[Gabrielle's Mom]

I really wanna be a GD/GBD mama... thoughts appreciated!

Tonight we went to a church thingy and DD sat so well for 1.5 hours on my lap and my mom's lap. She colored, read her books, played with her little flashcards and such. She was such a doll!

When it was over, she wanted to run which I totally understand, but we were all cleaning up the atrium and the floor is ceramic tile (read: no give, potential for major owies!) My mom and I kept telling her to walk, and I went to catch her and she ran across the fellowship hall that is attached to the atrium.

I caught her cause she ran into a corner and couldn't run anymore. I told her "please don't run from mommy, you need to stay where mommy and maw maw can see you. please walk" in a stern, worried voice. She did run a little more, but I went to her and whispered in her ear "please walk, mommy doesnt want you to fall and get hurt" and she did walk and was fine.

Thoughts?

 

[alegna]

I think you did great!

-Angela

 

[Gabrielle's Mom]

Thanks... it's just hard when so many people think hitting a child is okay.

And then there is this desire within me to "win" for lack of a better word, KWIM? Like I'm the mom and I am always in control of my kid, etc.

DD was a total angel all through the program and I know she just needed to let loose. I guess that comment just really bugged me because #1 hitting isn't okay, #2 DD was within my line of sight once I went to get her and #3 it's not like we were in a parking lot where a car could have gotten her...

The odd thing is, when we're out in a parking lot, she sticks to me like glue. So I know she "get's it".

 

[alegna]

I go off when I hear people speak of hitting children. Especially MY child. That person would have gotten a rather unpleasant piece of my mind.

:

-Angela

 

[Gabrielle's Mom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by alegna I go off when I hear people speak of hitting children. Especially MY child. That person would have gotten a rather unpleasant piece of my mind. : -Angela

I felt like I didn't have "control" since she ran in the first place, which is totally silly because she did end up listening to me, without tears and without hitting. She understood she had to walk. I know it was my own perception that I didn't have "control" because she was inside, she stopped when I reminded her again, etc. So she did what was appropriate and safe.

I really believe she was just so antsy, but I felt inadequate and when I heard the comment for a second I thought "would she have run away if I was a spanker" and I know she still would have because spanking does NOT make your children into perfect little people... but I just didn't know what to say to the person who commented...

I was raised in a spanking home and you know how churches spew the "spare the rod" stuff

:

Sometimes I wonder if I'm insane for not agreeing... but then I snap out of it and realize I am right... and hitting is wrong.

 

[alegna]

 

[Greensleeves]

It is so hard when others' external pressures and expectations battle with what you know is right. I struggle with this ALL the time myself. It is so frustrating. You know you did the right thing and you understand your toddler's nature. My dd would not be able to sit that long. I was reading about how it feels to be a young child who is unable to move about and expend energy, their muscles feel like they are buzzing. So it was totally understandable that she would want to let off some steam afterwards. The person who said that to you should be ashamed of themselves. Honestly!

 

[maya44]

Look, I am one of the least AP moms here. I do have an "expectation" that my children listen.

BUT them NOT listening does NOT mean that they are somehow "bad" or I am doing something wrong.

NOR does it mean that they should be hit! First and foremost I assume you like me think hitting your child is wrong. So, its "off the table" as an option.

Moreover, let's face it, kids who are spanked once still have occassions when they don't listen. So spanking is not keeping them from "disobeying". Its merely deliberately hurting them as a punishment for doing so.

No child is going to listen to a parent every time, unless they are so abused and terrified of their parents that what you have is an appaling tragedly.

You handled things perfectly. If someone else is upset because you showed them that a child does not need to be hit, that is their problem.

 

[Gabrielle's Mom]

Thanks ladies. Yes, I too believe hitting a child is wrong.I realize kids will be kids and my DD needed to run. I also know I did the right thing...

Thanks ladies, you'll be seeing a lot of me cause I need a lot of help.