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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
In our family we do some, but not many "pop culture" kind of things that other families do. So far this has not been an issue for our DD who is 7. For instance she's never seen "Hannah Montana" or "High School Musical" or listened to the songs. She knows who that is obviously because other girls are so into it. But in the past when the subject came up at home she said she didn't like Hannah Montana. Well the other night at a Brownie meeting we were doing a craft and a couple other girls started singing a song which was apparently a Hannah Montana song. One of the girls said "I'm Hannah Montana's biggest fan!" and then my DD relied "I love Hannah Montana!" So I was kind of surprised.<br><br>
So later that night I asked her why she had said that when I thought she didn't like Hannah Montana. She said she did it because she "wanted to fit in." Then she told me that other kids at school are also talking about Webkinz all the time. We of course don't have any webkinz, and she's never asked for one. But she told me that a girl at school asked her if she had one and she said yes. I asked her why she lied and she said "to fit in."<br><br>
I feel like I didn't handle it very well. I just told her it wasn't right to say things like that that weren't true and that there's nothing wrong with saying you don't like things that other people do. What should I have said? This is really bothering me because I think this kind of thing is just likely to get worse unless we address it now.
 

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From what I understand, your dd hasn't watched Hannah Montana so it's not so much an issue that she doesn't like it, but that she chooses not to watch it.<br><br>
I see that as being different. If she had watched it, then decided she didn't like it that would be one thing.<br><br>
Perhaps you could discuss other responses than the one she gave.<br><br>
FE could she say "I've heard of that show" and then change the subject to something that she can talk about.<br><br>
ETA: I do think, TBH, that's it would not a great idea, especially if one wants to not stand out, to bring up the topic of why "Hannah Montana" is not appropriate viewing material. I know that can come up sometime but I don't think it's helpful to dwell on it.
 

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We're handling a similar issue on the boys side. I can emphasize with how hard it is to be an individual ALL the time, especially when you are just 7. We find that my son wants to know what they are talking about, and not necessarily get immersed in it. He came home asking for a Webkinz so I started asking him about it, asked his about interest and explained that he would need to fit it into his regular computer time (1 hr on Sat only). We then spent about 10 minutes looking them up and he could see how much they cost and what they were all about. He hasn't asked about them since.<br><br>
That's his personality though, he wants to be in the know about everything. Once the glitter is off though, the issue is done.<br><br>
He came home the other day talking about Green Day and how they were his favorite band, although as far as he knows he has never heard their music (I used to play an old CD for him, but why sully the point . . .). Anyway, my DH played three songs for him -one Beatles, one Green Day and one Beach Boys and asked him to pick his favorite (kinda like a taste test). The Beach Boys won and from then on he goes around saying the Beach Boys are the best. We really didn't care if Green Day was his favorite, but it was good for him to feel he has listened and chosen.<br><br>
For things he wants to buy, we explain the cost and give him opportunities to make it. He hates work though <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> so it often just goes away. We tell him we prefer to keep "mean-spirited" things out, but most things we just wait him out on.<br><br>
We try very hard not to judge the things in his world, although some we go heavier on than others (violent video games that his friends discuss) -meaning that we explain more about our feelings.<br><br>
Who knows what the right thing to do in the long run is though . . .
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>almama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10713009"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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We try very hard not to judge the things in his world, although some we go heavier on than others (violent video games that his friends discuss) -meaning that we explain more about our feelings.<br><br>
Who knows what the right thing to do in the long run is though . . .</div>
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Thanks. I think that's a good approach I hadn't really thought of doing more investigation of these things so *she* can decide what she likes and doesn't like.
 
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