Cousins baby in NICU (Update)

1023 Views 15 Replies 9 Participants Last post by Emilie, Apr 11, 2006

Isis

Discussion Starter · Apr 10, 2006

Mods: I have no idea where this would best belong, so please move as needed.

My cousin just had her baby this afternoon. He's a few weeks early but came out 7 lbs, 7 ounces. He had some respiratory problems (they aren't sure why but it breathing is fast... they said either undeveloped lungs or he swallowed some fluid). Anyways, they're telling the parents that he won't be home for at least 10 days and won't let them even touch him. They said that if he's touched, he'll breath faster.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has gone through this? I would think that the baby if layed upon the mothers chest, may pick up her breathing rhythm.

I'm just really frustrated because they are doing treatments but not really telling them much more, other than they'll check him again, tomorrow. My cousin is beside herself and REALLY wanted to breastfeed. I told her to pump but I think she's too out of it to really understand that when he gets out of there, her bm will really help heal him. I'm too pushy, so I'm trying not to get too involved. I'm just really upset for her. She went through labor all natural, really wanted to breastfeed (after not being able to with her 1st). I don't want to call her again and push it. I guess I just am frustrated!

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GoodWillHunter

· #2 · Apr 10, 2006

They are wrong. My twins, and my youngest child were NICU babes. And I practiced kangaroo care with all of them. I noted that all of my children breathed more regular, their oxygen saturization was better, their heart rates didn't dip, etc etc etc.

Your cousin needs to gather her strength and stand up for her baby. I did with my last and told them he needed me and I needed him.

And to get me a nurse that understood that.

They did.

Hang in there... and give your cousin my thoughts and my love.

Free Thinker

· #3 · Apr 10, 2006

I agree, a friend of mine went thru this (I think there was a bubble that burst in his lung or something? It healed quickly, but not before a traumatic hospital stay, and nursing delays). Please tell her to stand up for herself,a nd get in touch w/ the patient advocate at the hospital.

Hope everything works out!

babycarrier

· #4 · Apr 10, 2006

We had a weeklong stay with respiratory issues and I found I had to keep advocating for my son with each new shift of nurses. There were some times that it was easiest for me to just hang back and wait for the next shift to keep things smooth.
there is a wonderful article in this month's mothering on kangaroo care in the NICU you could show her

Isis

Discussion Starter · #5 · Apr 10, 2006

Ok, so I just got to speak with her again and what I got from her was that they could touch him but couldn't hold him b/c he had a cone around his entire head pumping oxygen into him... not sure if that is really a valid reason or not... I'm not there so I don't know.
She did request a breast pump and that the LC will come meet with her in the AM. She's really upset so I couldn't get much more than that from her.

babycarrier

· #6 · Apr 10, 2006

I know it is not what you asked about, but i wanted to add that the stress of caring for an infant in the NICU is overwhelming. I had supportive family and i still felt pretty alone through it all. Are you close by? Are you able to bring her some food or maybe something comfortable if she is staying there? Big comfy pillow from home? mother's milk tea?
best wishes to your family at this delicate time

Lousli

· #7 · Apr 10, 2006

Good for her for pumping! She can breastfeed after pumping, and meeting with an LC will make it easier for her to learn how. I agree that she should stand up for herself and her son, but since you are only hearing this second-hand, there may be more to the reasons why she can hold him yet. My daughter, for instance, needed to be under bili lights for her jaundice and they wanted to limit her time out of the lights. He might not be really stable yet if she just had him and they are still trying to figure out what is wrong to cause him to breathe like that. Hopefully she will be able to hold him soon. I wasn't able to hold my daughter for over 24 hours after her birth, but they did let me after that. Your cousin is understandably exhausted and emotional right now. Maybe her husband or another family advocate can get more and clearer answers for everyone?

Isis

Discussion Starter · #8 · Apr 11, 2006

2

A little update:

Baby boy is the same which the Drs think is positive... they thought he would get worse before better. They're now thinking RSV is a possiblity but they're not sure. They still have no contact with him... not even by voice!

They said when he hears his mom's voice, he gets agitated and it takes longer for his breathing to settle.

I'm so sad for my cousin! This is terrible.

She met with the lactation consultant who said to pump every 2 hours and supplement with Fennugreek and Mothers Thistle. She said that this is really hard for her because sometimes, theres nothing a LC can do for you. THe LC is concerned about her milk production but she's willing to work with her to do all she can do.

If you can keep the little one in your thoughts, ,that would be awesome. His name is Noah!

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babycarrier

· #9 · Apr 11, 2006

thinking of noah. it is really hard when you feel that you can't have contact. i had almost no contact for the first 24 hours and then i parked myself next to hisbed and wouldn't leave. they couldn't ignore me and eventually included me more and more.
i'm not a doctor so i don't know but i had to believe that they were doing something good for him with all those tubes and oxygen. i found in nicu that they make the decisions and i had little power, maybe i would have had more if i were better informed but i could barely stand up and breathing and swallowing took energy at that point.
my babe is now a very attached little guy. he is a momma's boy and noone soothes him like i do.
one thing i found comforting was thinking of how much in a blur or fog it feels when i am really sick. i was on respirators once for a couple of days and have no memory of that time. i do remember the people that were there for me when i was able to breathe on my own. i hope this is how it works for our babes.
thinking of noah.....and hugs for the weight that is in your heart momma

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Isis

Discussion Starter · #10 · Apr 11, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by farmlife
thinking of noah. it is really hard when you feel that you can't have contact. i had almost no contact for the first 24 hours and then i parked myself next to hisbed and wouldn't leave. they couldn't ignore me and eventually included me more and more.
i'm not a doctor so i don't know but i had to believe that they were doing something good for him with all those tubes and oxygen. i found in nicu that they make the decisions and i had little power, maybe i would have had more if i were better informed but i could barely stand up and breathing and swallowing took energy at that point.
my babe is now a very attached little guy. he is a momma's boy and noone soothes him like i do.
one thing i found comforting was thinking of how much in a blur or fog it feels when i am really sick. i was on respirators once for a couple of days and have no memory of that time. i do remember the people that were there for me when i was able to breathe on my own. i hope this is how it works for our babes.
thinking of noah.....and hugs for the weight that is in your heart momma

Thank you for that. You're so very kind. I'm going to pass on these words of wisdom for my cousin. She's been VERY worried about him bonding to her!

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Lousli

· #11 · Apr 11, 2006

My daughter was in NICU for 23 days. It was 26 hours before i was able to see her the first time. She was tube fed at first, and it took 3 months for her to learn to successfully breastfeed. She is a super duper attached mama's girl now (much more so than my 4 year old was, and she came home from the hospital right away). birth bonding is awesome, but sometimes it isn't possible. Her precious son will bond with his mama anyway, even though they are going through this hard time now.

babycarrier

· #12 · Apr 11, 2006

Pumping really was a key for us also. Our babe got formula because they insisted on measured feeds based on weight and my milk wasn't in. I pumped and pumped. and sometimes i slacked because i felt like the world had swallowed me up in there.
7.5 months later we are exclusively breastfeeding and have been since about 6 weeks. breathing takes so much energy and eating can be hard for the babies. i hated holding a bottle to him but if it took some of the stress off of his body, i would do it. also, a SNS (supplemental nursing system) by medela was invaluable to us. many of the nurses didn't know how to use it but worked with me to learn how. again, just passing this on for support as i know some of my biggest fears - well, past the life and death aspect and the not knowing from minute to minute what was going on - was the ability to bond and breastfeed.
there is a long thread with nicu info over in birth and beyond.

s momma

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JesiLynne

· #13 · Apr 11, 2006

and prayers

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sweetpeasmom

· #14 · Apr 11, 2006

for the momma and baby. I really know nothing about that condition, sorry.

But i can say, my baby was in the NICU for 102 days. I wasn't able to hold her for 3 weeks. I pumped the whole time, bf was hard but eventually she got the hang of it 6 mths after we got home. She's still bf and loves it and believe me she is a big time mommies girl, VERY ATTACHED!!! without a doubt

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annakiss

· #15 · Apr 11, 2006

Moved to Birth and beyond...

Emilie

· #16 · Apr 11, 2006

thinking of your family and baby noah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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