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dealing with stress - tips?

558 Views 8 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  flyingspaghettimama
Here's the situation:

My cousin, who was a bridesmaid in my wedding 4 years ago, died of a drug overdose. So, I've got a last minute plane ticket for me and DS to fly out to attend the funeral on Thursday, and then spend the weekend with my parents. Which also means seeing my in-laws and grandparents, which is nice, but a bit overwhelming. Its a really sad situation, and there's all kinds of terrible family drama due to her parents recently divorcing and the nature of her death. Its all going to be terrible. My parents didn't want me to come, since I'm a pregnant nursing mother and they thought the stress would be very bad for me, but I really feel the need to go. I've had terrible m/s for the last 10.5 weeks (I'm 14.5 weeks now) and while it seems to be letting up, its very dependent on my quality of sleep and stress level, so I'm worried that I'm going to be sick as a dog the whole weekend, too. I already let me in-laws know that if I need to I'm going to just "check out" and hang out at my parents house, and they were very understanding and said I don't have to come see them at all and/or they'd be more than willing to drive to see us. So, no pressure from them, but I know they'd love to see DS so I'm really going to try to make it work.

Anyway, anyone have any good tips for getting through the weekend? Its my first time flying alone with DS, too, plus there's a possibility I'll have to drive all over the place in a rented car once I arrive. I'm getting stressed just thinking about the next few days!
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Maybe you could let your in-laws take DS for some bonding time, which will give you time to rest (depending on his BF schedule). And having people drive to you sounds like a good idea. Listen to your body and don't be afraid to ask for/accept help if you need it!
Don't have any great advice but wanted to offer you a "virtual hug", as cheesy as that may sound. Professionally, I have spent a lot of time in an addiction recovery center so I partially can empathize with your loss. Although it's just not the same when it's family, I am sure.

You and your fam are in my thoughts this week. Hopefully, people will allow you to grieve as you need. I wish you safe and low-stress travels.
I'm so sorry, that sounds really sad. There have been a few things that I've used during very very high-stress times, I don't know how easy it is for you to get your hands on them:
+Bach Rescue Remedy
+Zen by Allergy Research Group (given to me by my MD physician) It really, really helped a LOT.
+Extra vitamin B.

None of it will make it go away, but if it helps you into a zone to better cope with the stress (vs. being tired, jetlagged, eating junk, which is what happens to most of us anyhow).
Hugs to you.
I'm sorry for your loss.

You've recieved some good advice so far. I'd just make sure to surround myself with little comforts to make the trip easier--lots of snacks, water, music, etc.

It sounds as if your family will be supportive; definitely take advantage of their help.

Sending good vibes your way....
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Nothing to add to what's already been said but I still wanted to send you my sympathy and wish you the best this weekend.
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I am so sorry to hear about your cousin

What has helped me when traveling with a toddler and under stress: don't over-book yourself with plans and drive everywhere and try to see and do everything. Just do the minimal you are able to do while still sticking with your son's nap and nursing needs, and your needs for rest. Even if you don't make all the events during the weekend, just the fact that you came will mean the world to your family, I'm sure. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself and your son, and I'm sure everyone will understand.

Also, I was going to suggest rescue remedy, as the pp said.

Oh, and do you have your hypnobabies cd's to listen to to help you relax while you're there?

Best wishes, and let us know how it goes!
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Just curious, what is rescue remedy?

"Rescue Remedy & Rescue Remedy Cream is a combination of Bach Flower Essences that is specially beneficial when you find yourself in traumatic situations, such as, stress, emergencies, after getting bad news, before an exam or job interview and all other kind of situations where we suddenly loose balance mentally. The Essences quickly get us back in our normal balance so that we calmly can deal with any situation."

Who knows, maybe it's all wack info, but I figure A) it doesn't hurt B) maybe it does work or C) there's always the placebo effect. I've used it. It's ok. I have no idea how arnica cream works, but it really seems to work very well (not for stress though).
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