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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I know we have a couple of Muslim mamas that wear hijab and think we may also have some Christian mamas who wear a head covering. I am soon to begin wearing one and frankly am very nervous. Women who cover do so partly so they are seperate from the world and that can be scary...because you are so noticeabley different. How do you mamas deal with stares, comments, etc. Do you cover at home as well, or just in public. What about dress, Do you wear skirts? or also pants? do you make or buy and where if you do so? Thanks
 

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i'm here<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> i had to click on this when i saw the title <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
i started covering 4 years ago--now i wear a long headscarf past my waist and a long overgarment (similar to a very loose dress), underneath i wear whatever i want.<br><br>
I dont cover at home or with my girlfriends, i cover fully when i'm out or in the presence of non-related males (we can uncover --stilldressmodestlythough--in front of dad, brothers, uncles, grandpas, fatherinlaw)<br><br>
the thought of starting to wear hijab was a lot scarier than actually doing it. i played a million scenarios in my head but in the end i just did it. It is a command from God, what am i afraid of?<br><br>
that said, the first day i told my mom i wanted to go to the bank, mall, library, school etc, i went everywhere that day just to get used to the idea and after that it was a breeze...<br><br>
i only wish i'd done it sooner <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
HTH<br><br>
oh abt dress, underneath my overgarment i wear pants or skirts and at home with dh , anything goes.<br><br>
edited to answer another question:<br>
i handle stares, comments (i get lots) mostly by ignoring, but if someone asks i always explain why, where etc<br>
when i was working i got lots of questions-some just rude like in the dead of winter a guy says 'you must not be used to this weather huh?' i was like 'why not, i'm just as cold as u are' and he says 'well u know, being from the middle east and all ur probably used to the heat' <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes"> i told him "i wouldnt know , i was born and raised here" he was both shocked and confused.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch">lol
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>neveryoumindthere</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">"i wouldnt know , i was born and raised here" he was both shocked and confused.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch">lol</div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/biglaugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="laugh">: Good one!
 

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Covered Mama here!<br><br>
I wear hijab (the smaller triagular ones - I think they're referred to as Turkish scarves??) and long sleeves and pants -mostly. Sometimes I wear an abaya, or a jilbob, or a jillaba. Whatever strikes my fancy.<br><br>
I'm very active in hijab, going to the gym and hiking and such.<br><br>
It's starting to get quite warm here in Texas, so I'm getting ready to steel myself against 100 degree weather. It doesn't bother me soo much, just makes me sweat like crazy!<br><br>
Take care sisters!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks so much for replying <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I know my worries are aordly and not Godly but still am nervous. I am most thinking I will be mistaken as Amish LOL! Like where is my buggy?? And really even if someone did ask, I could educate. I am concerned though that people will feel less able to approach/ talk to me, but I guess I will be as approachable as I am outgoing. Thanks for letting me talk about some of this.
 

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I cover my head in public, mostly with a bandana, and I wear long skirts and long sleeves. I find that people usually assume I'm Jewish, which is odd because an observant Jewish woman would fully cover her hair, and mine is always coming out the sides and back. I occasionally get people asking ¿Eres cristiana? and when I say yes, I'm Catholic, they're like, NO, are you CHRISTIAN? which I think is hilarious.<br><br>
The most negative reactions I've gotten have been from medical staff and school employees, some of whom have given me a really nasty vibe and treated me like I must be a complete idiot.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wave.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wave"><br><br>
Jewish hair-coverer here. Usually wear <a href="http://champashop.safeshopper.com/104/cat104.htm?721" target="_blank">tams</a> or <a href="http://www.tznius.com/cgi-bin/tying.pl" target="_blank">scarves</a> ... with the occasional hat/scarf combo thrown in (beret-type thing with a scarf around it to keep it on ... helpful in windy weather). Scarves are how I started with it, but since the kids came along, it's sometimes difficult ... if a toddler pulls off a scarf it can be a project to deal with the toddler and put the scarf back on ... so tams usually win it for me nowadays, for simple ease of use. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> And bobby pins help, too ...<br><br>
urklemama, some Jewish women let the front & sides show ... some because they don't cover all (sometimes derisively called "the beret and bangs look") and some because, well, it slides. Some authorities in Jewish law permit an inch or so in the front to show, along with the unruly wispy stuff at the temples that just won't stay where you want it to ...<br><br>
When I started covering the biggest difficulty was at work. Some folks there were just confused and asked politely, others were just rude (like the one jerk who decided it was funny to call me "Sister Theresa" all the time. Not sure what his point was, but ... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">)<br><br>
Wear longish sleeves and long skirts at all times, and the head covering is on at all times when out, and when there are men-not-my-husband in my home. (Though I don't cover if the men in question are my father or brothers.) And my family actually had a tough time of it, too, when I started covering my head ... my mother was offended, my father & brothers just confused. They all got over it. Well, correction. My mother's still offended, but now she keeps it to herself.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
The stares, etc., don't bother me in the least. If someone's staring is being obnoxious, though, like jaw-dropping or elbowing their friends and ... YKWIM ... I'll generally do something like wink&smile back. Generally that makes them look away, embarrasses them, it seems ...
 

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Thanks, merpk. I'm in San Francisco and the frum women I see have their hair completely covered, so I assumed that was how everyone did it.
 

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ooooh! I love the tams ...... trying to find a way to incorperate a tam into Islamic dress<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
btw, I forgot to mention in my other post. I always cover when going out, and indoors if I'm around men who aren't mahram (mahram = men who you can't marry, like my brother and father and young boys).<br><br>
I don't notice the stares so much. Every once in a while someone will ask something silly like "your english is great - did you grow up here?" or say something rude like "go back to where you came from". I love the last phrase. My family history goes back 5 generations in Texas. So chances are I am home, and the other person is the interloper :nana:
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Just a clarification, for personal reasons ... I *do* cover completely. Was just pointing out that some women do not, ie., the aforementioned "berets&bangs" or hats-wearers.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
SO I went online and ordered some covers last night. i got the small pointed headscarves, look like a handkerchief. I can wear my hair up or down in it. What is the reason for covering in front of some men and not the closest ones to you?? I know we are all from different religous backgrounds, but what I have learned of Christian belief is that we are to cover when we pray and pray unceasingly....so cover all the time. I fact I was at a horse and buggy Mennonite birth yesterday where the mom was pushing in her cover, it was slipping off and she was about to get jabbed with a pin, so someone took it off. So do you cover for modesty reasons? Just curious as to the other beliefs <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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I, as a Muslim, cover for several reasons.<br>
*First (and foremost <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> ) b/c I believe Allah (swt) declared hijab (covering) to be fard (obligitory) for Muslim women.<br>
*I cover when performing salat (which is the 'ritualized' prayer - the one we do at least 5 times a day). But Muslim women do not have to cover when making dua (which is supplication, or asking Allah (swt) for something) or when making dhiker (which, roughly translated, is remembering Allah (swt) by saying/thinking things like hmduallah (thank Gd), bismillah (in the name of Gd), subhanallah (glory be to Gd) etc). Muslims should constantly perform dhiker. So basically as a Muslim I perform 3 different kinds of prayer, but only one prayer requires my covering.<br>
* I also cover to be modest and reduce/nullify sexual tension between myself and men. So I cover in front of men whom I could potentially marry. If there is a taboo against marrying a particular man, I don't have to cover in front of him. This includes my dad, my brother, little boys......you get the picture <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Does that help clarify? Let me know if you have any questions!<br><br>
btw, I didn't cover while giving birth. But I did cover when walking from labor to post partum. I believe (although there are those who will disagree) that Islam is a religion of common sense, and not a religion that imposes hardships. So I follow hijeb using the Quran and Sunnah and what common sense would dictate. For example, if a tornado (Gd forbid) were to suddenly sstrike my home, I would not waste time trying to find my hijeb. I would grab my baby and head for the downstairs apartment!
 

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Thanks ladies for this thread. The only thing I always cover for is when I do Salat prayers. When I was in Morocco three different times I covered too.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
OK ladies so the covers I bought are finally here and now I just need to do it! Deep breaths <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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i am also jewish (although i do not <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/transtichel.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="tichel">: --yet). many of my friends/extended family do <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/transtichel.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="tichel">: they're all very strict about no hair showing. i've seen those hat/scarf mamas merpk mentioned at shul before, usually going to/leaving machitza (separate seating) at a conservative/traditional shul. my friends/fam also wear long sleeves and long skirts always, although a few also wear long pants, some leave their heads uncovered around family at home but most don't (for simplicity they just leave it on all the time). alot let their hair hang down in the <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/transtichel.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="tichel">: so they are covered but don't have to do the hair-bun thing. i can't describe the exact wrap a friend on mine does, but it's similar to the way women often wrap dreads- it's tight and it covers everything but her little ones can't pull it off.....<br><br>
peace<br>
h*mama
 

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I am also a covering Mama- I did it on and off for a couple of years and have been doing it "religiously" (pardon the pun) for almost a year. It was a decision that took DH and I a while to get on the same page about. (I wanted us both to be comfortable with it and understand why we were doing it) I also wear dresses almost exclusively and am very conscious of the cut of the dress and what it shows. I do cover when around family (DH's) because they are vocal about thinking it is silly, so even though I "could" be uncovered around them, I really want them to see that it is a matter of belief for me and not convenience. On another note, DH also wears a full beard for religious reasons (an odd sight here in FL) and he takes a lot of flak from his family about it, but I love it on him and love everything that it represents as well. One thing that I have noticed is that I am not very outgoing or able to share my faith with others as a rule, but the covering seems to cause people to question me and that gives me the courage to share why I wear it. We are Messianic in our beliefs. If anyone has any questions, feel free to fire away.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Bonnie-<br><br>
I pumped milk and sent it to Marjorie 3 years ago in the summer of 01. I hadn't realized you were here on MDC. WOuld love to hear how you are doing!<br><br>
I am covering all the time now, have been for a little over a month. I am feeling very comfotable with it. And yes I DID get asked once if I was AMish LOL!
 

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I am just starting to cover but have not started doing it in public-which is where it probably matters the most. It takes courage to take the initial step but until I don't feel silly every time I look into a mirror, I don't feel ready. Working on it!
 

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Hi! I am a Jewish woman who covers.<br><br>
I cover using a wig when in public, and using hats/turbans/scarves when at home. I cover nearly all the time, including in front of my husband. I do not believe my husband, children, or other women are forbidden from seeing my hair, but I cover anyway as a reminder of G-d's presence everywhere and as an additional act of modesty.<br><br>
I tried to keep covered during my homebirth with dd, but towards the end, my covering did come off. It was the middle of July, in a stuffy un-air-conditioned apartment, so I just couldn't help it. My two midwives were the only ones in the room anyway. It was great to put the cold packs on my head!<br><br>
As far as covering the other parts of my body, I wear sleeves past the elbow, skirts and dresses well below the knee, and cover my legs/feet with opaque stockings and closed-toe shoes. I try to be sure my clothes are not tight or form-fitting.
 
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