[Super~Single~Mama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Charlie's~Angel~

Not BFing, still yell.

Its called having TWO spirited boys, one who is more spritied then the other, and after telling them 14 times to stop fighting or called thier name 27 times and they STILL havent looked your way, SNAPPING. Hey, im human. And it gets their attention. Do I feel like a giant TOOLBOX afterwards? Almost immediately.

This is me. Minus the older child.

 

[Super~Single~Mama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AFWife

It's amusing and very true

Dang. Where'd Charlie'sAngel post go? My quote button isn't working very well. Oh well, I like the the "Not always gentle GD tribe" idea.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellien C

I'm in, but I think I've already failed today.

My dryer is broke and we need to buy a new one on Saturday. DD, who leaves her clothes all over the house anyway had no jeans. Now, she's supposed to pick her clothes out the night before so we don't have this problem but she changed her mind. I told her there were some pants left behind the couch but I couldn't wash any of her clothes because the dryer was broken.

Then she stated yelling that I could have put up a damn clothes line (this from an 8 yo, sadly typical). I explained to her that the dryer broke on Sunday and we were busy Monday night and both children were sick yesterday so there was really no time to put up a clothesline. And that the way she spoke to me was very rude. Then she continued that if we really wanted to, we could have. And I lost it and told her when she grew up she could run her house anyway she wanted.

She's very much explosive-inflexible, but I know I'm not helping the matter.

I'll have to try for no MORE yelling today.

I failed today too. Mad yelling too, not just trying to get his attention. The whining is driving me positively INSANE. And then he wants a banana, but he only wants to PLAY with the banana, and not EAT the banana. Well, I don't let him play with his food b/c it drives me crazy and its horribly wasteful, which we don't have the money for right now. I know he's only 2, but we still can't waste 3 banana's a day!

 

[Super~Single~Mama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by brooklynbabymama

truly appreciate your candor, mama! i was stopping by to express similar sentiment...

my mom never cussed, when she wanted to yell she'd be really quiet or just retreat from me. same effect, i think.

i have an open door policy with yelling at and even cussing around my kids. frankly, it gets their attention. it relieves my tension and keeps me from feeling/acting mean. it brings the spotlight to the issue at hand and really makes my stubborn 3yo daughter focus on things through my repetition and vehemence, like putting on her shoes or cleaning up her messes.

most importantly, i want my kids to know that they in no way have a paragon for a mother. i'm going to get mad and i have a right to express it, just like they do. i don't yell to scare or hurt them but i'm a person in this family with feelings also and the sooner i get my needs met the sooner i can meet theirs. i've explored GD from all ends with major successes and failures and honestly i think yelling is a healthy expression of anger and enables me to truly keep my temper checked and be the gentle mother i really am.

i'm reminded of a dear friend growing up. i was rather horrified as a child to watch her mother (a high school teacher) yell and reprimand at will. in retrospect and considering the permanent respective effects on my friend's and my senses of self, her mom was a true, loving, guiding hand.

I'm liking this train of thought. I really don't like yelling, but I do it sometimes. I'm just not good at staying calm. I've even spanked a few times in the last 2 days b/c I'm losing my mind with my highly spirited 2yo who just.will.not.listen.at.all.to.anything.I.say. AAAAHHHHHHHH. Thank god this only lasts a few weeks till I start work, but I'm home right now and I need some methods of calming myself down so that I don't scream at him constantly, or spank anymore. I REALLY need to stop that.

(please PLEASE no flames - I'm NOT a good SAHM and I need to start working so that I'm not one anymore)

Can you elaborate more on the last sentence? What is the difference between your sense of self and your friends? I'm honestly curious, my parents yelled, and my brothers and I seem to have turned into good independant, hard working adults, but not I'm rambling and don't know where I'm going. I just had that question. Thanks!