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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This one was more interesting for sure....SO originally agreed to counseling so an educated person could tell me how eff'd up I am....and the counselor said, SO, I think you are trying to make MoM into a different person, change her personality, etc.<br>
You cannot make MoM into someone else, our personalities are what they are. It also sounds like SO is very angry that MoM doesn't fit into the mold you have in your mind. It also seems that you are being demeaning towards MoM because she does not fit your idea of wife/mother.<br>
We discussed adult industry which I said I would not ever do again if it was a choice between 'easy' work and my family.<br>
We talked about why I don't want to hang out with some of his friends (the ones who talk bad about me....who don't have kids)....and SO says, she doesn't have many friends (it's very easy to be my aquaintence, not so easy to be my friend, I only have a handful) and she has no hobbies, etc etc. Counselor tells SO that perhaps I have hobbies he doesn't think of as hobbies (ie, reading, cooking)....<br>
I was trying to hold it together but I fell apart. I don't want to lose SO, but June Cleaver I am not....kwim?<br>
SO acutally dumped me the other night (for about an hour)....but that's a whole other post...<br>
He also called me today and said how impressed he was with the house....which made me feel really good. I am trying, I really am.<br>
I do however wish he would ASK me to do things instead of TELLING me what to do as if I am a child.....anyway, there's that....<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
It sounds like you guys are actually accomplishing a lot for only your second session.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I am really trying my best to please SO and not lose myself in the process....because *I* will eventually come back from being lost and that is not a good thing <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/FIREdevil.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="devil">
 

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You're really diving into a lot for it being the second session! Good for you, and remember to keep an eye on why you're doing this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I found that sometimes therapy would be *so* rough that I'd feel as if things would never get better, that we'd just keep digging up new hurtful thoughs, newly discovered baggage, and new problems for weeks and months and years on end. UGH.<br><br>
It does get better, but it's a rough ride sometimes. Bravo to you for sticking with it and giving it all (therapy, compromise, staying true to yourself) your best effort.
 

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I think this is wonderful for you guys. It will be really hard for a while, and I'm sure someone's already said this, but it'll probably get worse before it gets better....<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Marriage is give and take. It is nice to see you're willing to make some changes and stand firm on the others. Good luck and keep us updated.
 
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