[Summertime Mommy]

My 21 month old dd does not want anything to do with her dad at all! I know it hurts his feelings and I don't understand why she acts that way towards him. Sometimes she will have moments where she acts this way to almost everyone, but with dh, it is constant. She will not let him kiss her, pick her up, read a book to her, or anything. It is crazy. She will only get near him when I am out of the room and no one else at all is around. Otherwise, all his attempts at affection are met by an "uh, uh, uh" which is her no! I'll give an example, yesterday she and I were sitting on the bed looking a a word book while dh was getting dressed for work and I was telling dh how well she was doing saying all the words I pointed to, so he came and sat down next to us, and she immediately started screaming "mine!" pulled the book close to her and pushed her dad away. I din't know how to gewt her to like him more, and I have never experienced anything like this with my other kids. Does anyone have any insight? I keep telling myself this will pass, but I think that maybe I could be doing something to help her get past it sooner.

 

[gr33nie]

My DS is 9 months right now and he is having similar issues. DH works from home and since birth has been involved with every night waking (when he was younger it was changing the diaper and now it's burping him by walking around for 10 min. w/DS sleepin on his shoulder because of his GERD). So, needless to say he has been VERY involved and attached, yet everytime I hand DS to DH he screams and whines!

Your child is a bit older and I wonder if in the case of reading the book it's not that DD doesn't like DH but she doesn't want DH to 'steal' your time from her?

Like she's jealous of having to share your attention with him?

I don't have kids that age so that is just a WILD guess but I can kind of relate to you right now so I just wanted to chime in

 

[Summertime Mommy]

I thought of that, but I don't really think thats it. DH swears it is because she is nursing and that may be a contributing factor, but I don't think that's the whole issue. She won't even let him unbuckle her carseat, she would rather sit in the car for however long it takes for me to go and unbuckle her. If I am busy doing something, like cooking, or something, she would rather stand at my feet and cry to be picked up than have her dad come and pick her up right away. I am a SAHM, and all of the other kids go to school except for her so she gets plenty of time with me. I guess she could be beginning to think that she is supposed to have alone time w/ me all the time and her dad is just a sub for when I am not around. When I am near she won't even give him a hug or kiss unless we are leaving and she is telling him goodbye. Do you think that maybe giving them more alone time might help? I am not sure.

 

[Korimomto2]

I'm sorry you're having this issue...but I'm glad you brought it up because we have the SAME PROBLEM! It's so frustrating, especially because like your dh, mine INSISTS it's because he's **** nursing. GRRR...I know that can't be the problem! I'm torn between it's a developmental thing or it's because my dh isn't always...well...nice. He's not mean or anything, he just doesn't have nearly as much patience/tolerance as I do for a lot of things. He gets frustrated and whines and complains about stuff our ds does that is totally normal for his age (18mos).

So, really I have absolutely no advuce, just

 

[blessed]

We had that same issue around your dc's age. Now that dd's a bit older I think that she actually likes some of the traits in her papa that used to be a turn off to her. The way he's sort of oblivious and brusque with her. It's a nice contrast to my attentiveness and constant gentleness, I think.

When they're young all of their needs are met by mama. But as they mature they look for other kinds of relationships as well, and that's when papa starts to be more interesting to them.

 

[straighthaircurly]

Whenever my ds went through stages like this it meant he wasn't spending enough alone time with his daddy. I recommend making yourself scarce for a big chunk of a day and let them do some special activities together. Whenever I did that my ds started wanting to be around daddy more even when I was around.

 

[Thalia the Muse]

I agree with PP -- since she doesn't act like this when he is the only adult, give them lots of time together without you. He can take her to the park, or you can disappear to a bookstore for browsing and fooffy coffee drinks and read a bunch of books and ... oh sorry, I sort of drifted off into a reverie there.

But basically, give them daddy-daughter time and let her reconnect with him.