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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am your daughter. I am not your friend, I am not your buddy, and I am not your confidante.<br><br>
I am also just about nine months pregnant and am having a hard enough time dealing with MY emotions, forget YOURS. Please do not call me at 9am on the one day I FINALLY convince DH that I need to come in around noon, so I can sleep later, to whine and cry about how terrible your life is. It is not terrible. It could be much worse.<br><br>
If you and Daddy are both unhappy with his job situation, he should find another job. Stop calling me and telling me how stressed he is and how much he hates his job. And then, when I suggest him finding another one, don't backtrack and say "Oh, he doesn't hate it, he's just worried about...."<br><br>
If you are truly concerned that your landlord's son-in-law is going to ask you to leave your apartment, start looking for a new one and move out ON YOUR OWN TERMS. Do not wait until he comes to you and says, "I need you to leave by the end of the month", and then have nowhere to go but my little house. And rest assured, if you DO do this, your welcome is very limited.<br><br>
If you are lonely and bored during the day, get a new job. Join a club. Take a class. Do SOMETHING. Besides call me at home/work/MW appts and cry about how bored and lonely you are.<br><br>
And, do not argue with me about my parenting style/birth plan/vaccination schedule or anything else to do with this baby ever again. This is my baby. You had your chance. Twice.
 

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{{{HUGS}}} Sha, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with your mom on that level. Sounds like she's menopausal... from how my mom was/is dealing with it.<br>
I hope you sent her the letter and she understands.
 

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I'm right there with you. Except I think my mother must be bipolar or something. After her big rant about how much I hate her on Mother's Day she's back to talking to me and acting like that whole conversation never happened. Why my mother insists on creating stress and drama, I will never understand. And then she complains that there's so much stress and drama in her life. Well hello?! She created it all to begin with! Ugh. Some mothers just suck and need to get their heads out of their arses. I'm sorry your mother is one of them. :-/
 

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Hi there ... lurking from the July board to get an idea of what's coming <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">.<br><br>
Sharon-Anne and Jillene, I so know what you mean. It's hard enough to go through everything we're dealing with ... and to have a nutball mom on top of it ... it's just not fair. If there was any time in my life when I'd love to have a loving, supportive, understanding, non-critical mother -- now is that time. But such is not the case.<br><br>
Sharon-Anne, it sounds like your mom has a classic case of not respecting "boundaries" (the whole "I'm your daughter, not your friend" thing). I don't know if your mom will "hear" you. Mine won't, and I grapple with the idea that I may have to cut her out of my and my soon-to-be-born child's life in order to preserve our sanity and mental health.<br><br>
Jillene, you only wrote a few sentences so I don't have a lot to go on -- but it may be worthwhile to do some reading on Borderline Personality Disorder to see if it applies to your mom (<a href="http://www.bpdcentral.com" target="_blank">http://www.bpdcentral.com</a> and the book Stop Walking on Eggshells are great resources). I'm pretty certain my mom has this, and your few comments made your mom seem like my mom (there is often overlap / similarities between BPD and bipolar). Finding out about BPD changed my whole life, and has really helped me.<br><br>
FYI, a major signpost of BPD is lack of boundaries, so Sharon-Anne, you may find the site helpful as well. The learning I've done about boundaries has really helped me in my interactions with *everyone* in my life.<br><br>
Hope I'm not sticking my nose in where it's not wanted ...<br><br>
Shana<br>
EDD 7/29/05
 

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Thanks Shana.<br>
I checked out that link and it does sound an awful lot like my mother. I think I'll try to get to the library and check that book out. Anything that could help me deal with her without having high levels of stress/drama would be great. I'm so tired of her crap and it's very hard to keep a relationship going and not just cut all the strings and save myself the trouble.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> mamas Maybe we should all add our letters to this thread. sounds therapeutic.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks guys. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Yes, the letter writing was theraputic. (No, Davina, I didn't send it to her, or I'd have been back here writing another letter about how I am NOT an awful daughter and I am NOT going to hell :LOL)<br><br>
Please, join in with letters of your own. I should be writing a new one to DH any second now :LOL
 

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why is it as daughters we can really tell our Moms how we feel?!?!<br>
I do the same thing, write emails that I so wanna send but feel like it would totally make things worse.<br>
So I dont. I vent to my sweet hubby who is really good at making me feel better with out trying to "fix " it!
 
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