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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Anyway, trying to round up the guys here.<br><br>
Being married with three kids is tough. What do you do to try to do manly guy type things?<br><br>
Here's my list of manly things to do without children:<br><br>
Every Sunday during football season I go to a buddy's house and watch football. Sometimes I take my son to play with my buddy's kids. I don't see him the whole time. This event is a non-negotiable event. Everything else gets put to the wayside on Sunday's during Football season.<br><br>
I invite some guys over to help me finish my attic into three more bedrooms. We drink beer and operate power tools. This is great guy time because it makes my wife happy that I'm doing stuff to make our house better. She never complains.<br><br>
I try to get guys over the house so I can play my drums.<br><br>
About once every other week I venture to best buy on my lunch break and I stare at things. Also, I play the video games on those big TVs. Usually boxing or some other game that involves hurting people and general mayhem.<br><br>
Whenever guys at church play football or ultimate frisbee or whatever, I go. I don't ask permission, typically. These things don't happen often enough and it's important to do them whenever they come about. I'd sooner miss an uncle's funeral or a cousin's wedding then a good game of football.<br><br>
This year I plan on doing more paintballing. I went once last year. I used to play lots before marriage but I need to play more. Shooting is fun, running from balls of paint is even more so.<br><br>
I need to play pool more often too. Before marriage I played pool maybe 20-30 hours per week. Now I don't play at all. I need to schedule some time to do that.<br><br>
Lastly, I try to hit a good loud-assed rock concert once a month. For a good band, I mosh. When the show lets out I inevitably end up at Taco Bell for 3 Tacos (always hard) and an order of Nachos with Cheese and a Doctor Pepper.<br><br><br>
What does everyone else here do to make time for themselves so they can keep their sanity?
 

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I can't say that it's manly, per se, but it's important to me that I exercise. Be it rowing, running, and so forth. It keeps me level. Sane, if you will.<br><br>
I found that I wasn't getting out as much because either a) I'm too much of a lazyhead to get up early enough before DW and DS wake up to workout or b) I wasn't taking adavantage of my off moments well. I'd twindle my time away on something silly.<br><br>
I finally decided to starting running during my lunch at work. I work in downtown Chicago and so I head out to the Lakeshore path and run for 40 minutes. It's rocks and it keeps me from getting cranky from being sitting too much. And it doesn't impact my home time. (important). Plus the upside is the when I encounter The Stupid during afternoon meetings, I'm much more forgiving.
 

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Wow, what a post! I don't do any of that stuff anymore. I just went insane. Guess I banged it out in my youth so now I'm cool with being at home being a dad and boring and all that.<br><br>
I do things like work on the car, fix faucets, etc. I'll replace the toilet soon. Recently tore apart the dryer when it died cause I REFUSE to pay $200 for a new motor installation or $450 on a new one. I was prepared to pay $90 for the retail motor and put it in myself. I did fix it for free and by myself. Wife was really proud of that one, cause we're broke and it only took an hour or so.<br><br>
So, that's about as manly as I can manage.
 

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Is my husband weird or am I? He doesn't ever really have "guys night out", or a "guy activity". Maybe cuz I am "one of the guys"; his friends are my friends, and both him and I work on the family car, go to car shows, to body work to our beat-up project car....<br><br>
We have "guys night in"... where all our friends come over for pizza, beer and some good movies/music, or a jam session in the attic...
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Redifer</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7288433"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Is my husband weird or am I? He doesn't ever really have "guys night out", or a "guy activity". Maybe cuz I am "one of the guys"; his friends are my friends, and both him and I work on the family car, go to car shows, to body work to our beat-up project car....<br><br>
We have "guys night in"... where all our friends come over for pizza, beer and some good movies/music, or a jam session in the attic...</div>
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This is typical of our household, too...
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>papapoochie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7288102"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't do any of that stuff anymore. I just went insane. Guess I banged it out in my youth so now I'm cool with being at home being a dad and boring and all that.<br></div>
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my dh is the same-I read through the OPs post with a smile, thinking how dh never does any of those things. And pp-he's far from boring, so don't be quick to assign that label to yourself. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>papapoochie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7288102"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I do things like work on the car, fix faucets, etc. I'll replace the toilet soon. Recently tore apart the dryer when it died cause I REFUSE to pay $200 for a new motor installation or $450 on a new one. I was prepared to pay $90 for the retail motor and put it in myself. I did fix it for free and by myself. Wife was really proud of that one, cause we're broke and it only took an hour or so.</div>
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When our washer died I went on Freecycle and Craigslist and scored an older working model for FREE! All I did was pick the sucker up.
 

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It goes both ways but once every few weeks I have a guys night out where we hit a bar and reminice about school.<br><br>
I don't do sports, never have. Most of my friends do basketball but I was more of a sideline kid :0)<br><br>
If the girl wants to go out, like tonight, she does. She confirms with me and I confirm with her before making plans but it is a more of a 'just to let you know I am doing this, you have a problem? well DO YA?' type thing.<br><br><br><br><br>
Play xbox/pc with friends as often as possible but for the most part I stay home with the family. Or on our respective computers and entertaining the kidlette, or letting the kidlette entertain us <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Oh......<br><br>
If only.....<br><br>
I get my machismo jolt when and where I can. I work on the car when it needs it. Work with power tools when I can. Have a pint of Guinness every once in awhile. Catch an action movie when on business trips. Read ridiculous manly-man novels (i.e. Mitch Rapp novels by Vince Flynn). Listen to Godsmack, Drowning Pool, etc. Carry a pocket knife.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>greendaddy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7295233"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Oh......<br><br>
If only.....<br><br>
I get my machismo jolt when and where I can. I work on the car when it needs it. Work with power tools when I can. Have a pint of Guinness every once in awhile. Catch an action movie when on business trips. Read ridiculous manly-man novels (i.e. Mitch Rapp novels by Vince Flynn). Listen to Godsmack, Drowning Pool, etc. Carry a pocket knife.</div>
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I'm beginning to feel like the "masculine wife", because those are all typical things both my husband and I enjoy. Not to mention, I kick his arse at Halo 2.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Redifer</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7295320"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm beginning to feel like the "masculine wife", because those are all typical things both my husband and I enjoy. Not to mention, I kick his arse at Halo 2.</div>
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Don't steal my testosterone! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
I don't mean any offense, and other Dads may not agree, but I think it's important for Dad's to have manly-man things that only they do. If my SO did all the same manly-man things I did, that would somehow make them less manly-manish...KWIM?<br><br>
That's not to say she's not capable! Let's face it. While there are multiple things women can do that men cannot (childbirth, breast-feeding), there are few (if an) things a man can do that a woman cannot. In all honesty, she has absolutely no interest or desire and usually gives me that sad, knowing, somewhat condescending smile as I head out to grunt and howl at the moon. But my life is pretty much estrogen-dominant so these little estrogen-free experiences are rejuvenating.
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Redifer</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7288433"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Is my husband weird or am I? He doesn't ever really have "guys night out", or a "guy activity". Maybe cuz I am "one of the guys"; his friends are my friends, and both him and I work on the family car, go to car shows, to body work to our beat-up project car....<br><br>
We have "guys night in"... where all our friends come over for pizza, beer and some good movies/music, or a jam session in the attic...</div>
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I do most things with my husband, but he does have about one night a week (sometimes 2!) that he goes and plays poker with his friends.<br><br>
Right now I am acting as his designated driver for craft beer festivals, which allows him some guy time, albeit sort of supervised <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I do run off with my friends at those, though.
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>greendaddy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7295442"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Don't steal my testosterone! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
I don't mean any offense, and other Dads may not agree, but I think it's important for Dad's to have manly-man things that only they do. If my SO did all the same manly-man things I did, that would somehow make them less manly-manish...KWIM?<br><br>
That's not to say she's not capable! Let's face it. While there are multiple things women can do that men cannot (childbirth, breast-feeding), there are few (if an) things a man can do that a woman cannot. In all honesty, she has absolutely no interest or desire and usually gives me that sad, knowing, somewhat condescending smile as I head out to grunt and howl at the moon. But my life is pretty much estrogen-dominant so these little estrogen-free experiences are rejuvenating.</div>
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Oh, I agree. Trust me, the few times DH has actually WANTED to go out with "the boys" for the night, I practically shoved him out the door. I enjoy the rare night when I can sit on the computer for an hour uninterrupted by baby or husband!<br><br>
Thing is, he rarely wants to do anything without me. He'd rather "boys night out" be at our house, with me included, so I can play Halo 2 and make dirty jokes with everyone else. I guess it's perhaps that I've always been "one of the guys", even in this crowd. No one EVER saw me as "the wife", and it shocked them when I turned out to be his. I was always the belching, spitting, play-in-the-dirt tomboy.<br><br>
Perhaps that's why DH doesn't really want a night "out"... because our house isn't too much "estrogen dominant" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I'd rather watch a good stoner movie or something with lots of explosions, or play poker or video games.<br><br>
Granted, he does have his one hobby that I leave alone: building model cars. I tried, I just can't deal with those tiny little parts. I play "happy housewife" in that aspect and strategically display them on shelves or cases around his garage then!
 

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um lets see manly...<br><br>
I play catch with my son<br>
Play video games with either of my kids<br>
Work on my cars with my son<br>
Modify and improve toys for my kids - His "broken" thrift store Powerwheel is now the most powerful on the block, and can go for months on a single charge <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
I man-up and give my wife a few extra hours of sleeping-in on saturdays<br>
I teach my kids about Spiderman, Superman and X-men and Dragons and everything fantasy that I love.<br>
I promote intactness with all my friend's kids - Nothing more manly than keeping boys from being genitally mutilated<br>
I teach my son to pee standing up<br>
I order a steak<br>
I order a "Real" beer, none of that Bud-******-ice-light-coors piss<br>
I provide for my family<br>
I am not afraid to rock the minivan<br>
I'll follow my son for 3 hours as he wanders around talking to people and trying to find the perfect ball at Target<br>
I change diapers<br><br><br>
My daughter is too young for most of it but she will probably join us soon enough.
 

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It seems to me less about ascribed "manly" actiivties and more about having time to do things that you can call your own. Personal time, if you will.<br><br>
I don't do any of the things outlined by <b>somasoul</b>, but it doesn't mean that I don't require some non-familial time. Some people are okay without it. I think, on a certain level, it depends on where you draw your identity and respite from.<br><br>
I used to play a lot of CoH, but I found that it was cutting into my hometime, so I made the choice to drop CoH. My Tanker wasn't getting anywhere fast anyways... But I replaced it other activites that don't cut into my family time.<br><br>
I suppose, ultimately, it's a give and take and defintely depends on the dynamics of a given household.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>greendaddy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7295442"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Don't steal my testosterone! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
I don't mean any offense, and other Dads may not agree, but I think it's important for Dad's to have manly-man things that only they do. If my SO did all the same manly-man things I did, that would somehow make them less manly-manish...KWIM?<br><br>
That's not to say she's not capable! Let's face it. While there are multiple things women can do that men cannot (childbirth, breast-feeding), there are few (if an) things a man can do that a woman cannot. In all honesty, she has absolutely no interest or desire and usually gives me that sad, knowing, somewhat condescending smile as I head out to grunt and howl at the moon. But my life is pretty much estrogen-dominant so these little estrogen-free experiences are rejuvenating.</div>
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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I don't do sports, never have. Most of my friends do basketball but I was more of a sideline kid</td>
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I was too. I stand all of 5'4 and weigh 125 when wet. But I get out there and play anyway. When it's a pickup game it's more important to have fun, not necessarily be good. I bet you can even find a sport you'd be good at. Volleyball, dodgeball, kickball.............check your local Y or local churches for activities.<br><br>
I think all guys really need to make time for themselves, just like women do. There are things I do where the wife is not invited. Sometimes she feels like I don't want her there, like it's personal or something. But I know when I invite her and the kids along, I'm gonna wind up playing "daddy" to one of my kids when the entire purpose of me going out is to get a break.<br><br>
Video games are tons of fun and I play my fair share, but they lack in human interaction unless you are having a LAN party or something. I don't get the same thing from them that I get when I go get tackled in the dirt.
 

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nice dude!<br>
i hear ya on having time to yourself now and then. last concert i went to was either ICP at the webster, or static-x at same place. im 34<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">, and i thought about getting in there with the youngins' but figured i'd get in trouble for beating up on a kid><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br>
anyway, we have 2 kids, and about as manly as i get is target shooting now and then, and going to see the mets!!! i used to be a vikings fan back when moss first signed on, but lost some time. once a month my wife and i take turns getting alone time for about 9 or 10 hours. the other one watches the kids, so i play dungeons and dragons. in the warmer months, i'll go shooting a couple of hours on a sunday. i already showed my 4yr old daughter how to clean a revolver, and showed her important basics about safety. so when she's old enough and my son, they will not only be able to shoot, but know respect for them. daughter has interest in the mets as well, so when its time this year we'll both go<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
i think its important to include your kids on some of the things that a parent does by themselves. hmmmmm getting late and i just realized i got off track of subject<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> haha<br>
anyway, i play guitar as well. grew up learning slayer tunes and twisted sister. i still listen to crazy stuff like pantera (r.i.p. dimebag), morbid angel and such.
 

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Well, my husband used to go out to sea for a week to six months at a time with only other men for company. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/biglaugh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="laugh">: That, if the stories are to be believed, involved lots of manly-man stuff like singing <i>Lean on Me</i> in the torpedo room (no, I am not making that up). I do have some photos of a bbq topside of the submarine. I guess it doesn't get more masculine than that, unless maybe it's being the dude to hold the shotgun on shark watch during swim time. (C'mon, just the name. Shark watch.)<br><br>
I think I'll have to kick him out of the house on one of his days off to do something masculine. Or geeky-masculine anyway. Does cursing and working with computer hardware count as masculine?
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Sagesgirl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7315135"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Or geeky-masculine anyway. Does cursing and working with computer hardware count as masculine?</div>
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No
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ShaggyDaddy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7296814"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">um lets see manly...<br><br>
I play catch with my son<br>
Play video games with either of my kids<br>
Work on my cars with my son<br>
Modify and improve toys for my kids - His "broken" thrift store Powerwheel is now the most powerful on the block, and can go for months on a single charge <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
I man-up and give my wife a few extra hours of sleeping-in on saturdays<br>
I teach my kids about Spiderman, Superman and X-men and Dragons and everything fantasy that I love.<br>
I promote intactness with all my friend's kids - Nothing more manly than keeping boys from being genitally mutilated<br>
I teach my son to pee standing up<br>
I order a steak<br>
I order a "Real" beer, none of that Bud-******-ice-light-coors piss<br>
I provide for my family<br>
I am not afraid to rock the minivan<br>
I'll follow my son for 3 hours as he wanders around talking to people and trying to find the perfect ball at Target<br>
I change diapers<br><br><br>
My daughter is too young for most of it but she will probably join us soon enough.</div>
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Yes indeed. You are a man. An awesome man at that. And you're a DADDY.
 
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