My (stbx?) partner and I have been struggling with differences and misunderstandings for a while. About a week and a half ago he declared that it wouldn't be possible to work through it, and I took our eight month old to stay at my mom's house, which is my only alternative. Since then he has seen her twice: once for a short visit during his lunch break and then yesterday he visited for several hours. As I drove him home he told me that he would arrange to have the same days off of work each week (it usually fluctuates) and that he expected to have her for two days & overnight every week...! I've never been away from her for more than four hours. She is still almost exclusively breastfed and doesn't take a bottle. He is trying to say that I need to adjust and give him joint custody. My mom assures me that for infants, the protocol is for the non-custodial parent to have short visits as frequently as possible. The information I have found online reflects that parents have an equal chance at custody as opposed to the old assumption that the mother was most fit. It's not clear what we can or should do short of going to court about this. We are unmarried and did fill out a voluntary acknowledgement of paternity. Anyone been there? What should I do to set us up for the best situation? I need to know the legal situation, but also what is best for my daughter at this delicate age. He is pretty good with her and certainly competent, but he has never taken care of her by himself for an extended period of time and for several reasons I am concerned about her safety if we should have joint custody. He has disregarded laws & recommendations regarding Child Passenger Safety, would feed her things an infant shouldn't have, etc. Compounding this whole issue is the fact that I am not ready to let go of our relationship at this point and don't want to do anything to ruin our chances at getting back together. But meanwhile my mom is already pressuring me to demand financial support from him because she can barely make ends meet on her own. ETA: Also, he can not drive legally, neither of us owns a car, and we are staying about forty minutes away. What a mess!