[doula and mom]

I want to do a UC (someday). However. The more books I read to further my education about birth, the more I get worried about all those highly-unlikely complications and think I would be nuts to want to birth without a midwife. Anyone else have these feelings? Suggestions?

 

[Rockies5]

maybe you're confusing knowledge with wisdom?

UC is about listening your your body, baby and spirit and birthing by following instinct.

Have you ever read a UC birthstory where the women says "well the baby seems to be in this position (or I noticed this variation of normal) and since I had read x information in x text I diod x and all was well"

You might be assuming that birthing alone means you midwife yourself? I can totally see where you are comming from and am constantly checking myself and my goals to see if/how I've changed or been influenced by working so closely with Medicine and asking myself it it's been a good change or not.

It's interesting that you already know what your "dream birth" would be like and dreams do change as we grow, experience and age. Who knows what it will be like for you.

There was a disussion similar to this just a few weeks back...titled something like "UC and the Birth porfessional" that you may find interesting.

The more I learn and read the more I wish we were still having babies so I could have MORE UCs!! I mention mine whenever possible and encourage women and couples to find whatever suits them for their own "style" of birthing. As long as you really understand the benfits and risks of each!

 

[Rockies5]

Suggestions? Mix some UC birthstories into whatever else you're reading.
and goodluck.

 

[Arwyn]

The more I learn about midwifery and birth, the closer to wanting a UC I get.

I'm using a midwife this time, or at least planning on it, but only because I'm in an area I'm sure I can find a very hands-off, birth-trusting midwife. If I were faced with a choice between UC and an overly-hands-on, not trusting midwife... Knowing what I know about birth, I might have someone on call as backup, but I'd probably go UC. I'm glad I don't have to choose, though.

 

[pamamidwife]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockies5 maybe you're confusing knowledge with wisdom? UC is about listening your your body, baby and spirit and birthing by following instinct. Have you ever read a UC birthstory where the women says "well the baby seems to be in this position (or I noticed this variation of normal) and since I had read x information in x text I diod x and all was well" You might be assuming that birthing alone means you midwife yourself? I can totally see where you are comming from and am constantly checking myself and my goals to see if/how I've changed or been influenced by working so closely with Medicine and asking myself it it's been a good change or not. It's interesting that you already know what your "dream birth" would be like and dreams do change as we grow, experience and age. Who knows what it will be like for you. There was a disussion similar to this just a few weeks back...titled something like "UC and the Birth porfessional" that you may find interesting. The more I learn and read the more I wish we were still having babies so I could have MORE UCs!! I mention mine whenever possible and encourage women and couples to find whatever suits them for their own "style" of birthing. As long as you really understand the benfits and risks of each!

this is so well put.

I think "midwifing yourself" is a wrong state of mind. UC is about listening to your body and your baby, not necessarily being your own midwife. It's about being a mother.

If I could do it again, I'd definitely do it alone. I might have my older daughter present, but I wouldn't have anyone else. I would need that solitude to keep myself focused within and my brain out of the work.

 

[BirthFree]

Ay, I agree with Rockies5. And with knowledge comes responsibility... but to me that is not a bad thing. I think the current birth culture does not take enough responsibility for their births (be it that they let someone else make their choices for them b/c they did not educate or empower themselves, or because they decided to do such-and-such-intervention or *not* do such-and-such-intervention, etc.). The majority of the population (at least in the US) hires people to be their providers - but they are... people. As able and likely to make mistakes as any of us. I don't know if that makes sense but I feel that in the past I let someone else make this choice and that choice for me in my births and then I was upset with some of what happened... but that's not really fair (I think) of me.

SO, for that reason and that I feel in my soul that this baby is meant to be born unassisted, we have changed our birth plans to UC/UP. I don't think I would have been prepared to UC from the start though (some people are though) - but rather life has brought us to this place. So don't put too much pressure on yourself... follow your heart, soul and baby and you will make a good choice.
~Julie

 

[BelgianSheepDog]

I couldn't, as a matter of temperament. I function best with quiet and competent support people, when I have a major task to perform. If we can accept some women just need to birth alone, I don't see why we can't accept that there are people like me--and that we're not somehow less politically correct, either.

 

[JanetF]

I had a freebirth a month ago and there was a little part of me observing and noticing things "Oh that was a catch in my throat at the end of that cx." "Oh that's a bit burny" "Oh those cx are Looooooooooooong!" but mostly I was just concerned with birthing through a long and intense labour. I didn't actually think much while it was happening about possible problems although with a 50-something hour labour there was time now and then to say to my doula "Is this baby high, ya reckon?" or "Sheesh aren't second labours meant to be SHORTER???" I never really thought about UR (I had a c-sec last time) although it popped through my head once or twice but only to see if I was thinking about it IYKWIM. Like probing a sore spot to see if it's hurting? It's going to be an individual thing, I think.

 

[Arwyn]

I'm a huge supporter of UC, BSD, but I also love midwives (and want to be one!). I absolutely think that UC is the best/only way to go for some women, and that midwives have so much to learn from UC, but it's not in some absolute sense "the best" or the "the only" way to birth for all women, in my opinion. The only flaw I see in the freebirth community, which when I'm being honest I see in the homebirth/midwife community too, is to make exagerated generalizations about how their way is best for everyone, with the implication that there's something "wrong" or "lesser" about people who choose a different path. I don't think we have the statistical numbers about UC to make the same argument midwifery supporters do, saying "yes, but this actually is safer than hospital birth for the vast majority of births!" but then UC isn't about stats and numbers and odds for most people I've talked to. It's about trust, and protecting and celebrating the sacred, intimate, and private act of birth, and because I believe in all those things, and that the very act of trusting makes birth safer, I'm willing to bet that women who want to UC are acting in their and their babies' best interest in terms of "stats" and safety. But unless and until I see those stats that say UC is even better in terms of outcome than midwifery-attended birth, I'm not willing to say it's "better" in an absolute sense - better for some women, better in terms of both creating and resulting from deep birth and body trust, but there will ALWAYS be women who want their partners around, who want midwives around, who want their whole family around, who want high technology around. And that's ok. There doesn't have to be one way for everyone - not all choices are equal in terms of safety or outcome or the subjective experience, but there are many, many valid, safe options, and they should all be supported and the differences celebrated.

In my always humble opinion.

 

[Kidzaplenty]

:

 

[amyjeans]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BelgianSheepDog I couldn't, as a matter of temperament. I function best with quiet and competent support people, when I have a major task to perform. If we can accept some women just need to birth alone, I don't see why we can't accept that there are people like me--and that we're not somehow less politically correct, either.

And a person like you is why we need midwives and doulas- there is no lack of strength or confidence here, but some people desire the comfort, if not companionship of other women when experiencing something so wonderful as birth.
(me personally- I don't know any other women in my life I could tollerate being around while laboring

~with the acception of mamas here)

 

[loved]

Yes, I could.

Would I? Don't know. I think I'd just let my heart decide.
On the one hand, i really do like having people around - other women, the love and caring, (plus nice strong back pressure!).
On the other, I really, really like my privacy.

 

[BelgianSheepDog]

And from purely a technical perspective, if I had not had midwives at my birth, I would have had to go to the hospital. Things occurred that they were trained and equipped to handle that I simply could not have handled myself. As someone who pretty much hates hospitals more than any other kind of place, having skilled midwives around was a better way to avoid transferring than just "going it alone." And man, I would have been SUCH a testimony for the homebirth community, bleeding profusely, with a stubborn placenta and a baby who kept turning color! Yeah, brother, that would sell people on the idea, no doubt!

I feel like there is an American independence macho vibe around the UC threads here and it bothers me. It's not bad to admit you need help. Not bad at all. ANd not a disability or a weakness.

 

[amyjeans]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BelgianSheepDog I feel like there is an American independence macho vibe around the UC threads here and it bothers me. It's not bad to admit you need help. Not bad at all. ANd not a disability or a weakness.

I hope you don't feel that way from my post. not my intent. Sorry you get that vibe.

 

[teachinmaof3]

Yes I could and have.

 

[mtn. mama]

For myself, yes I could and for the most part did with my last baby #4.
My midwives pulled into the driveway as I was pushing and she made her arrival as they got to me.

And yes, experience totally plays into this. I never even thought of this as a comfortable option way back during pregnancy #1. But several experiences later I totally found my comfort level and needs changed drastically.

I totally respect the birth choices of other women. As a doula, I am always being reminded that it is not my birth.

However, in my childbirth classes I do show footage of hb and uc so I can present a different birth perspective with them that they might not come across on their own. I feel that it is a good format to share and avoids coming across as a birth radical, which can obviously turn people off, like the earlier reference to the "macho" attitude experienced by others.

Hey, if I ever decide on a baby #5 I'll keep ya updated.