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My husband and I recently decided to file for divorce. We have 3 children, ages 6, 5, and 2. Stbx has a tendency to show the children movies which, IMO, are completely inappropriate for them. For instance, today he rented them Spiderman 2 & Superman Returns, both of which are PG-13 & quite violent. When I expressed concern, he just sneered at me & said "What are you going to do? Leave me?" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead"><br><br>
So...my question is, can I put something in the divorce agreement about him not showing them PG-13 movies until they are a certain age? It doesn't seem unreasonable to me, but stbx isn't always reasonable. I've tried talking it out with him and telling him that there is NO compelling reason for them to watch violent movies at this age, but he said that he doesn't have to have a reason--he just wants to <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shake.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shake">
 

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sounds like mine <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> He showed them the xfiles last year, when they were 4 and 7.<br><br>
I don't know for sure, but I don't think there's anything you can do about that. sorry you have to deal with this, too.
 

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My DD and her dad watched Nip/Tuck as a Tuesday (i think?) night ritual. Unfortunately there was nothing I could do about it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:
 

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You can put anything you want in the agreement, but frankly if he ignores it and shows them PG or R movies, the courts aren't going to give a hoot. And he probably will ignore it.
 

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Is this really something that you want to put that much importance on in your agreement?<br><br>
Why not just try to get extra child support or alimony - something that he can't just ignore. Also, this could be a dealbreaker for him and he could try to get something you really want taken out of an agreement in order for you to get this item in.<br><br>
I'd focus on more important things. You can't control him once you are separated - there's a line in most agreements about that - failure to get medical treatment is one thing, but failure to show age appropriate movies (unless we're talking porn) is another.<br><br>
From someone who's spent some serious time writing divorce agreements for clients.<br><br>
Liz
 

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yep sadly I can't even stop dh from smoking around the kids when they are sick... movies sigh..how about mcdonalds for every meal? My lawyer asked if I wanted to put any clauses about dh highly disfunctional family...I said no not worth it really I just have to counterbalance the crap he's going to do.<br>
So I am giving my stbx all the videos, the video games, the tv's, they can watch that crap at his place and my house will be electronic crap free.<br>
I'll get one small tv and leave it at that.<br><br>
but what about violent movies? my stbx was arrested for assaulting me I think having a 2 and 5 year old watch violence on tv when they have seen it at home is damaging but I am no divorce lawyer....and I think you got to pick your battles hence save it for medical stuff so if your kid develops an allergy they aren't sent home with peanut butter candies...
 

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For me divorce has been a lesson in letting go - I worked so hard for the first 3 years of thier life - limited tv, good food, lots of sleep... Then when thier dad came back from Afghanistan - they've been introduced to everything. Now 3 years later, they have TV's in their rooms, unlimited video games, junk food...<br><br>
They know how I feel about all of it - they know that there are different rules at both houses. I'm probably more of a tv nazi then I would be if I felt there was balance at his house.<br><br>
This stuff is unenforceable. I'm happy that he's a good dad and loves the kids. The differences actually help to bring up good conversations about why I don't value those things.<br><br>
Good luck - I know it's hard to let go. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Ugh. That's what I figured <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Thanks for letting me know
 

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Try not to worry too much -- the mama-kid conversations really do happen, IME. We already have conversations about the differences in the rules at the two households, and while there's a lot of "Daddy makes the rules at his house," there's the talk about the ideas behind the rules here. If dd decides she doesn't want to do something at Daddy's house, we talk about how she could say so, and what solutions there are. I think in the end what you get is an understanding that the rules really are the rules, but the values behind them come out really clearly, and that's going to be what drives the way they live as adults.
 

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My lawyer told me that you can put anything you want in the agreement like that too, but that it is basically just an agreement that works as long as both parties follow it...there isn't anything that they can do to enforce it :-(
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bixby</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7982921"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My lawyer told me that you can put anything you want in the agreement like that too, but that it is basically just an agreement that works as long as both parties follow it...there isn't anything that they can do to enforce it :-(</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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My x does that too. He has games for the playstation that are rated M. He lets them watch R rated movies. It makes me crazy. But I can't do anything about it. It makes for some pretty hefty arguments here at this house. When we go to rent a movie for the family, and I want to get Old Yeller, I sure get out voted when my 10yo wants Blood Diamond. What can I do? Nothing.
 
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