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Discussion Starter #1
I'm a longtime MDC member posting anonymously because I think that's prudent with this topic. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/innocent.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shy"><br><br>
DH & I are getting ready to get started on the adoption process, but I'm wondering how our CPS investigation a couple of years ago is going to affect things.<br><br>
To make a long story short, our child's ped. called CPS on us when she was a toddler for neglect. She was small for her age & he gave her a FTT diagnosis & told us to give her Pediasure. We told him we weren't comfortable with Pediasure and asked for alternative dietary recommendations. He wasn't happy with our questions and we had a social worker at our door the next day. Our case was closed "unsubstantiated."<br><br>
So, wise women, any thoughts/tips/etc. on how this might affect adopting?
 

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I'm pretty sure it will end up in the homestudy, so it depends on how the expectant parents receive the homestudy. In our agency the social worker reads the homestudy to the parents and so she could answer any questions they might have about it and reassure them, but if they are simply given a copy of the homestudy to read then it might be more of a problem.<br><br>
I think it would also depend on the expectant parents' opinions about CPS. If they have had unsubstantiated incidents in their own families or in their friends families or have a negative view of CPS then they might be sympathetic, whereas if they have positive and trusting views of CPS they would be less likely to pick you.<br><br>
In the end, it is just one aspect of who you are and there will be many more positive things in the homestudy that will outweigh this particular item. I'm sure it goes without saying that you should have some pictures of your daughter so they can see she is healthy and happy now!
 

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I would guess it will come up in your home study, require explanation and then be something you get through. Remember that no one is perfect, and many, many families have something in their background that is uncomfortable. As long as they can verify that there really never was neglect, I would think you would be fine.<br><br>
The agency and facilitator we are working with do not share the home study with expectant parents. It has a lot of highly personal information that may not be appropriate to share, really. It has specifics about our income for example - obviously, it is appropriate that the expectant parents know we are able to fully support a child, but not our annual income for the last three years. We don't share that with our friends, family members, etc. Obviously, the expectant parents see the portfolio thing you will put together. And, of course, when you meet expectant parents, you can ask each other all kinds of questions. But, especially since you were falsely accused and the case was closed, I don't think you are obligated to bring it up by putting it in your portfolio or bringing it up in conversation. Of course, if they directly asked you if you had ever had a CPS report, then you would need to be honest. But, I think the chance of them asking you that is pretty remote.<br><br>
I would guess it would be a glitch, but fine in the end. Good luck!
 

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I would be totally upfront with it, and bring it up with your social worker. Let them know what happened from your point of view (just as you did in your post above).<br><br>
We had things "against" us, too (marriage therapy, for one)...we brought it up and discussed it openly, and our social worker was very happy about that.
 

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Most importantly - Be open and honest about it w/ the worker who does your home study! Be sure to be ready to discuss the truth of the situation and what you did do to help your daughter.<br><br>
I had 3 CPS investigations before we became a licensed foster/adopt home and we were open and honest regarding each investigation - I actually provided documentation regarding each investigation to our worker when she asked us at our 2nd Home Study meeting if we had any personal experience w/ CPS. Like you, in our case each time was unsubstantiated, but our allegations were somewhat random - I was accused of not having enough food/not feeding my kids, of medical neglect (not attending to a medical need in a timely matter), and hitting an infant. In our case, these things were easily disproved, so it was no big deal at all and we've been licensed for several years and adopted w/ no problem.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thank you, mamas! It can be so hard to maintain perspective. The CPS thing was a <i>huge deal</i> to me...to have my family threatened. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/scared.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="scared"> But seriously, one of the first things the social worker said was, "I've seen homes where there's FTT due to neglect, and they don't look like this." As far as CPS investigations go, I really don't think things could have gone better. So, upfront & honest and hopefully this will just be a little bump in the road and not the giant obstacle I've been dreading.
 

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I too would be honest with the social worker upfront. Explain your position on not wanting pediasure but then tell what you did to increase childs calories, etc etc, (what ever you chose to do as an alternative). That way it doesn't just seem like you didn't do anything. It probably won't be an issue at all. When I lived in Ohio and had a young son (he was 10) I had CPS called on me because someone reported that I was working nights and he was home alone. They showed up at my door and found that my 70 year old grandmother was actually there with him (she came from MT to visit me and help with him) but she didn't drive so not many people knew she was even there. They came, I told them grandma was there at night and they left. Case closed. It didn't wasn't an issue during our adoption of DD, now 15 months old.
 

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My daughter was on the brink of the FTT label at age 2, and we would not have gone the pediasure route either without seeking other alternatives. I can't believe what your doc did.
 
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