Crushed..

745 Views 5 Replies 4 Participants Last post by crazyrunningmama, Apr 16, 2009

RuthieT

Discussion Starter · Apr 14, 2009

My DH and I have been ttc #2 for nearly 3 years. We did over a year of infertility treatments (clomid, metiformen, 4 IUI's) with no luck. We met with a specialist back in December and was told either injectables or IVF was our route... But I am wondering if that is really our only chances. The year we were on fertility meds they didnt try other meds just kept me on clomid for a year. For the past month or so I have started to feel that I would be ok with the fact that baby #2 wouldnt happen and if it did it would be a miracle and very welcomed. But, now I see and feel that my DH wants another. He is more into his little niece that is a baby and the little boy I watch he enjoys playing with. What if I really cant offer him the chance to be a father again to a newborn, what if he isnt truly happy with our family. I already feel like I am letting him and our DD down not being able to offer them another child and sibling. I feel so horrible. Everytime after we makelove I cry. I pray that we could get PG and that this time is the night it will happen. But, of course it doesnt. What I am to do. Should I insite of doing other treatments or is there truly no hope, but to put out thousands of dollars

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Solose

· #2 · Apr 14, 2009

I am so sorry for your troubles. I just learned I have PCOS and am also ttc #2, I can't imagine how hard it must be to do it for 4 yrs with no results.

I think you should talk about your feelings with your dh.You are not letting him down, I bet you are a great mother to your dd and a great wife. Tell him what you wrote here about how you feel. I think stress is such a big part of infertility, just sharing with a someone might help.

I am going to throw some ideas out there that you may have already tried, but if you haven't I would try them before going the IVF route. First off, I would stay on the met and maybe up the dose. I'm assuming you are on it for IR, and from what I understand you need to be taking it consistently for it to take effect, sometimes it can take a while. Also try cutting out most carbs and sugars and losing weight ( if you are overweight.) It'll help you ovulate and probably up the chances of IVF being successful.

And don't think there is no hope there is always hope! IVF helps lots of women get pregnant, don't assume it won't work for you. After all, everyone who has gone through it was in the same position as you and it has often worked for them.Good Luck.

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RuthieT

Discussion Starter · #3 · Apr 15, 2009

You are right I do need to sit down my DH some evening and tell him how I am feeling and maybe he will actually tell me how he is feeling about all of this. I just feel like there are still options out there for us besides the injectables that would cost around $2500 per cycle or IVF.

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Julia'sMom

· #4 · Apr 15, 2009

Were you monitored (u/s) while on clomid? Do they know that you responded and produced mature follicles? Was this an ob or an re? Regardless, take the time to grieve, as getting this news is like experiencing a loss. The answer will likely come clear as your emotions deal and you work thru it with dh.

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RuthieT

Discussion Starter · #5 · Apr 16, 2009

I went in for follicle scans around day 10-12 of my cycle to count follicles and see size before deciding weather or not IUI was the next step for that cycle. Other then that, that is really all they did. I have only seen my ob once during all of this... I always would talk with fertility nurses about results and next steps. I really do need to look into RE.

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crazyrunningmama

· #6 · Apr 16, 2009

Just wanted to send you a

I hope talking with your dh makes you feel a bit better, and let us know what the RE says, there may be other options for you. Take care of yourself.

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