[sun-shine01]

This was dd's (3.5) second week at preshool (Tuesday & Thursday 9-2).

We signed her in, put her lunch in the fridge, walked to her classroom, she sat in her spot and started to color the page her teacher set out for them to do.

I kissed the top of her head to leave and then she stands up and follows me to the door saying that she doesn't want to stay and that she is scared but i can see by the look in her eyes that it is drama and not fear. She is fake pouting and so after talking to her we decide to leave (using rev psychology here) we sign out, get her lunch and head o the car. We get the door open and I tell her that I have work to do today and that I won't be able to play with her because I had planned for her to be in school, that if she stays she will be singing songs, playing on the playground, being with the other kiddos, etc. So she decides that she will stay.

Back into the school. Sign her back in, lunch to the fridge, I walk back into her classroom and she stands at the door. She won't come in. Now the teacher is cleaning up the coloring project and getting the kiddo to sit on the rug. They start singing songs. DD will not come in and so we leave - Now I'm a little PEEVED. This process has taken about 30 minutes and I'm holding my 24 pound 7 month old the whole time. We get back to the car I tell her that I have to work at home and I will not be able to play with her. Then I remember that I have my very first session TODAY with a therapist that lasts 1.5 hours - I had to delay starting therapy (which I desperatley need) so that I could schedule the sessions while DD was in preschool. Now I have to take her with me which will be a nightmare.

I'm a little PEEVED that her teacher did not try any intervention techniques to get DD to stay.

What the H*** am I going to do to get her there on Thursday. She needs social interaction and I need some 1 on 1 with the baby.

DD is a very social, smart, funny kid and I KNOW this somekind of drama thing and that she has a great time at school. She did the same thing at ps last year but her teacher then was great at drop-off time and dd did fine.

 

[mommy68]

I do NOT mean this in a bad way, but I would have left her, plain and simple. I'm sorry but she sounds like she is just still going through that initial phase that all kids go through in the first few weeks of something like a new preschool or daycare.

: You really shouldn't have given in to her because now it will be much harder to convince her to stay. She knows that she can get her way now and make you take her with you.

I would have a talk with the teacher before taking her back the next time. If you have to just call and ask her to call you back at home one evening. There's no reason why she couldn't have taken time out to drop what she was doing and help this child get acclimated in to the classroom.

I've never witnessed that type of teacher in all the years I've dealt with schools and daycares. I feel it's very odd that she didn't speak up and help you out! I assure you that your child isn't the first that has not wanted to stay at school. The teachers are "supposed" to be trained to deal with that type of situation. I've just never met a teacher that didn't impose somehow in the situation and try to pry one of my kids out of my arms at that age. That's what they are supposed to do unless the parent tells them otherwise.

If the teacher won't work with you on this then I would suggest calling the director of the school and talking with them and letting them know you need a teacher that can help you with getting your daughter to get adjusted during these early weeks of school. This is something totally new for your daughter (from what you've said) and she has to get used to someone else's rules and expectations of her on these days whereas she is used to mommy all day every day. It's quite a change for her but you can't give in. I know it's tougher on you than it is her probably, but I would work on making her stay.

Another thing I wanted to mention is a drop off. Does her school have a drop off where you can drive up in your car and have someone come out to get her from the car? Most preschools in our area do this and it makes the transition each morning much easier on the children.

I would try that next time if they offer it.

I would also talk a lot about her going to school when she is at home with you on the other days of the week, pointing out the positives and the fun things she will get to do there. That might help her look more forward to it.

 

[AllisonK]

My DD did this when she started pre school. She also had the drama thing going on. I could tell she was not actually scared just need a little time to adjust. She would cry when I left but I would stand in the hallway (out of sight) and as soon as I was "gone" she would start playing. laughing, singing. And she was always having so much fun she did not want to leave when I got there to pick her up. We did leave instructions for the teachers to call us at any time if she was not calming down. And they did on several occasions. We lived pretty close and I could get there with in 10 mins (walking) as long as the babe cooperated

. Talk to the teacher about what you need to make the drop off transition better. If you don't ask maybe she assumes this is how you like it.