Mothering Forum banner

1 - 20 of 78 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
32 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Today was a good day, relatively speaking.<br><br>
I picked up my three-year-old son, Adam (not his real name), from his preschool in the early afternoon. His teacher said he'd had a happy day, even though he carried home wet pants (again) and wore hand-me-down jeans from the classroom because I'd forgotten to restock his clean clothes. Silly Mommy!<br><br>
We were ready to go, and the day was cold and drizzly, but there was a Jeep Cherokee parked in front of the school. Adam loves Jeeps. It's this week's obsession. He would not budge from that sidewalk until the Jeep left -- which it did within a few minutes, thank goodness, or things would have gone south quickly. (It often does, at pickup time.)<br><br>
We drove to the town's special education office to drop off some forms. In the office, Adam wandered and bounced like any three-year-old. But he suddenly stopped and stared. "The Boston Globe," he said solemnly, reading off of a poster in the corner. The woman in the office praised him for recognizing the newspaper's logo. I should have let it rest there, but I just couldn't. "Watch this. Adam, can you read, um... this box over here?"<br><br>
He looked at the box and didn't hesitate. "United... States..." He paused and experimented with pronunciations. "Postal... Service. United States Postal Service!"<br><br>
The woman gaped at me and whispered, "Holy crap. Seriously?"<br><br>
"Oh, yes," I said cheerfully. "That wasn't a fluke. He can read really well. It's called hyperlexia, and it's just part of who he is, along with the autism spectrum disorder."<br><br>
This "autistic" child -- because that's what the diagnosis says -- jumped back and forth through an office door, looked directly up at this woman he'd never seen before, and lit up the room with his thousand-watt smile.<br><br>
We went to Starbucks next. He knows the routine there, and he happily sat down at a table of his choice. He pulled out a library book and sat and read to himself while we drank our hot chocolate (for him) and caffe mocha (for me) with whipped cream (for both). For a while, we trade back and forth, reading parts of the book to each other. I ask him questions sometimes, all of which he answers with monosyllabic replies -- "Which cat is that?" "How does the girl feel?" -- but he isn't interested in actual conversation. He rarely is. He keeps his own counsel.<br><br>
On the way out, we were waylaid by Jeeps again. A Liberty, a Rubicon -- he knows them all. He has to approach the parked Jeeps and "go by them." We talked about that one's color: "Red Jeep!" "Really, Adam? I'm thinking it looks purple." "No! Dark red!" "Or brown? Maybe maroon?" "Dark red!!!" See, once he makes up his mind, it's made up for good. Maybe all three-year-olds are like that; I wouldn't know.<br><br>
I'm worried that he'll need a potty soon. I have to guess when he needs one, because he doesn't seem to know when he needs to go. We skedaddled to the town library and made it to the restroom just in time. In the children's room, we settled in next to a shelf of picture books, and he picked out titles that intrigued him, such as "Love You When You Whine." He read the whole book by himself (ignoring my occasional question about it). I wondered, as would his father later tonight, if Adam sees himself in the protagonist's endless troublemaking? "Love you when you pour the cereal all over the floor. Love you when you cut up Mommy's checkbook."<br><br>
He was restless, wandering around the room. Then I hit the jackpot: a trove of Thomas the Tank Engine original stories! Oh yeah! Adam's interest was piqued again. We settled into chairs, and he eagerly read "Percy's Promise" aloud, even when another preschool boy came over and listened (though my son just ignored him). It was a virtuoso performance, with fine diction, appropriate intonation, humor, and very few pronunciation mistakes! I enjoyed listening to him. And no adults were listening or gaping at him, which was fine with me.<br><br>
I had promised him that we could go to a nearby toy store after the library. We gathered our things, dropped off our bag of books and other things in the car, and walked across the street. Predictably, he headed straight for the bin of toy cars. I played with the sweet Folkmanis puppets, occasionally bringing one over to Adam. He acknowledged the monkey puppet for three seconds: "Oh, Curious George!" And then it's back to the cars. (The other puppets, and other kids around him, are not acknowledged at all.)<br><br>
We hadn't been there five minutes when he wet his pants. And his socks. And the floor. Arrrgh! I politely asked for a restroom key, then realize that I've left all his dry clothes in the car. Double arrrgh! We walked all the way back to the car, which couldn't have been comfortable for the poor soaking-wet kid. The rain had started again, too.<br><br>
At the car, I struggled to get him out of the wet clothes. He wouldn't cooperate. He wouldn't stand in the car -- he insisted on standing in the wet parking lot, in the rain. I pulled down his pee-soaked hand-me-down jeans that aren't his. He screamed in my ear. The wet denim got stuck over his foot. He screamed again. I struggled, he struggled, he's half-naked, there are people in this parking lot...<br><br>
Suddenly, he's talking about Jeeps again. Jeeps this, Jeeps that. "I loooove Jeeps!" he says happily. What the hell? Why this sudden emotional switch? Why is he still being a limp noodle as I try to take these wet clothes off of him? Why can't he hold the pee for three minutes? Why can't he ever, EVER, ask me for a freaking bathroom? Why did we get a kid who can't do this really basic stuff, who can't treat other kids like human beings, who's brilliant and amazing and huggy and smiley but can't toilet-train? Why us?<br><br>
I finally yanked off the wet pants and underwear, and this comes unbidden out of my mouth: "I don't care about Jeeps!"<br><br>
And I hate myself for a moment.<br><br>
Slowly and gently, I help Adam into his dry underwear and warmup pants. I fumble with his wet shoes and get them into the car -- I'll put them on him later. I apologize and give him a hug, nuzzling my nose into his damp hair. His unique head smell, the same as when he was a baby, calms me down.<br><br>
We drive home. "I love Jeeps, Mommy," says Adam. "I know, baby," I say, and turn to smile at him. He gives me his thousand-watt smile again. I reach back and gently rub his sock-covered foot, which, for once, he tolerates.<br><br>
"Sorry I got angry, Mommy." Angry? I was the angry one! But he's following a script he learned once. "I'm sorry I was angry, too," I say. He switches to another script, singsong, with a sly grin at the end: "My bad! I made a mistake!" Over and over again. The autism people call this echolalia. I call it adaptive -- he is trying to connect, trying to say what he feels, and he just doesn't have the right words yet. But he tries. He tries so hard.<br><br>
"Love you when you whine!"<br><br>
Of course I do, little love.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,557 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> He sounds like a great little kid.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
675 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>no5no5</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15425958"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> He sounds like a great little kid.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
493 Posts
He sounds a LOT like my 2E son at that age. I could have written something very similar a couple of years ago.<br><br>
The echolalia and the scripting are part of the autism AND they are adaptive, so you are both right. Hyperlexic kids are often gestalt language learners. Other kids learn single words and then figure out how to put them together. Hyperelxic kids often learn entire phrases, sentences, or conversations and then try to apply them to the situation at hand. As he continues learning to process verbal language, you will need to help him break down the phrases and sentences into their indvidual words. And you will have to make sure he not only understands each word, but how they relate to each other as well. This is why sometimes parents of hyperlexic kids start introducing grammar concepts at a very early age.<br><br>
You might want to consider trying a potty schedule. You can start by encouraging him to go potty every hour (or however often you think he should need to go) and gradually lengthen the time. This method worked well for us. It helped DS become more aware of the sensation of needing to go and lessened his (and my) stress/anxiety about having accidents.<br><br>
Your son sounds like a real joy and an amazing little guy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,432 Posts
I enjoyed reading this, he sounds like a wonderful little boy.<br><br>
I can so relate to the obsessions (I actually just posted here recently about them). Just insert airplane in for jeep and you just described my day. I've resorted to trying to convince DD that the airplanes to go bed at night (so did not work!!).<br><br>
And the frustration when they seem to get so much but many of the little things are way over their head.<br><br>
I don't know if DD is 2E or not, we're thinking of getting her evaluated for a number of reasons but I can see a lot of DD in what you said.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
32 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>physmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15429399"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I enjoyed reading this, he sounds like a wonderful little boy.<br><br>
I can so relate to the obsessions (I actually just posted here recently about them). Just insert airplane in for jeep and you just described my day. I've resorted to trying to convince DD that the airplanes to go bed at night (so did not work!!).</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
No kidding. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> I often wonder what our best tactic is as parents; should we enter joyfully into these obsessions with our kids, or should we engage less and gently divert their attention from the obsession? As with all things in parenting, I imagine the answer is "it depends," but on what? The Jeep thing isn't that bad right now, so I try to reflect his enthusiasm and be joyful with him.<br><br>
But a friend of mine, whose AP/GD parenting I respect deeply, doesn't ever engage with her kids in their obsessions du jour -- she thinks it's not her place as a parent, or something.<br><br>
I imagine as DS gets older, I'll have to let him know how to stay within the socially acceptable boundaries of such obsessions. He probably won't figure them out by himself. (sigh)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,432 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>DeeplyRooted</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15430352"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">No kidding. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> I often wonder what our best tactic is as parents; should we enter joyfully into these obsessions with our kids, or should we engage less and gently divert their attention from the obsession? As with all things in parenting, I imagine the answer is "it depends," but on what? The Jeep thing isn't that bad right now, so I try to reflect his enthusiasm and be joyful with him.<br><br>
But a friend of mine, whose AP/GD parenting I respect deeply, doesn't ever engage with her kids in their obsessions du jour -- she thinks it's not her place as a parent, or something.<br><br>
I imagine as DS gets older, I'll have to let him know how to stay within the socially acceptable boundaries of such obsessions. He probably won't figure them out by himself. (sigh)</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Yes, I'm nodding vigorously here. It's so hard to know what to do. I guess, some of her obsessions I've encouraged. She's been really obsessed with ASL and knowing the sign for everything so when I can I always show her the correct sign. I don't always know the sign so I fingerspell it for her but she's never quite pleased with that.<br><br>
On the other hand, these airplanes, ARG!!! They're getting old pretty quickly, especially since they are interfering with her naptime/bedtime (we live by major airports so you can hear them all day and all night where we live). She'll be just about to fall asleep and even with a fan and white noise machine on she'll somehow hear them and pop out of bed wide awake. DH says we shouldn't encourage it but then again, it's really hard to ignore it when it consumes her entire day!!<br><br>
Yeah, I've wondered how they will evolve the older she gets. I keep having hope that once she can read, maybe she'll occupy herself with books on her obsessions? At least that's what DH and I did as kids but who knows how it'll turn out....
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,631 Posts
OP - your DS sounds so much like mine!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,419 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>DeeplyRooted</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15425845"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">"Oh, yes," I said cheerfully. "That wasn't a fluke. He can read really well. It's called hyperlexia, and it's just part of who he is, along with the autism spectrum disorder."</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
If you don't mind sharing, I'd be curious to hear more about how the hyperlexia diagnosis was made. Has he been evaluated by a specialist in gifted children or only by autism specialists? A good portion of what you wrote about here sounds very similar to what I've seen with some asychronous highly and profoundly gifted boys during the preschool years. The accurate and dramatic reading of the original Thomas stories is something that was 100% familiar to me from my son and though his reading at that age exceeded his development in interactive conversation it would not be accurate to label it hyperlexia. While the reading was most certainly really atypical and far in excess of the development of other milestones, it was not evidence of a disorder, but rather it was a skill that allowed him over time to develop other skills as well. HG and PG kids who focus heavily on reading and develop in a very asynchronous manner can appear very oddly developing, even autistic, when they are not.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,419 Posts
I've always noticed an interesting contrast between the way "obsessions" are discussed in the autism and the gifted communities. In the gifted community don't at all question that kids and adults will have obsessions, we just call them passions and treat them with respect. We consider it a sign of normal healthy functioning that people have deep interests. We respect the teenager who plays her violin three hours a day, the adult who is an expert in organic gardening, and the friend who knows everything there is to know about fixing computers. Is it disrespectful that we classify this same level of interest on the part of a preschooler as an obsession not to be interacted with just because we may find the topic uninteresting.<br><br>
Having "obsessions" is a totally typical, common and appropriate thing for smart kids. Interests serve an important developmental purpose of allowing kids to be intellectually engaged with something that is accessible to them. Perhaps it would be helpful to approach it by replacing the word obsession with something less pathological sounding. What I see retrospectively looking back at the preschool obsessions is that they were serving an absolutely vital role. They allowed the child to have intellectual stimulation, to practice skills of memory and categorization, to have something to focus on and talk about. Really, what do we expect a preschooler to talk about - world peace?<br><br>
Yes, starting from the preschool years it is appropriate to teach interactive conversation and turn taking. Learning to ask questions such as "would you like to hear another thing..." is appropriate. Some kids naturally just pick this up, but many - including many who aren't autistic - need more parenting in this area. It is good to start conversations about how Uncle Bob likes playing the banjo, Grandma likes reading about history, etc.<br><br>
Also, really, part of having kids is that unless you get really lucky (and this doesn't usually happen until they are older) a lot of conversations are going to be flat out boring. Many a parent of a totally neurotypical kid interested in video games or football knows that you have these conversations not because you want to hear one more thing about these topics but because it is an important part of connecting with your kid.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,549 Posts
Lovely kid!<br>
I have to say though, he doesn't sound that different from my dd when she was that age. She is not diagnosed as anything 2E just pg. She does have some social differences from some of her agemates (now 11). We're now trying to find a way to deal with the tween mean girl dynamics. Well she deals pretty well by avoiding them, but trying to give her an alternative or two in case an activity is worth the trouble. LOL
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,388 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">The accurate and dramatic reading of the original Thomas stories is something that was 100% familiar to me from my son and though his reading at that age exceeded his development in interactive conversation it would not be accurate to label it hyperlexia. While the reading was most certainly really atypical and far in excess of the development of other milestones, it was not evidence of a disorder, but rather it was a skill that allowed him over time to develop other skills as well. HG and PG kids who focus heavily on reading and develop in a very asynchronous manner can appear very oddly developing, even autistic, when they are not.</td>
</tr></table></div>
I had some similar thoughts. I don't know very much about hyperlexia, but wouldn't a hyperlexic and autistic child read in more of a rote, mechanical fashion, without the correct dramatic intonation? To me, proper intonation indicates a deep understanding of emotions and story.<br><br>
I say all this having had a child who sometimes looked pretty ASD in her toddler years, but who as an older child still is quirky, different, and intense, but no longer strikes me as ASD at all. By the way, she also reads aloud beautifully, with perfectly chosen dramatic expression (that is, she does when she is not reading aloud so fast thatthewordsallruntogether).<br><br>
Also, DD was really not interested in other kids till around 4, and basically ignored them in favor of adults--but at 6, she is highly, highly social and very enmeshed in her friendships.<br><br>
And right now I have a very NT 2yo who is probably also gifted who is utterly OBSESSED with construction equipment. I mean, he knows which way to turn to pass the equipment rental place and vocally insists we drive past, among other things. When DD was like this about something at his age I worried about it (she did obsess over stuff, too, though the obsessions changed all the time), but DS is so clearly NT in so many ways that it doesn't even cross my mind to worry. But he IS obsessed.<br><br>
(And yet, to be clear, I consider DD basically NT too...she's just much further towards the gray end of the spectrum. DS is solidly in the middle.)
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
5,156 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Roar</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15446578"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I've always noticed an interesting contrast between the way "obsessions" are discussed in the autism and the gifted communities. In the gifted community don't at all question that kids and adults will have obsessions, we just call them passions and treat them with respect. We consider it a sign of normal healthy functioning that people have deep interests. We respect the teenager who plays her violin three hours a day, the adult who is an expert in organic gardening, and the friend who knows everything there is to know about fixing computers. Is it disrespectful that we classify this same level of interest on the part of a preschooler as an obsession not to be interacted with just because we may find the topic uninteresting.<br><br>
Having "obsessions" is a totally typical, common and appropriate thing for smart kids. Interests serve an important developmental purpose of allowing kids to be intellectually engaged with something that is accessible to them. Perhaps it would be helpful to approach it by replacing the word obsession with something less pathological sounding. What I see retrospectively looking back at the preschool obsessions is that they were serving an absolutely vital role. They allowed the child to have intellectual stimulation, to practice skills of memory and categorization, to have something to focus on and talk about. Really, what do we expect a preschooler to talk about - world peace?<br><br>
Yes, starting from the preschool years it is appropriate to teach interactive conversation and turn taking. Learning to ask questions such as "would you like to hear another thing..." is appropriate. Some kids naturally just pick this up, but many - including many who aren't autistic - need more parenting in this area. It is good to start conversations about how Uncle Bob likes playing the banjo, Grandma likes reading about history, etc.<br><br>
Also, really, part of having kids is that unless you get really lucky (and this doesn't usually happen until they are older) a lot of conversations are going to be flat out boring. Many a parent of a totally neurotypical kid interested in video games or football knows that you have these conversations not because you want to hear one more thing about these topics but because it is an important part of connecting with your kid.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Roar, this is an interesting point and something *I* struggle with as a parent. My kid hasn't been Rxed on the spectrum (we're going through all that now) but at times appears to be somewhere there. Depending on what is going on, sometimes its wonderful that he is so passionate about certain subjects, sometimes it is scary.<br><br>
I think your point about interests is very interesting.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,576 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Roar</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15446578"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We respect the teenager who plays her violin three hours a day, the adult who is an expert in organic gardening, and the friend who knows everything there is to know about fixing computers. Is it disrespectful that we classify this same level of interest on the part of a preschooler as an obsession not to be interacted with <b>just because we may find the topic uninteresting.</b></div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I have a 2E 13 year old. Part of the difference between a passion and an obsession are the level to which it interfers with functioning. If the adult is spending so much time on her garden than she neglects her children and lectures people rather than communicating with them, we don't respect her. If the teen is spending three hours a day practicing but failing classes and refusing to speak to her parents, then we worry -- deeply.<br><br>
The advice that I've read on dealing with obsessions (for kids with autism and aspergers) is to encourage them, but to expand them. Rigid thinking is nastly little trap, and gently helping kids expand and become more elastic helps make them more functional.<br><br>
My DD just finished up a social skills class and the moms enjoyed telling each other about our kids' special interests. There was a lot of pride because our kids struggle with some really basic things, but every kid in the class had a subject that they are a total expert on.<br><br>
And autism is a spectrum. There is a thin grey line between the gifted quirky kid the gifted aspie kid. The line is just how well they can function in the world outside their family.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
493 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>loraxc</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15447143"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I had some similar thoughts. I don't know very much about hyperlexia, but wouldn't a hyperlexic and autistic child read in more of a rote, mechanical fashion, without the correct dramatic intonation? To me, proper intonation indicates a deep understanding of emotions and story.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Not necessarily. My 2E DS with hyperlexia and autism can do great dramatic readings with correct intonations, but he really struggles in understanding emotions. He figured out punctuation very early on and from listening to us read learned how to match vocal qualities to the approrpiate punctuation marks.<br><br>
He's really good with understanding the facts of a story, like the setting and the sequence of events. But he has a very hard time understanding character motivations and feelings. So while he reads a story and does the dramatic voices, I will often stop him we can talk about which emotion matches the vocal quality he is using and how that can show him what the character is feeling. Then we talk about why the character feels that way. Yes, it's backwards from the way most kids learn it, but that's hyperlexia and the gestalt learning process.<br><br>
You are right that some kids might look like they could have ASD in their toddler years, but then develop in to social kids. I seen this happen with both gifted and non-gifted kids and I wonder sometimes how much this might skew the autism stats. My little guy is 6 and despite his amazing academic skills, he is clearly autistic. His gifts and his disabilites intertwine in many fascinating ways.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,419 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Lollybrat</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15448236"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">You are right that some kids might look like they could have ASD in their toddler years, but then develop in to social kids.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
or, may be they don't and they become chemists, mathematicians, engineers, etc. and no one thinks a thing of it. Not all people will be equally social. Of course if a person is in pain they deserve help with that. And, all kids whether they have a diagnosis or not, deserve parenting to help them learn to take turns in conversation and be polite.<br><br>
I'm in no way disputing there are gifted kids with autism. I am suggesting though I would tread very, very carefully with a preschooler in deciding it is hyperlexia rather than giftedness. Our son had that exact same kind of perfect radio announcer type reading of Thomas, etc. He absolutely could not answer questions about character motivation - as of course a large percentage of kids that age can't. We were told it was hyperlexia and he'd always struggle with aspects of language. This was not accurate. He was highly gifted in language and continues to be. I'd put his ability to talk about character motivations as average for his age or perhaps like other people who grow up to be physicists - a bit below average.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,419 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Linda on the move</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15447927"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
The advice that I've read on dealing with obsessions (for kids with autism and aspergers) is to encourage them, but to expand them. .</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I agree with that advice. Use it as an opportunity for comfort and growth.<br><br>
I also put screen obsessions in a bit of a different category as it may be the time spent on that activity furthers the gulf between the child and other people.<br><br>
And, really I see a huge range of normal. There are functional adults who focus very deeply for very long periods of time on their areas of interest and that is not a bad thing.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
493 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Roar</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15449168"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">or, may be they don't and they become chemists, mathematicians, engineers, etc. and no one thinks a thing of it. Not all people will be equally social. Of course if a person is in pain they deserve help with that. And, all kids whether they have a diagnosis or not, deserve parenting to help them learn to take turns in conversation and be polite.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Well, by "social kids" I meant kids who eventually develop empathy, have social and emotional reciprocity, read others' non-verbal cues, and understand the basic elements of social interaction. I didn't mean social butterflies or something of that nature. Some people are introverts and some are just naturally socially awkward, but those are different things than having a social impairment.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I'm in no way disputing there are gifted kids with autism. I am suggesting though I would tread very, very carefully with a preschooler in deciding it is hyperlexia rather than giftedness. Our son had that exact same kind of perfect radio announcer type reading of Thomas, etc. He absolutely could not answer questions about character motivation - as of course a large percentage of kids that age can't. We were told it was hyperlexia and he'd always struggle with aspects of language. This was not accurate. He was highly gifted in language and continues to be. I'd put his ability to talk about character motivations as average for his age or perhaps like other people who grow up to be physicists - a bit below average.</td>
</tr></table></div>
I understand what you are saying. But given the experience of our family and other families we know, I guess I generally try to err on the side of caution. Personally I think there is little to be lost and much that be gained by seeking interventions for a child whose diagnosis might be questionable. I've talked with too many parents in our support group who thought that their preschoolers' amazing abilities were more significant than their delays and then later lamented the lost years when they could have pursued services.<br><br>
We (DH, myself, teachers, therapists, doctors) have always considered DS's hyperlexia to be a gift. We always tell people that hyperlexia is a gift that came with his autism (one of many). I've talked with many parents whose kids have ASD with hyperlexia and they often feel the same way. Sometimes we even jokingly refer to our kids' extraordinary math abilities as "hypermathia". <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
1 - 20 of 78 Posts
Top