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This is our first holiday season after being officially split up. Back in the spring, my two adult step-sons firmly asserted to their dad that they intended to continue celebrating holidays at my house, and hoped he would keep things civil enough with me that he could be part of it. That is definitely what I wanted, too.

However, my ex and I live in a state where covid is skyrocketing. Our youngest son's school district is shutting down this week, for the second time. Hospitals are filling up.
>> I run a small in-home daycare. All my clients are covid-conscious and most of the parents work from home. But our youngest son (our only kid still left at home) and I have exposure that we shouldn't be "sharing" more than necessary.
>> My ex works outside the home, and we've all just learned he has a girlfriend already, which means he's exposed to an additional circle we weren't aware of. Most ikely he is going out, in order to have met her and/or on dates with her.
>> My oldest step-son and his wife live in another state, both work outside the home, and both of their kids are in school, in-person. They wear masks at school, but have been continuing to get together with people, attend weddings, etc. without masks.
>> My other step-son and my 2 older, bio kids are all in their early 20's and not being as careful as I am. Ex., one of them just got over covid, and had lunch in a restaurant with one of the other ones while waiting for his initial test results. The exposed brother never got tested because he didn't develop symptoms.

So, I am not having Thanksgiving this year - which I hate, because I would've liked to have established a tradition of us continuing to do this together (even if my ex might have brought his new girlfriend to try to make me uncomfortable, I still would have wanted to do it, to maintain the sense of family with all the kids.) Initially, I thought I'd let my ex make his own call during his parenting time, about whether to do his own Thanksgiving with his kids. But our numbers have risen exponentially since I thought this; and my ex has shifted from considering renting a big, airy house to host his own meal, to considering hosting it in his mother's tiny, poorly-ventilated house where he's currently living. So - since we're not yet at a point where we have any legal requirements about holidays; we're just cooperating with each other to schedule parenting time around my ex's work schedule - I have decided our youngest cannot participate in his dad's Thanksgiving, either. I just don't think it's responsible for him to be having it.

Anyone else in a similar boat?
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