Mothering Forum banner

1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
237 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I know if this isn't a SAHM mom issue, exclusively, but I didn't know where else to post it.<br><br>
My husband's job has him out of town a lot at this time of year. It's a great job, and it makes it much easier for me to stay at home, but when he goes away, it is so hard for me to watch my poor boys say goodbye to him. The oldest still remembers the days where Daddy worked a 9-5 job, and he would stand at the door to wait to greet Daddy when he got home, every day. If traffic was bad, and Daddy was late, he would just keep waiting. Now, when he hears that Daddy might not be home for a few weeks, he tries to keep a brave face, but he hurts, and I hate it. Today, he couldn't decide if he should hug Daddy with all his might, or refuse to say goodbye so he couldn't go. In the end, the hugging won out, which I am glad about, because I know it breaks my husbands heart everytime he has to leave them.<br><br>
Our youngest doesn't know any different; Daddy has had this job since he was born. Today, he kept kissing and kissing him, wanting to hold onto Daddy as long as he could.<br><br>
It's not always that bad, and actually, after all this, I got a call saying that he will be home again tomorow. But the next day, he will be gone again. Usually, the boys and I take it as it comes, knowing that soon enough, we will have a whole week with Daddy, no interuptions. But sometimes, these first days on shift are hard. Sometimes, I feel like a single parent,because I can't just say, Honey, I am running to the store, I'll be right back. I get to bundle up the kids and take them along everytime, which is fine, but time consuming. I feel like I could really use some back up sometimes, because the first day back to work brings out all the rebellious behavior. And then when my husband is on days off, he has sometimes been away long enough that I have to fill him in on everything, from the new responsabilities that our oldest has won, to translating the new words that the youngest has "mastered". The hardest part I guess is that our oldest doesn't seem to think that Daddy is an authority figure. If Daddy says something, our son always confirms it with me. I try really hard to convey that my husband and I are equal, and both in charge, but in reality, it's not true. I am the one who makes and enforces the rules, and that doesn't change because we are a whole family again. Sometimes I have to ignore the fact that the 3 men in the house are eating cookies for breakfast, and are in their pj's all day because Daddy said they could. It's not a big deal, really. i want to have fun with my husband comes home too. And he does do a great job as a father, and a husband. I really have no complaints there. I just really feel like a SAHM today. To the extreme.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
828 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> No advice, mama. Just hugs. My DP is in Costa Rica for 16 days, and I'm in the thick of it right now, so you have my sympathy and understanding. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,304 Posts
i know it is hard.<br><br>
DH is gone over night a few nights a month -- and DS1 gets so confused when it is dark and daddy isn't home.<br><br>
You might talk with some of the miltary moms who have dh's with boots on the sand. they might have better advice
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
500 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I know how hard this can be - DH was away for work all last week and he couldn't even phone regularly to talk to the boys. My oldest cried and cried cause he wanted a kiss goodnight from daddy. The first day or two was the worst and then we settled into a routine. Usually my DH works locally but he's in the oil industry and his hours can be awful - so the boys can go days without seeing him if he's working late (he almost always leaves before they get up). It is not easy, but it is a job that makes our finances a lot better.<br><br>
Take care mama!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
46 Posts
I am so sorry for your little ones. Poor sweeties. I hope that you can all band together as a team to make everything as good as possible while he is gone.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,121 Posts
I know how you feel, my DH is gone a lot too. Sometimes everyweek for months. He does come home on the weekends. All I can say is hang in there and take care of yourself.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,825 Posts
Oh gosh, that does sound hard. I usually don't mind DH's business trips, but his schedule is predictable. When he leaves, we know when he'll be back. In your situation, I think the uncertainty of it all would be the hardest to deal with.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
8,322 Posts
I can understand because DH is leaving in a few hours to be gone for a few days and it only happens every 3-6 mos and its only about 72 hours. But yes, the girls have a hard time with it. My issue, its 10 below outside, our heater is not working well and we have a fozen pipe. If the pipe bursts, I am screwed. The good news, we can take showers in the other bathroom but I am still worried about it. Thankfully the weather is letting up tomrrow but still I am concerned if it bursts.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
237 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
Thanks everyone, it's nice to know we aren't alone. My husband did get home the day after I wrote that, and was supposed to have a shop day the next day, but ended up having to go away again overnight. Ah well. The first day of each rotation is the hardest. And hey, I think he just drove into the driveway! yAYAYAYAYAYAY!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,599 Posts
My DH travels 2-4 days every week, and the hardest part is when the kids miss him. I have hard days too, but when the kids are having a hard time is when it really sucks. I'm trying to focus on the time when he is home (he gets all summer off) and on enjoying being the sole possessor of the remote control and other enjoyable liberties like cooking only based on what I & the kids will eat (ie-not serving meat & potatoes every night.)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
237 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
I find it harder to cook when he is away. Our little ones are very young, so I enjoy cooking a grown up meal when he is home. Actually, it's not so bad now that our youngest has teeth. When he was eating only purees and breast milk, I had a hard time thinking of something healthy, and tasty for a 2 year old, and me, that could also be blended! For some reason it was easier when I was cooking for 4 than 3.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
9,311 Posts
My dh is a long-haul driver and so I really get you. He's gone a whole lot. He is with a new company and it's a little more regular now but still it's difficult. He's done this since we have been together so the little ones are used to it.<br><br>
I find I do ok until someone gets sick..then it all goes to pot for me. The littlest is 2 and she cries when daddy leaves now. She's just now getting that he's gone for a long time.<br><br>
But this allows me to stay home with them so that's the good thing.<br><br>
It's not as hard as being a single mom(and I was one) but it's still hard.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Top