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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have been completely anti-CIO from before LO was even born. He ended up being a very high need kiddo meeting all 12 of dr sears criteria and then some lol. He is now almost 8 months old. I found out around 4 months that my parenting style is mostly AP. DH always just told me i spoiled him and to let him cry etc. I found article upon article to email to him for him to read about high need babies, effects of CIO, etc.<br><br>
DS has been a horrible sleeper his whole life and has just started a new thing where he actually seems to need to cry before he can sleep. Maybe to get excess energy out, maybe to process, I don't know. He will toss and turn while I try to nurse him, and I lay there and try to hold him or rub his back and he fights me. Eventually he ends up crying, doesn't want anything to do with me, and 5 minutes later comes back for the boob (hes on a full size mattress and rolls around) and goes right to sleep. My patience with him is getting less and less, as 8 months of severe sleep deprivation is finally catching up with me. He is getting marginably better, but I am still exhausted, and no one can help except dh who works 80 hour weeks. (he still wants to do CIO)<br><br>
He seems to need this cry and fuss and roll around period before he falls asleep, but it has me VERY frustrated, and he usually pulls my hair, pinches my nipples and kicks my still sore c-section scar.<br><br>
I want alternatives to "letting" him cry, or ways to deal with it or make it less frusterating for me. (Swaddling never worked).<br><br>
Thoughts?
 

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so sorry you're having a hard time. my dd was like that and once she started crawling, it was so hard to get her to relax and fall asleep. she sleeps on a mattress on the floor and i often fall asleep before she does (she's 20 months now). i remember holding her down for a while (instead of swaddling which never worked) and days upon days of feeling like i couldn't do it a minute longer, right around 8 or 9 months. it does get better though. it will really soon. and then it will all be a distant memory. check out awareparenting.com. they talk about how babies need to cry to release stress. being there (holding, patting, reassuring) your child while they cry is not cio. just imagine what you might want for yourself - sometimes it feels really good to cry and it feels great to have someone there holding you and listening to you. you're doing great and your mommy instincts are spot on.
 

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But, there's nothing wrong with letting him fall asleep alone. Just lay him down and let him unwind.<br><br>
I've been doing daycare for 30 years. Some kids need to be rocked and or fed to sleep. Some kids need to lay down and snuggle into their bed to fall asleep. Some kids lay in bed and talk to themselves for 30 minutes before falling asleep.<br><br>
Just like some adults sleep snuggled up to their spouse, others can't fall asleep if they are touching someone.
 

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my babe had a phase months ago where she "needed" to protest-cry for a minute or two. somebody here linked to this article about babes who need to release-cry:<br><a href="http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006/06/babies_and_cio.html" target="_blank">http://moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2006...s_and_cio.html</a>
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
That is a great article tzs! Thank you! I think lo is switching gears on me. It used to be he would get so worked up crying that he wouldn't go to sleep, and now it seems he needs to cry before he sleeps. Today it took him 20 minutes to go to sleep for his nap (where he is now) he nursed the whole time, but was scooting, and climbing and twisting, all with the nipple in his mouth, and finally went to sleep--no tears by either of us thank goodness. He is so inconsistant with what he seems to need, but I am getting better at figuring it out day to day, nap to nap.<br><br>
I am trying so hard to do what is right for him and what he needs, but it can be so difficult. It is hard to tell sometimes until its too late if he wants me there or wants to be left alone. I suppose it is kind of like an adult. sometimes we want the bed to ourselves and sometimes we want to cuddle.<br><br>
Thanks ladies.
 
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