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Discussion Starter #1
Hi Ladies. Dd just started daycare full time this week as I am going back to work to complete my Internship after being home with her for 16 months. I BF on demand, and she also eats well and takes water from a straw/sippy. My plan for this transition was to nurse her on demand when I am with her. So, I would nurse her to nap on the weekends, etc.<br><br>
This morning when I dropped her off for day 5, her teacher aked if I was planning to nurse her to nap over the weekend and added that dd wants one of them to lay on her nap mat with her to fall asleep. She said, "I don't want to tell you what to do, but if I were you I would try not to nurse her to sleep for nap so she won't get confused." I said that I would see how it went, mainly because I had said good-bye to dd and didn't want to linger for a long conversation with the teacher.<br><br>
First, I'm not going to do that. I will nurse her when I am with her whenever she wants. I think that it would be way more confusing if I refused to nurse her, and I think she will eventually figure out that when she's at daycare, I can't nurse her. She does fall asleep there without tears. I send her blankie and sheet, and I think that the teacher was trying to help, but it just annoyed me. She is not a Mom, and they know that dd is bf and were very supportive of me bringing breast milk for her if I wanted (but dd won't take it if it's not from me, so not an issue).<br><br>
I guess I just want to know if my plan makes sense. I hate that dd is in daycare, but I am totally committed to do CLW and I don't think it's good for any of us to limit her nursing any more than we are when I'm away from her. And, I could be totally over reacting to this comment as the entire week has been very emotional.<br><br>
TIA!
 

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honestly, forget what that woman told you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> you mentioned she's not a mom, so right off the bat, she doesn't know anything in my book. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blahblah.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blah blah"> she just wants her life to be as simple as possible while 'on duty' but whatever. she can deal with having to lay down with one girl if it's needed and most likely she won't and your dd is smart enough to know the difference between daycare and mommy time at home. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br>
just keep nursing your wonderful dd!!
 

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My ds is in daycare full-time and we've decided to try to make a distinction between home and daycare. The easiest was the toys - daycare toys stay there; we have different ones at home (for the most part).<br><br>
I let them use a pacifier (he really likes to suck/chew these days) but we don't use one at home. And at home, we nurse - no bottles unless I have to go out without ds.
 

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My son's been in daycare since 6.5 weeks & has always (ALWAYS) nursed to sleep at home. He has never had an issue with napping at daycare & they have never had an issue with him napping there. They used to pat him to sleep, but now he just goes to sleep on his own there (he's 22 months). He still "needs" to nurse to sleep at home.<br><br>
Maybe the difference is that it's been his reality for so long (since he was a newborn), while your child is older when starting daycare?<br><br>
I can't say for sure, but I think she is probably old enough to make the distinction and will get there soon enough. I just REALLY hope that the DCP can be patient enough with her. Otherwise... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
Good luck!!!<br><br>
Laura
 

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Yes, just ignore that woman! Even if she *did* have her own children, odds are that she would still recommend that in order to make her own job easier. Besides, even if you did stop nursing her to sleep, you wouldn't just put her in bed and leave her alone to fall asleep - you'd parent her to sleep some other way. Therefore, she'd *still* expect someone to do it at daycare, at least until she adjusts. The woman must be crazy not to realize that - either that or she expects you to let her CIO.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thanks so much for your replies. They helped me realize that I am not alone and I needed that reality check after this first week as a daycare Mom. I'm definately nursing dd on demand. I think I will have to send dh to daycare next week at naptime to see what is actually going down. This way he can ask them to give her a little extra TLC if necessary. They have been great about that otherwise, like when she wakes up after 40 minutes one of the directors will come down or take her into the office where the teachers are having lunch and she hangs out with them. They also come in if she has a hard time settling in for the day so she can be held more.<br><br>
I think it will get better, and I think having dh check it out in action will help too. Thanks again for your support. It's so nice to know that there are other like-minded mama's out there that want their baby's needs put first even when we can't be there to do it first hand!
 

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I think our kids are smart enough to know the difference between daycare and home, so even if you refused to nurse at naptime it wouldn't make it "easier" for the DCP, because your dd will develop different patterns there than at home.<br><br>
Ironically, for the year that ds was in daycare (from 21 to 31 months) after a hard initial adjustment period he became an excellent napper at daycare even though it has been a struggle for a long time to get him to nap!! I think it was the peer pressure - all the little kids would get out their cots and blankets at the same time - not to mention that the schedule and the routine were the same every day, which I have never been able to manage.<br><br>
Keep on nursing and parenting the way that you think best! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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Yeah, really. I worked at a daycare and all 4 of us teachers would lay down with the kids, usually next to 1 or 2 who really needed it b/c it helped them sleep better. Gimme a break. My ds was in about 6 daycares (mainly b/c we moved a lot) before I got married and became a SAHM and there was only 1 where teachers didn't lie down w/ the kids or at least sit next to and rub the backs of the ones who had trouble getting to sleep. Well actually, more like 3, but 2 of those were while he was young enough to be rocked to sleep and that's what they did. If that's the only problem you have w/ her daycare teachers, no biggie, she'lll be fine, and if she has trouble napping, theyll at least rub her back. THat's pretty standard from what I've seen. But if you have any other issues (even just a gut feeling that things aren't quite right.), I would start looking for a new place before things get worse.
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">She said, "I don't want to tell you what to do, but if I were you I would try not to nurse her to sleep for nap so she won't get confused."</div>
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This is total nonsense. Your dc knows that he can't nurse the women who work there right? Of course he does! DC will get this figured out too. He is going through a period of adjustment and will come to realize that he doesn't nurse to sleep at daycare but can nurse to sleep when you are around. That might take more than 5 days but he'll get it... sooner than you think.<br><br>
My ds goes to daycare. I only work part-time but he does nap there a couple of days a week. IMO, daycares support bf'ing up to a year but after that when the baby doesn't 'need' it anymore, you get much more of opinion against it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
I nearly started WWIII at ds's daycare when they wasted 20 oz of breastmilk b/c he 'had' to drink out of a sippie by 12 months so they kept pouring it out of the bottle I sent and into a sippie. Of course, he wanted nothing to do with the sippie so they'd pour it out. The second day this happened they called me b/c they were 'worried' he would drink his b.m. and wanted to know what else they could give him. (First I'd heard of it...) I was so hoppin' mad... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hopmad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hopping mad"> I was lucky to have a teacher there that pointed out that the sippie standard was started by the gov't b/c they didn't want to pay for formula anymore after one year!!! I'm lucky to have a AP advocate at ds's school but some of the others... don't get me started. If they knew he still nursed, I'm sure they'd argue I was damaging him somehow. DS is almost 2 now and doesn't take b.m. at school anymore so it is no longer an issue but I feel your pain!<br><br><br>
Trust me, your dc will get this sorted out - don't listen to this nonsense!
 

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I agree with the previous posters. If your DD just started daycare this week, she is still in an adjustment period. Plus, she's older, so the adjustment might take longer than a much younger child. But that said, she will adjust. My ds has always nursed to sleep at home, too, and has no problem napping at daycare. In fact, he naps quite wonderfully at daycare.<br><br>
I think sometimes dcp's forget that there's a difference between parenting and providing childcare. My dcp sometimes, too, makes suggestions that are really quite unhelpful because she thinks that if ds does something at daycare then he should be doing it at home, too (i.e. if he can sleep in a crib at daycare, why shouldn't he sleep in a crib at home, too). I would give it a little time...I'm sure your daughter will adjust and learn, especially if she's napping in the same room as other children. She will start to get the routine, she will see what the others are doing, and I'm quite certain she will soon be able to nap there quite easily.<br><br>
Good luck. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Good Lord. I'd be tempted to give her bossy advice about something personal in her life. Maybe her sex life.<br><br>
Does she tell you not to hug your child at home, in case she doesn't have time to hug her as often, at day care?<br><br>
Is she prejudiced against nursing past one year? If so the best revenge might be bombarding her with pro-toddler-nursing references. I'd be FURIOUS.<br><a href="http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/index.html" target="_blank">http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/index.html</a>
 

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You've been given great advice and I just wanted to agree.<br><br>
DS nursed every 1-2 hours a night until he was 3 (and now, at almost four, goes 4-5 hours) BUT almost a year ago he slept over with his Nana & Poppa and didn't ask to nurse once. Give kids some credit--- does she think your 16 month old sees *any* breasts and tries to nurse <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">.
 
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