[mamazee]

I would have thrown the newspaper back. Kids learn about disappointments without any trouble - they don't need help. And their parents should be one place free from unnecessary disspointments IMO.

My dd has had violent tantrums, though she's pretty much outgrown them. But when she was in full tantrum mode, I was afraid she was having seizures they were so bad. She would bite me and even try to gouge my eyes out. I don't punish, so I have never given her a time out, and I particularly wouldn't for a tantrum. A tantrum is a point where the child is out of control - that's the whole point. The child is unable to control his/her emotions. Punishing in an attempt to make the child get control won't work unless the child is purposely out of control. I don't think that's what a tantrum is. I think a tantrum is a case where a child is overwhelmed by emotion and feels insecure.

I used to hold my daughter on my lap so she couldn't hurt me, and I'd remind her that I love her and that I was there, and I'd empathize and talk about how she sounded like she was feeling.

 

[mamazee]

The reason I thought you were talking about punishing is because you said that you "took him to his room" which is different than just moving away from him to keep from being hurt. I think moving *yourself* away from him would not be a punishment, it would be perhaps a necessary action to get yourself out of the rage zone. But physically picking him up and moving him when he's in that state is at best a power struggle out of control, YKWIM? I'm picturing picking up a child who is trying to physically hurt me and it sounds like it would be scary for both of us, and would probably escalate the tantrum.

I don't personally think there needs to be a consequence for hitting others in the case of a tantrum, because kids seem to grow out of that kind of hitting without anything else. If the consequence won't make the problem go away sooner, what's the reason for doing it?

I hope you don't take what I'm saying the wrong way - I'm not saying I think you're wrong, I'm just trying to help you brainstorm by saying what I would try to do differently. Good luck!