Today my daughter went over to play with the next door neighbors grandkids and the girl (9) said "I can't play with you anymore." This is not the first time she said it, so I went over to see what was going on.
Turns out my daughter said something really mean that she shouldn't have said to the younger brother (5) and instead of the mom coming to ME and telling me about it, she gets her 9 year old to tell my 6 year old that she can't play with her anymore.
The first time it happened my dd was in tears, very upset and not understanding what happened-of course. If the mom had just said "hey your dd said this and we didn't think it was very nice," I would have had dd apologize and not let her play with them for a while.
Now I'm pissed that she's taken such a chicken ___ way out by making her daughter into the bad guy and seriously hurting my daughter's feelings. I tried calling her to talk about it in a grown up way--you know how it should have been done the first time--but she wasn't home.
DD really likes this little girl, but I personally think she's a brat and a drama queen(for many reasons and I'm not the only one). I'm still steamed that she handled this in the way that she did, involving the kids instead of dealing with it like a parent SHOULD.
I told DD she's not allowed to play with them anymore, and told her that saying things like that will only get her in trouble. I'm sure it was in the context of their play (casting pretend spells and what not ala Harry Potter), but they are all freaked out about it. It doesn't help that they talk about God-this and God-that and we are not a religious family at all, so it may be for the best (nothing wrong with that, it's just not for me). I really don't want my DD getting spiritual advice from a 9 yr. old, kwim?
Most of the time I let them play outside without interference, checking on them to make sure they haven't wandered off, and I let DD's imagination roam. If she wants to kill demons in the backyard, I'm ok with that. :LOL
I've already talked to DD about what she said. When I asked her about it, she didn't even remember saying it, but that doesn't mean she didn't. I guess the point is, she's been allowed to play with her between the first incident and today so I'm a bit confused, as is DD. Why didn't she just say something the first time it happened (a month ago) instead of letting them play like nothing was the matter and then suddenly today saying "nope, you can't play with her anymore." Sheesh
Anyway, I got a bit off track there, but I had to vent. I just wish the grown ups would be grown up and let the kids be kids. So, how should I deal with it? Call and talk to her about it or just cut ties? I don't have any strong friendship with this person, so it wouldn't hurt my feelings, but her mom is my neighbor. What to do?
