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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Recently dd has been stripping off her diapers while we're home. We're starting to potty trin so I'm glad she does it. So she's pantsless for most of the day. While lounging around or watching tv she often puts her fingers on or in her vagina. Personally I don't think this is a problem, she's only 2 (in 3 weeks). I don't want to tell her not to for fear she'll think it's dirty or wrong but do I just let it go? She does it over at her gp house too and I don't know how comfy they are with it.<br><br>
Do I tell her to stop, that only pee pee goes there, her hands need to be clean, ???
 

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The less of a deal you make of this, the better. If you draw attention to it , she may use it as an attention getter. My dd went through a stage like that too, but after awhile I think her curiosity got satisfied and she no longer does it.<br><br>
Darshani
 

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My 19mo has been doing this since she could reach her vagina. It's a constant - every time her diaper is off, her fingers are in her vagina. She'll also try to get in there with her diaper on and gets frustrated when she can't. I've decided to just let it go. It really is natural and normal. They do it not only out of curiosity but it also feels good so why should they stop. However, it can be a bit uncomfortable for those who have to watch it. At this age if you make a big deal out of it, it will seem like a big deal to her and it's really not. I think it makes my mom a bit uncomfortable but she just rolls with things and doesn't say anything to her which I'm glad about. Hopefully this stage will pass soon <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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My daughter has been doing it forever. She really digs in deep too. Once she was doing it on my MIL’s kitchen floor and I just looked at MIL and said, “Well, it is her body”. Luckily, MIL agreed.
 

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Hi, I have a 21 moth old little girl who also likes to explore her vulva. I don't think it is a big deal at all. I just tell her that her vulva is a special, private part that she can touch at home, but not in front of others. I give her plebty of time to touch without her diaper on. She doesn't do it nearly as often now. As an added benefit, her body awareness has blossomed and she will wash her own vulva when I ask her to while in the bathtub!<br><br>
Gretchen
 

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dd does that too and so do boys. Its normal behavior. I would explain that we only touch our vulvas in private because other people shouldn't see them. Hopefully she will understand that.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks everyone <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I don't treat it like a big thing and I think she understands that its not. I'm sure it will pass.
 

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I personally do not allow masturbation as its against my religious beliefs. From the time my children are born when there hand strayed there I just took it away and said we don't touch there. There has never been an issue and neither ever tries to masturbate. It is not a shame issue or control issue just something I believe and my kids are very matter of fact about it. They couldn't care less!
 

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<br><br>
Kailey is 30 months old and used to do it frequently, but I never said anything to her concerning it, unless it was to teach her what her vagina was called. "That's your yoni."<br><br>
Letting a child explore their own body IMO isn't mastrubation, but self awareness. I want my children to know their bodies, be aware of the various feelings and sensations associated with their body parts, and be able to tell me if something is amiss.
 

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My 18mo dd does this all the time. I dont find it to be a huge deal at all. Althought, dh and I are afraid we will find some left over food inside her!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"><br><br>
She has been doing this since about 16 mo and has been going strong ever since.... If I told her no every time she did it I would never do anything else.<br><br>
I have little panties for her and when I put them (or anything else) on she does not do it so I do have a little controll. We are beging potty training so she is naked offten.
 

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19 mo dd does this too. Never wants to pull diaper off to "get to it" but if she's running around naked she'll sit down and have a go. I really doubt it's anything sexual at all and I ignore it pretty much. It's an energy center and she's probably just figuring out she has energy down there. I also think masturbation and whatever else is normal and I'll encourage her to ask me questions when she's curious.<br><br>
I'd let it go unless it gets compulsive or weird... which it shouldn't!<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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im surprised noone is bothered by this.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by Heavenly</i><br><b>I personally do not allow masturbation as its against my religious beliefs. From the time my children are born when there hand strayed there I just took it away and said we don't touch there. There has never been an issue and neither ever tries to masturbate. It is not a shame issue or control issue just something I believe and my kids are very matter of fact about it. They couldn't care less!</b></td>
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im sure that they care. and they will definitely care as they get older and have sexual relationships. im sorry you feel this way. i wish you didnt. if its not a shame issue, what is it? isnt it shame that disallows masturbation?<br><br><br>
and as far as littletrees little one, i think all the other mamas are right on, the less a deal you make of it the better!
 

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Well, I felt pretty sad to see "Heavenly's" response. Heavely, please re-think your position on this...research it too. Relgious beliefs or not, humans are humans and I really think you are sending a message of shame to your children. I'm certain that experts would agree that if you teach your children that "we don't touch there", that they will grow up thinking it is a bad place (perhaps a dirty place). I'm concerned for your children.<br><br>
Children exploring their bodies is a normal part of learning about themselves. (Some of the literature may say that if they are so preoccupied w/it that they are not interested in anything else, it could be a sign of stress, but you just need to know your child.) It can bring about a sense of discomfort in us and force us to examine our own sexuality.<br><br>
When my DD does it, I behave matter-of-factly about it, we sometimes talk about what it is, what we call her parts...I give her information and we talk about the "wonderfulness" of how God created us.
 

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My 30 mo DD does this as well, whenever her diaper is off, which is frequently since we're working on potty-training. I feel very strongly that it's her body and that if she wants to touch it it's her right.<br><br>
I'm trying so hard as a mother not to pass on to my DDs the bodily hang-ups that I was taught as a child. I don't really know how to accomplish this, I just feel like the best thing for me to do is to let her explore her own body in her own way. My policy is not to make a big deal out of it. She did it once in front of my MIL, who was appalled, so I try to keep the diaper on when we're not alone. Probably a good idea anyway<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I certainly agree that this is NOT masturbation. Although even that is something my children will be allowed to explore in their own way as they grow older. If I had religious objections to it I think that would mean it was not right for ME. I of course plan to teach my religious beliefs to my children, but I don't plan to force them on my children. They won't embrace something they aren't allowed to choose for themselves anyway. JMHO.
 

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It really is natural to explore openings and crevices, for toddlers. Just like their noses, bellybuttons, eyes, etc. It doesn't sound like any of them are truly stimulating themselves (though that is not evil, either <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">: ). I understand completely and sympathize with your religious conviction, Heavenly, but I think you might set yourself up for worse/power struggle/sexual issue kind of problems later if you don't let them explore their bodies in the normal way that children do. Have you fully studied the issue in scripture yourself, or are you just going along with the party line teaching on it? Something to really consider.
 

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What she is doing is perfectly normal. I was lucky enough to be raised by parents that understood that. I've raised my dd the same way. The most I've ever said (when she was around 4 I said this) was that it's something she could do in the privacy of her room.<br><br>
As far as masturbation, I've been close with people that were raised to think it's bad and wrong. I cannot tell you the long term problems that this caused.
 

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Theories of human sexuality also differentiates this pleasurable touching from masterbation (masterbabtion has more of a sexual fanasy element to it). Babies/todlers touch themselves or explore (whatever you want to call it), and it is sensual but not sexual. It is similar to the pleasure a baby/todler gets from sucking, and we'd never think to prohibit this or tell the todler that sucking is only done in private.<br><br>
This interest in genetalia usually disapears for a while (becomes latent) between 4-8. Sexual fantasies begin at 8 (though I remember them begining earlier - like at 6; I called them "bad dreams" and was pretty ashmamed of them despite my parents being very open and accepting of sexuality. Perhaps this shame is hardwired into us?). The masterbabtion thing actually begins for real with puberty.<br><br>
It seems to me that most religious prohibitions would be talking about what is going on at 8 or at puberty?
 

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Yesterday MIL and I went garage saling and at one of our stops Kailey had an accident. Since MIL came at 6:30 and didn't call ahead of time I was rushing to get out the door and left Kailey's change of clothing- GRRRR!!! We just made frequent stops for going potty, but missed one <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> So, anyway...I didn't have any panties, but luckily we had just made a killing on some clothes for her, so I put her in a dress.<br><br>
When we got back in the car and started driving MILturned and saw Kailey touching herself, she shouted, "DON'T YOU DO THAT!"<br><br>
Of course I corrected her immediately by saying, "DONT YOU SAY THAT TO HER!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> and explained WHY her words were inappropriate and could be damaging(of course she doesn't buy any of it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">:<br><br>
She said her mother always taught her to be modest and to keep her privates to herself, to 'protect' them. She told me stories of when she was a young woman and of sex. How could she relate a TWO year old airing herself to a grown woman having sex....UGH<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hammer.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hammer"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead"><br><br>
Anyway, just wanted to share a recent personal experience on this <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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anyone who thinks a toddler or baby is capable of masturbation is just sick <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><br><br>
my DD does this too.. It is not a big deal.. she has learned what 90% of her body parts are called & how they work so its just natural she would want to know about the one covered by a diaper & she doesent get too see..<br>
she hasent showed any interest in potty training yet ..so she is in diaper almost all the time..<br><br>
I really need to start encouraging training though & need to figure out what we will call her privates & how we will address her messing with them<br><br>
right now we dont really address it at all.. if she starts doing it I say lets go get a diaper.. if she is in the bath I give her a wash cloth & tell her to wash herself..
 
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