[Achelois72]

I can handle the family's reactions--and fully expect them, but I just feel totally unequipped to handle the questions posed by my co-workers regarding homeschooling and not sending our 4 year old son to preschool.

I've been working in fundraising office at great liberal arts college for 1 1/2 years, and recently switched to a more professional position within the same department (I'm not a fundraiser...I just help those that are!

). Most of my co-workers appear open-minded, environmentally aware, wonderful people. But every day, it seems, the subject of children comes up with someone and I'm forced to say that I'm not sending my son to preschool and that we intend to home school. And furthermore, we don't own a home, but are renting, and no, my husband does not work outside the home, but stays home with my son...and...aaaaggghh! You can hear the crickets chirping when I'm through--people are stunned that we choose to live off $35K per year, rent an apartment, and not send our son to school. They never say anything negative...yet, but the silence and awkwardness is unbearable. I'm still pretty new here too, and haven't really clicked with anyone, so this has made it harder for me to fit in, I feel.

Has anyone ever experienced this kind of thing in their workplace? Any ideas...other than growing that thicker skin for which I've been missing my entire life?

Thanks!
Susan

 

[pollyanna]

I don't really have any advice. I just wanted to say I'm going through the samething right now. I didn't say anything right away to the people at work because my son wasn't old enough for school yet, but I did recently. I have one Guy at work who has no tolerance for anything different, and I find it very stressful to work with him eveyday.
I just try not to mention it to anyone at work when he is around, and stay away for him when we work together(which isn't everyday thankfully).
I hope your situation at work gets better.
Pollyanna

 

[LilyGrace]

Make it sound like the best thing ever for your family. Be confident and proud, smile, and don't waiver in your stance.

It's very easy to pick up on when someone has doubts, but if the confidence shines through, it perks people's ears up. What are we missing? This is a great thing? I don't get it - tell me more!

I worked in a library for a few years. The ladies I worked with were either former teachers, aides, or in college for a teaching degree. Announcing that I was leaving to homeschool my children was met with a bit of shock. One, the college student) flat out told me that she didn't believe homeschooling was a good thing. It's been a year now, and she's gotten to read along in our blog, I've shared curriculum ideas with her and asked for help from the other clerks...it's starting to open some eyes. I don't get the comments anymore.

 

[dharmamama]

It sounds like you're giving people TMI. Why do they need to know that you rent, your dh stays home, and what your income is?

Just smile and say pleasantly, "We've chosen to homeschool. So how 'bout them Steelers?"

fm

 

[Benji'sMom]

I second the previous suggestion that you sound really positive about it. If it's a choice you made, you SHOULD sound like it's the greatest dream come true. For me it IS the greatest dream come true. If not for my stay-at-home DH my kids would be babysat by my mom which would be my biggest NIGHTMARE!

 

[Roar]

So, people haven't said anything negative but you are upset because you are sure they are thinking something negative?

What I've noticed about homeschooling is that people are feeling more insecure about the choice tend to get more flack about it. When you are upset when people haven't even said anything negative it makes me think that you are looking too much for outside validation of your choices. I've noticed when I'm positive, self assured and upbeat I get positive responses back (that said, I don't work up a head of steam if someone disagrees or is silent either).

 

[muttix2]

One coworker asked recently about why my oldest (3) isn't in preschool. I said we're homeschooling and the shock/disapproval on her face was shocking to me. I hadn't even considered the opinions of coworkers. I work in an environment where education is VERY important, especially to those in positions higher than mine. Anyone who chooses to make this a career highly values education and for most of them, this equals institutionalized schooling. I have avoided the topic since as I'm not interested in getting into a debate at work. However, if they bring it up, I'm not going to avoid the question. I just don't want to volunteer anything. I'm not trying to win them over, this is a personal decision for me and I honestly don't think that every child should be homeschooled. I just believe that mine should be

So, my debate would get me nowhere as I'd end up saying "Well yes, in your case I can see why you would need to send your children to school. And they have thrived for it. Good going!" And none of us would know what to say after that.

 

[incorrigible]

.

 

[heket]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilyGrace I worked in a library for a few years. The ladies I worked with were either former teachers, aides, or in college for a teaching degree. Announcing that I was leaving to homeschool my children was met with a bit of shock. One, the college student) flat out told me that she didn't believe homeschooling was a good thing. It's been a year now, and she's gotten to read along in our blog, I've shared curriculum ideas with her and asked for help from the other clerks...it's starting to open some eyes. I don't get the comments anymore.

Good for you! I'm a librarian and I'm hoping that dh and I can agree on a path that would allow for our children to be homeschooled. Right now, since he's a student it's easier. But once he's done with his certification and out in the job world, there'll be a bit of time before I can either transition to part time or quit outright to stay home. However, I understand the stalwart opposition you met as many in the library world are also drawn to education.

 

[Achelois72]

Thanks for the tips and support, everyone.

"It sounds like you're giving people TMI. Why do they need to know that you rent, your dh stays home, and what your income is?"

I should clarify--I don't announce my salary to everyone, but people pretty much know the range that someone makes. And do to a recent campus-wide compensation review, salaries are on everyone's mind. In one recent conversation, someone said, "wow, it must be hard to get by on one salary, especially with what the college pays us at this level." So, no, I don't share that. And regarding the renting thing--it's a small town. Everyone knows someone who knows someone, so it's really hard to keep that quiet even if it's not something I announce. But I don't understand how it's TMI to share that my husband is a SAHD. Again, it's a small group--so, everyone has met each other's SO's. I don't see any way to avoid that...

Anyway, it's nice just hearing from others about this. It's all about outlook, isn't it? Not so much a thicker skin, as embracing that positive attitude. As Roar said, I should be "positive, self assured and upbeat" about my choices. That would sure help with a lot of facets of my life--and I can/will work on it.

Thanks everyone!!!

:

Cheers,
Susan

 

[ShaggyDaddy]

wow, when I talk about all that stuff my coworkers are all jealous "Oh well we both have to work" and "Oh I don't think we could handle home schooling" etc etc.

Of course I don't work in academia, or the east coast. I think that is the big difference.. I work in the bible belt south where everyone wishes they could SAH, but nobody does because they think they need Escallades and 4000 sqft homes.

 

[Aeress]

I have found that many people in my field area to be very open to homeschooling. My family is our sore spot but is it getting better.

My usual response is "we feel that we can provide a more well rounded educational experience at home."

Many people in the community are familiar with my background my concerns with the current public school system, so I don't get alot of questions. A few parents ask and I just reply that this is best for us.

I've gotten a few people looking for more information which is always a good sign.