[smeta]

Ok, so the clothes are fine, she's been wearing them for months! It started with her shoes - they are never tied tight enough for her. But suddenly, the pants aren't tight enough around her waist, tights feel funny, underwear are too big or too small, etc., etc. Is is driving us crazy. Dh though maybe she is doing it for attention, but I really think she actually doesn't like how they feel. We are not going to buy new clothes, I'm sure they'd have the same issues!!

Does anyone else have any experience with this?

Please help!

 

[chel]

My dd went through something similar. She's always been a high-needs dc so I'm use to her somewhat intense needs. For dd is was she couldn't handle anything around her waist (pants, skirts, panties). I just took her to a thrift store and let her pick out anything that would "work" for her. While she liked dresses, she wouldn't wear panties uder it, so dresses were a no go in most public settings. She found a pair of overalls (and only this certain pair would do, and lived in that for 1 1/2yrs, she did have 2 summer shortalls she liked. We moved at the end of that time and 1 month after the move she came up to me and said "look, I can now wear panties!".

 

[mommyto3girls]

Sarah- My neighbor's dd has issues with clothes also. Refused to wear panties (or dipes) for the longest time because they don't feel right, will not wear any pants that zip, only soft pull on style, tries on 20 pairs of shoes at Stride Right before deciding on a pair that feel okay and then decides after a week that they hurt also (my dd now has a beautiful selection of Stride Rights as Nikki is 1 size larger and we get her barely worn hand me downs)

Nikki has been seeing a counselor for a few months now to discuss these and a few other things (refusing to poop in the potty even though she had been pee trained for over a year, food aversions, extreme sensitivity to sounds etc) I have noticed a huge change in her. She is still particular about her clothes and how they feel, but she is wearing them and not fighting (and pooping in the potty!

 

[smeta]

Thanks for your story chel, it's good to know maybe she'll outgrow it sooner or later.

mommyto3 - Interesting....dh said yesterday, out of frustration, 'so what do we do, take her to a pyscologist?!?'. I guess if things get worse, we may be headed in that direction.

 

[storeimy]

Oh boy do I know how this goes. My 8 yr old has issues with her clothes. She used to be very easy in this area but this year she is refusing to wear the jeans we bought her this summer that SHE picked out. She doesn't like the way they feel, too bunchy, too big, too tight, too low. She seems to be happy with herself and her body, it seems to be more of a comfort issue. She'll wear tights and skirts and some sweatpants but has issues with jeans. I also have a 4 yr old with the same clothing quirks and possibly even more so. She absolutely refuses to wear most of her clothing, instead rotating between one pair of jeans, one skirt and about two short sleeved shirts(which poses a problem since it is getting cold now). So every morning we do the same frantic search for something-ANYTHING that she'll agree to wear. For most of her third year she wore a black leotard and a purple tutu. At first it was cute, but then it got ridiculous and she would freak if it was in the laundry and wouldn't wear anything over it in the cold weather. It's been tough with the both of them and some mornings I find myself very short on patience. I try to work with them and my mantra remains that as long as it's seasonally appropriate, I don't care what it is. Some mornings they go out looking ridiculous but I'd rather just try to work through this without making it too big of an issue.

 

[mamababamba]

My ds went through this just as he was turning four, I was so worried I would not be able to get him in a coat this winter....he did not want anything covering his favorite shirts, would tell me the colors I picked out were not handsome, the shoes were always too loose or too tight and just as he turned four he would ask if they were 3 year old pants because if they were 4 year old pants he was not going to wear them.....while I was starting to think I was going to need a shrink, he has mellowed out the last few weeks and I think it was a phase. Hope your "phase" is over soon too!

 

[hu*singing*mom]

I know that these clothing preferences can be linked to sensory integration issues (we ALL have sensory preferences but some of us have more sensitivities than others). There is a great book on working with different sensory styles :The Out of Sync Child by Kranowitz and Silver. Hope the book helps however, just take what is helpful from it; i.e. as I said I think we all have different sensory styles and our preferences and levels of sensitivity can change as we grow; sensitivity doesn't neccessarily mean "wrong" just challenging. Love & Best wishes.

 

[smeta]

glad to know where not the only ones with these issues!

thank you hu-singing! I knew there was a name to describe that sensation and couldn't put my finger on it!! I'll check out the book.

 

[OakBerry]

Yes, I have experience with this, that was ME when I was 4,5,6...
I had many issues with clothing. My shoes were never tight enough, and if one shoe was tied tighter than the other one, I had to have my mom or sisters re-do it until it felt right. It was the 70's, so I wore dresses alot, and I had to have the sashes around the waist tied so tight they looked ridiculous. My knee socks felt funny on my legs. I hated the sock bunched up inside my shoes. Plus lot of fabric (the dresses) was made of itchy lace and polyester. I would only wear one pair of shoes (slip ons) for a long time.
Looking back, I suspect sensory integration disorder. It passed, eventually but my mom had no idea how to deal with it. She yelled at me and forced clothes on me. Basically I had to "deal with it".
My ds, now 3, has some issues with clothing as well, hates collars of any kind and certain fabrics.
I would try to find what clothes your dd likes and try to let her wear those, stick to non irritating fabrics etc.

I had my son evaluated by early intervention services (referred by his pediatrician) because of his clothing issues and other issues. They said he didn't need services but he had some mild sensory issue for sure. They gave me alot of helpful tips to deal with the sensory issues.

 

[sagewinna]

THis is my 11 year old.

Over the years, I have just learned to be flexible. It's hard for me not to take it personally if I get him a nice shirt and he never wears it because it's tooo (itchy, tight, whatever!) but I know that it's not something he can conrtol. If he finds a pair of pants that work, I buy several. Sometimes this works and sometimes the pants start bothering him and we start again... He really likes tennis shoes with velcro straps, they are easy to tighten and re-tighten to his satisfaction. He likes ankle socks most of the time, the elastic isn't as tight. It's a never ending quest!

 

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

I wonder if there might be an allergy to the laundry soap or other product? There are about 2 laundry products that I can use on my clothes. Anything else and things itch, just enough to be annoying, not enough to leave a red mark or anything. And they itch where clothes touch the body most -- at the waist, at the crotch, under the arms, around the ankle for socks, and at the toes... Maybe to a child that would be feeling like it doesn't fit correctly?

 

[hipem]

Ugh, such a struggle with this some days - my four year old DD is pretty spirited/intense and when she is having rough days, it's like nothing is comfortable. Some days it's easier for me to accept this, other days I have a really hard time not geting super frustrated, especially after putting lots of effort into getting her clothes with no zippers, stretchy, socks with soft seems, etc. Mainly she is naked around the house or in dress ups and I try to just let her pick out her own clothes and live with her choices and almost always bring along an extra soft outfit.

Emily

 

[Mere]

Dd (3.5) is very sensitive about clothing too, and I have wasted a lot of money buying clothes that she won't wear. So, for the past year anytime we have bought *anything* we make her try it on. Extensively. Shoes - I have her walk around in the store for a while and wear them while I take a *really* long time shopping/looking for myself. Clothes - I have her try them on and walk around in them, bend, whatever.

I know you said you weren't going to buy her new clothes, so I'm not sure what to do there. I'd hate to get into battles every morning though...maybe you could just go to a second-hand store and pick up a few items that she has tried on and personally okay-ed?

 

[Marlet]

Does she have any ocd triats? When I was in the second grade I had issues with how tight my clothes were. I would pull my belt so tight it would leave marks in my skin. That was my "first" ocd issue. I've never been diagnosed as someone with that officially but it's one of the many things I fight with daily. Just a thought.

 

[smeta]

Thanks for all the suggestions!