[NewMom0208]

I am recently separated, going through divorce and I already made the mistake of dating someone not being ready and lost a wonderful opportunity. I learned valuable lessons, but there got to be a better way.<br><br>
I know many mommies here are ambivalent about dating, I am sure I want to date and find love again.<br><br>
I will be 40 this year and have never dated in my whole life. I met my stbx when I was 16, he was 21. We met at the cafeteria in college, we said hi, we talked for 3 hours, we kissed and that was it. 24 years leater I am divorcing.<br><br>
So, I want to learn about dating and about building good relationships so a year or so from now I am better prepared to do this right.<br><br>
Any good sites? with active forums and good articles about dating, particularly for 40 and above?<br><br>
Thank you!

 

[MsChatsAlot]

I know that places like Plenty of Fish have forums where you can talk about all kinds of topics related to dating, but I don't know of specific sites just to talk about dating and get tips.<br><br>
Here's my own brand of dating advice.<br><br>
1. <b>Know yourself first.</b> The more comfortable you are in your own skin, the more comfortable you will be navigating through the dating waters.<br><br>
2. <b>Spend some time figuring out what you really want in a partner.</b> What do you want? What stage of life are you at? What are your likes and dislikes? What are your deal-breakers? What are your values?<br><br>
3. <b>Know there is an ABUDANCE of good men out there and be determined to find them</b>.<br><br>
4. <b>Be yourself and have fun</b>! Dating is like trying on clothes. There are casual, dressy, some that look good on the rack but don't fit when you try them on, some that just aren't your style! Take time to really get to know people and see what fits for you.<br><br>
5. <b>Ask a lot of questions and really listen for the answers and make sure you ask the hard questions earlier than later before you don't want to hear the truth as much as you want to hear what you want to hear</b>.

 

[NewMom0208]

This is great advice! Maybe I am already in the right forum, lol!<br>
Thank you so much MsChatsAlot!<br><br>
I am doing a lot of what you mention alredy. I am building a healthy single life around me first.<br><br>
I think defining what I want from a partner is the part I need to define better. I want to step back from the universe created by my stbx.<br><br>
I know I want honesty, fun, respect (of my ideas, time and space) and passion, all lacking on my marriage.<br>
And I have learned lots of things about myself I didn't know! But I don't want to go around measuring how is the new guy different than my ex. Not good enough.<br><br>
I guess I have to google, "how to know what you want in a partner"<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
I am 39, soon 40 but I feel like 26 inside, and when it comes to dating, I feel like a teenager...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">

 

[MissLotus]

You've already gotten some good advice... my best advice about dating is don't for a while. That is how you get to know yourself and what you really want. You've been with someone since you were 16, and you are not yet divorced... Take the time to know what life with just yourself (and kids) is like. Once you do this, you'll be much more self-assured in the dating world.