave me a few suggestions here and there. Dh was there with my as well as dd - they rubbed my back - I was in my own nightgown. It was peaceful - I didn't feel like I was on display.

Delivery - My daughter was born and immediately she was in my arms and we laid down in my comfortable bed with my husband beside me. When ds was born, I held him for a moment and then they cut his cord and put him on the warmer because he needed oxygen. My dd had meconium in her water (dd1 did as well and HERE is where I saw the greatest difference in hospital vs. homebirth). She was born, we laid in bed - together, and the mw's attended to her. They very gently suctioned her lungs, listened to her lungs, suctioned again, listened - they were incredibly competent about taking care of her, but they did it in such a gentle, respectful manner. This child had just been born peacefully into the world, and they continued to make her transition as peaceful as possible while taking care of her. When dd1 was born, she wasn't even out of me before they were vigorously suctioning her lungs. Once I pushed her out, her cord was immediately cut and a nurse took her to the warmer and very vigorously suctioned her lungs. It was very traumatic for her. I didn't get to hold her for 45 minutes. I am convinced that this experience made bfing more difficult for the both of us at the start - plus she was traumatized. Dd2 was never traumatized. The midwives were so incredibly respectful of her - it was amazing. Dd2 nursed very soon after being born, with the midwives still monitoring her - at some point they gave her something homeopathic for wet lungs (can't remember if it was before or after we nursed). We took a warm herb bath together that was heavenly (her cord was still attached at this point - I really should have taken a picture of dh sitting on the toilet holding the placenta in a plastic bowl - that was pretty funny). We got back in bed, ate three wonderful bowls of potato vegetable soup that my mom had made while I was in labor - nursed again and went to sleep. There were no nurses to poke and prod - no one to ask 100 times when was the last time dd nursed. It was peaceful and amazing. After I had dd and ds (and honestly, the hospital was a really, really good one to birth in - just months before I had dd1 it had been named one of the top 10 hospitals in the country to give birth in), I never really got to relax - someone was always in there - we need to do this, we need to do that - after ds was born (we were only there for a day), nine separate people asked us if he was going to be circumcized! Sheesh. Come on already. The food wasn't that good at the hospital. The homebirth was just an amazing experience. Our entire hospital birth (we had REALLY good insurance) for ds cost us $10 - but the $3000 we paid for our homebirth was so much more worth it. Dh was skeptical at first, and now he is a big homebirth advocate.

Wow, I just prattled on and on, didn't I?
Well, I believe very strongly in homebirth.
 

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Does the really really nice hospital "let" you labor in the water if your water breaks "early"?
Does the really really nice hospital "let" you labor in the water if you're "overdue"?
Does the really really nice hospital "let" you stay in the water and not have repeated vaginal exams?
Does the really really nice hospital "let" you labor in the water if you're "high-risk" for twins, breech presentation, being "overweight", having pregnancy induced anemia, or slightly elevated blood pressure?

The other thing to keep in mind is that your comfort level at home is based on you spending so much time there that you are able to completely relax and just be yourself. Which you won't be able to do with any hospital. (Okay, so Odent and Leboyer did a program where pregnant women came and sang songs and visited each week in a hospital birthing room, but that's not usual.)

Now, for you specifically, you should have a homebirth for your next child so that you can say you've done it at least once.
 

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cuz....

...I hate hospitals
...I don't trust medical professionals
...I don't want medical interventions when they aren't needed
...I'm breastfeeding and don't want anything to hinder that (like routines, know-it-all nurses, stress)
...I want to be comfortable
...I want to do things my way
...did I mention I hate hospitals?
 

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Because - It REALLY is safer at home.

- Hospitals are a cess pool of germs and a haven for medical mistakes.

- Cascade of interventions

- Hospital staff does not respect the natural birthing process

- I will have someone with me the entire time I am in labor, at the hospital (and I have had a hospital birth) the dr may come in to check on you during labor. If you are lucky. But most likely will only be there during pushing...if he gets there at all. My midwife will be there when I call her and will leave not before 3 hours after the birth. I get a continum of care from 1 person. No rotating shifts. No stangers.

- No one coming in the middle of the night to disturb your rest with your baby to take your vitals or ask stupid questions.

- No one to tell you you can't sleep with your baby, and I don't have to share a bathroom. At the hospital I got to share a bathroom with another pp lady and her bloody undies hanging in the shower. Its was lovely.

- At the hospital I wasn't allowed to carry my baby around. She had to be in the bassinet if I wasn't sitting holding her. At home I never have to put my baby down if I don't want to.

- At home, if dh decides to run to the store or restaurant at 7 pm he doesn't have to wait till 9 am the next day to see me again. At the hospital if dh left for the night he couldn't come back till the next day which meant I was all alone all night long.

I get alot of slack for my lifestyle (crunchy) and I just have to take it. Because I do it for my kids. For their safety and well being. I will not change what I do just because someone doesn't like it.
 

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Like ColoradoMama, my second baby and first had similar "trauma" when they were born. Both had their cord wrapped around their necks. First baby was taken from me (though she was fine within moments of birthing) and rushed to the nursery so that they could "test" her. Second baby was handed to me right away and we peacefully nestled into bed. I had to throw a fit in the hospital to even be allowed to see my baby before they were done poking and prodding. I can't even describe the rage I still feel at the nurse's comments to me when I asked that they wait so I could hold her or to please be more gentle. So different from my midwives soft request to weigh and measure baby two.
I loved my soft sheets to snuggle in. I loved never having to go to an appointment because we did all the prenatals at my house. I loved the relationship my primary midwife had with my older kids (I have step kids too) - there is no way that would have happened with a birth center. I loved that total strangers were not coming in to watch while I was too focused on the baby to stop them. I love that no one was trying to pull my legs open durring a contraction to stick their fingers up my koochie. I loved the quiet instead of hearing the woman down the hall scream. I loved my orange/peach/mango juice. I loved not being told to stay away from certain sections of the hospital. I loved being surrounded by my family. I loved my nice hot soak in the tub. I loved doing nothing but sleeping and eating and staring at my beautiful baby for two days after he was here. I loved being encouraged to listen to my body. I loved all of it at home. Even though I too had an interventionless hospital birth, it was so much more stressful and scary. A bithing center may be fine, but I couldn't imagine giving others back the control over my and my baby's experience again unless I absolutely had to.
 

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i love, love, love everyone's replies here! i had a home birth 9 months ago with my first child and am a home birth midwife myself, so i obviously am fully in support of homebirth. but i have to say to the original poster, and i truly mean this in a kind way, you shouldn't need to be "sold" on homebirth. you should go with what is in your heart, what feels right to YOU and your family. whie i do believe that home is the best place to birth your babe for many reasons, i don;'t think it is right for everyone. you have to feel SAFE- physically, emotionally, spiritually- wherever you birth and if there is one iota of doubt in you about having your baby at home it very well may not be the place for you. i used to work at a birth center and i can't tell you how many people would end up transferring to the hospital for "stalled labor" or something like that and what it usually came down to was that they weren't 100% comfortable being out of hospital.
i hope you have the birth you long for in the future-no matter where it may be. but please do what is right for you and not what others feel is right.

jen
 

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I agree with CryPixie for why I would choose homebirth, some women just aren't up for the control trip routinely shoved at us in hospitals which are pretty dirty and conveyer-belt birthing mentality. Of course it's up to the individual woman what sort of birth she chooses to attempt. Hospitals tend to have high intervention rates usually imo for no valid reason other than something to do. Homebirth is on your turf and this can give you much greater control over all those issues than can be stolen from you in hospital. That said I chose uc because I just can't relate to people around me during childbirth, they distract me and infuriate me with their ignorance and wanton abuse of my body and mind.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by LuvMyLittles
I can't even describe the rage I still feel at the nurse's comments to me when I asked that they wait so I could hold her or to please be more gentle.
What is it with hospital staff handling babies so harshly? I've never had a baby in a hospital but every birth I've seen the docs and nurses handle the babies like they're rag dolls
:
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Wow, it was so wonderful to wake up to so many wonderul response this morning. All of your respones made tons of sense as to why homebirth is better. I agree with everything you all said and can see how homebirth would be so much more calm and relaxing and peaceful.

I REALLY appreciated mama2jackn's comment. In makes a lot of sense and I completely agree with your whole point of view, how you really do believe in home birth, but if the woman's heart isn't there it can cause stalled labor. I really do believe the birht is hugely mental and how comfotable you are in your surroundings can make a huge difference.

I guess where I'm at right now is that in my head homebirth sounds like the best option, and given the choice between homebirth and birth in a regular hospital with my current insurance I would absolutely choose homebirth. But it be honest in my heart I still very way more comfortable in this "cadalac" hospital setting then I would in my own home. I think it's becuase I don't trust myself enough to be strong and totally confident with homebirth. Hopefully I can work past that, that's why I'm starting to think about it now becuase it may take me a long time to work through this and decide what I truely want. I'm not sure I will ever get there though, I did a lot of work with hypnotherapy and "birthing from within" with this last birth, and I think it made a HUGE difference in how the birth went but I know I'm still not yet to that point of confidence in homebirth. Hopefully I can make the journey there. Any suggestions for any of you who have stuggled with the homebirth decision on how you worked through it would be greatly appreciated.

And just a side note, probably about 2/3 of the negative things said about hospitals which are very true, I don't believe would be true at this hospital, it really is that great. Here's a link:

http://www.sutterdavis.org/services/...rthingcen.html

One of the things I did notice inthe tour the birth rooms part is that they said "this particular room offers a tub for water births" so perhaps this option isn't in every room and what happens if the hospital gets too full and I can't get one of those rooms and also it is a 35-40 minute drive away from me.

Ashley
 

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Jen - I agree with you that homebirth isn't for everyone, and as I told my gimme-epidural-NOW SIL, the safest place to give birth is wherever the woman feels safest and most relaxed. However, shouldn't it work the other way, too? That is, if there's even the smallest doubt or worry about being in a hospital, then you should stay home? Ideally there's no doubt, there's a feeling of complete safety and confidence, but how many women in this culture feel that ANYWHERE in birth? We're taught to be afraid of being without high technology, we're taught to be afraid of being around high technology, we're taught to be afraid of BIRTH, no matter where it takes place. I'm fully confident in my decision to birth at home, but it took me YEARS to get this way. If I had gotten pregnant when I was first thinking about it, I'd be planning on a birth center, at best, and I probably wouldn't be feeling very confident about the decision (parts of me would be saying I should be in the hospital, parts saying I should be at home, etc).

So I know the standard line is "if you don't feel comfortable at home, you shouldn't be at home", and I know why that is, but I also wish we could turn it around (like saying "formula isn't as good" instead of "breast is best" - language is powerful) to "if you don't feel comfortable at the hospital, you shouldn't be at the hospital". A woman should birth where she feels MOST safe, and MOST comfortable, even if she doesn't feel PERFECTLY safe or PERFECTLY comfortable, because perfection basically is impossible, and banishing all fear of birth is almost unheard of in this society.
 

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Ashley - we crossposted, and said many of the same things.
I'm glad you're opening yourself up to the option of homebirth, and I hope and trust that whatever decision you make will be right for you.

I'd encourage you to find out the c/sec rate at the hospital, and to talk to other natural childbirth women who have given birth there. It does look like a good hospital, but no hospital is perfect, and I'd hate for you to go in with unrealistic expectations. Women generally have a better experience in the hospital when they KNOW what difficulties they're likely to encounter and how they can best deal with them.
 

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Hospital births are not safer, so why go to one? They are for the sick! Go to a hospital, you'll be treated like a sick person....up to the point of mentally retarded
:

At birth you are in your most vulnerable state ever. I have the strong need to protect this as much as I can. My house, my castle, my rules...simple. Being on your turf, in familiar surroundings makes a huge emotional difference I believe. And no hospital bugs,either


....plus, really, who wants to sit in a car during labour and go through the hospital prep?
:
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Arwyn

Thanks somuch for your post. I really liked what you said about birthing where we feel most safe, rather than not doing something becuase we don't feel perfectly safe about it. that was a great point. To be honest I don't feel perfectly safe about a hospital birth either.

So it tool you a long time to get comfortable with the idea, what sort of things helped you get to the point where you were confident enough to have home birth. I'd love to hear more about your personal journey to the homebirth world


At least I know my parents will be fully supportive. The are currently living inZimbabwe till April running an AIDS orphanage so they fully understand that people do things differently all over the world and that's okay. My mom said much of the same thing I am going through. She had a natural hospital birth with my older brother then a leboyer birth center birth with me, and had she had a 3rd child, she says it would have been a homebirth with midwives. Go mom. i really hope they will be in my part of the country in a few years becuase they are the most supportive, easy going, spiritual people and THAT is what I need. I also just joined a crunchy, VERY well established playgroup in my area so surrounding my self with supportive people where I can learn their stories will be good. My play group even offers home birth classes, Birthing from within classes, and hypnotherapy at low cost!!!!! I will definentally be using that when the time comes.

What are your favorite home birth books?

I read Ina May Gaskin's giude to child birth which was my favorite. and I sort of read birthing from within, any others?

Thanks again for all sharing your thoughts with me, I really appreciate it!

Ashley
 

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Because they'll "let" you do whatever you want at home!
 
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