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Well, we have been under a lot of stress lately. My partner and I have decided to split up. There have been minimal fights between us, but tensions are high. My soon to be 3 yr old, understands she and I will be living togther and that papa is going to get another house...this seemed to be OK with her, well sort of until I talked with her about how we have to move too.<br><br>
She wants to stay where we are, but I can not afford the rent on my own. I have been looking for a place for us that is affordable, but have found that having a toddler is a definete strike against us as potential tenants. I have been turned down by about 25 in-law studio's, here in Berkeley even! UGH!<br><br>
Anyway, a friend of mine has a beautiful home in a much safer neighborhood then where we are now (no drug dealers or hookers!) It is her mom's house so it would be a stable environment. We are familiar with the home, she has been watched there a few times while I am working. She used to love going over there. I could also really benefit from the support of another single mom. I mean I really need some support here! My friend has an almost 5yr. old and our kids used to get a long great. The 5 yr. old is so excited we are going to move in. But DD is so pissed! She says daily that she hates the other child, hates the house, wants to stay where we are, doesn't want to move into their house. She is so stressed and sad that we will be moving. I am afriad that it will be such a hard transition that it may not even work out at all. and we'll have no where to live....any ideas on how to tranisition easier? I am feeling like this is train wreak waiting to happen. We are moving in on Nov. 1 and probably start moving stuff over slowly on OCT 15 or so.<br>
Thanks for reading...<br>
walking with beauty thru the muddy yuk!<br>
-dancingbear
 

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It sounds like you've got a lot going on.<br>
I guess the best thing I would say would be to allow your daughter to express herself.<br>
My son is a real creature of habit and we talked a lot about moving before we actually did. He still expressed his concerns & why did we have to move etc. Even now, he still asks sometimes why we don't live at "daddy's house anymore".<br>
I found that my kids followed my lead most of the time so when I was okay with things, they would come around.<br>
Another idea -- there are homeopathic remedies that help people adjust to new ideas & change. Maybe you could find out more about that & it would be a tool to help get through this transition a little easier.
 

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I happen to see your posting...and even though i'm not a single parent.... I was the daughter of a single mom so I have a sensitivity to this particular forum..very dear to my heart.<br><br>
my own small thought, is that I think your daughter's sadness about daddy and the split up may be transfered to the house and the fear about moving.<br>
I think the new arrangements will be less scary once you settle into your new routine. I agree with the other poster, listen to her and do the move bit by bit. Some new routines might also be good.. walk in the neighborhood..find the pretty flowers..new park, etc.<br><br>
good luck...from one who once was little.
 

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Maybe you can invite the other child to the park to play... let your daughter see that she has a good time, and truly enjoys spending time with her friend... I'm sure she will come around. I agree that she is associating the move with "losing" her dad, and the world where she currently feels secure. Definitely let her talk about it... getting out her feelings is good.
 
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