Debating...

578 Views 11 Replies 9 Participants Last post by Ltlfaery, Apr 14, 2006

Ltlfaery

Discussion Starter · Apr 12, 2006

Whether I should care for this baby or not. Need some 'advice'.

I really like the family, they're great! Delayed vaxing, co-sleeping, babywearing...etc. Crunchy (well, they don't "look" it, but they are).

I've been emailing back and foward and have met them. She needs to go back to work. I gathered from the getgo, that finances were tight. "we had planned for me to stay home" "things were much different when we conceived" etc. Little comments here and there.

I had "ideally" asked for $200 a week., 8-5 pm. M-F, and was willing to go as far down as a $160
They came back today, said they really like me, but they can only afford right now $125 a week. They recently filed bankrupsy (i didn't ask more about that), and that as their situation improved so would our arrangement. They work for a fundraising organization, managing fundraisers for non-profits.

I really like them. They like me. I feel bad just even thinking what it must be like, to have to settle for a reg. daycare if I was them (and I say no).

$125 is way less than ideal for me, but I would be 'willing' to do it. After all, it allows me to get a bit extra to stay home. I start school soon on saturdays and have a couple of other things going:a babywearing business that i'm just starting and baby and me swimlessons I give on saturdays as well as my CBE cert that I'm working on). This day-care arrangement would only be while I'm in school, as she hopes to be able to stay home at least part time "before she's talking". The baby's 10 weeks right now.

however, my parents (it's their house) think I'm just "being taken advantage of", and I should just find someone who can pay me more, and not worry about parenting philosophies and the "perfect" fit. They say I'm "way to nice all the time" BTW, my sisters, who also met them, think, like I do, that they're very nice and honest.

what do you guys think? would you do it?
I feel so torn! yet, *I* think that this would be one of those things that rewards you in the end...you know, good karma.

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BelovedK

· #2 · Apr 12, 2006

What a dilemna, I was going to suggest taking in more DCs and then re read that baby is only 10 weeks old. Maybe you could agree to that price for a limited period of time and then go to another price, that would give them a chance to get it together and also give you a way out if they can't.

There is no way that they would ever be able to find quality care for that price anywhere so you would be racking up major karma points. Good luck in your decision.

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Jster

· #3 · Apr 12, 2006

Here's some other things...if people are really low income, they can qualify for assistance, but you'd have to get certified. You might want to check into if that's possible. Also, if you're certified, you can get on the food program, and get paid for feeding even breastmilk, as well as paid for feeding your own kids. And if you're low income, then you get more, like $4 or so per kid per day. Doesn't seem like much, but adds up fast to help you out financially. And what are the rates in your area? If they wouldn't be able to get $125/week for an infant anywhere, then expecting you to do it is ridiculous. It should be a decent price for both parent and caregiver, taking everything (age, care provided, etc.) into consideration.

Also, is there anything they could barter with? Perhaps they could help you in some non-material way? It's important that they value what you're doing or you WILL be taken advantage of soon. People can't really help it, if they don't appreciate something they take it for granted.

I do think, though, that you want someone with similar parenting philosophies. Part of that, though, is someone who values their child. And there are so many who make it work, either working part time, bringing their child to work, working different shifts, etc., that unless it's a single mama I sometimes don't trust people who say they'd love to stay with their kids but don't work it out somehow. Just had some bad experiences with that when I was doing in home childcare, and it starts to show on the kids...kids reflect the love they get, and if the child isn't truly being valued, then they won't be as happy. Your heart will be totally involved, though, and soon you'd do anything for this child...but at the sacrifice of yourself and your own children.

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StephandOwen

· #4 · Apr 12, 2006

I'm going to ditto Kelly. I would probably do it, but I'm working a very similar schedule (only it's a 3 1/2 year old- but I've been doing this since she was born) for $150/week. I know I could be making more elsewhere BUT it is a perfect fit for me and DS (and the 3 1/2 year old, and her mom.... who is also my mom

) and that matters more than the money (though I'm hoping I get at least a little raise when mom adds a newborn to the mix

).

Good luck deciding!

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Ltlfaery

Discussion Starter · #5 · Apr 12, 2006

You could find, in this area, a $125 daycare, it would just be with quite a few more kids, I was only planning on having ONE more child here.

jster--I don't think we can do any of them. I'm separated, not divorced, so my X's income still counts right? and I live with my parents,and their income wouldn't qualify either. I can ask the couple. However, I don't think they'd qualify either.

belovedk--that is a good idea. Perhaps I will agree to it for a short period, and go from there.

I looked online last night for other 'childcare' options. One would involve going to someone elses house during the day, anotherone would involve 'sleeping over' 5 nights a week 9p-7a while parent works the night shift.

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Wolfcat

· #6 · Apr 13, 2006

I realize that this isn't a popular opinion, but if you get a good feeling about these people (and you tend to have pretty good judgment), I would let them go with the $125. After all, if you are just doing this for "extra", it isn't a make-or-break situation for you. Plus, unless they are really selfish people, they might really need this "lucky break." And people tend to remember this stuff for years afterwards. When they get back on their feet, they are likely to make it up to you in a big way.

Of course, I'm a HUGE believer in karmic comebacks.

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Ltlfaery

Discussion Starter · #7 · Apr 13, 2006

Well, I'm doing it. I talked to a couple of people that agree it's a reasonable price, for a home daycare. I'm able to stay home with my own daughter right now and don't have to worry much about money (yet) so it's extra.

and I talked to a friend who was my reference who says she too gathered from them that they are truly struggling. So I am doing it. I think it'll work out in the end.

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cheyennemama

· #8 · Apr 13, 2006

Why not start at $125/wk and ask that in a month (once the 2nd paychecks start), it be increased to $160/wk.

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Alex'smom

· #9 · Apr 14, 2006

Whew..... You are really being nice here and I do hope that they don't take advantage of you. I had someone ask me to watch their two kids the other day, a baby and a three year old plus a school age child once I would pick her up from school for only 250 a week! I was like no I don't think so. I felt that was taking advantage of me and I also had to think of my son who is the center of attention and how it would affect him with having a baby around taking his place. Anyway's good luck and I WOULD ADVISE YOU TO TELL THEM THAT YOU EXPECT THE AMOUNT TO BE RAISED TO $160 A WEEK. Here in Mckinney Tx, the going rate for one child is 160 a week but a little bit more if taking care of an infant. Alex'smom 02-17-04

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trinity6232000

· #10 · Apr 14, 2006

Don't worry Alex'smom I agree with you, so your not alone.

When I worked as a nanny I got paid close to $300 a week for
two children (1st & 4th grade), M-F, and only 4-5 hours each
day. Caring full time for a infant IMO is much harder. Especially
with your own child to care for.

Ltlfaery I am glad you came to your answer. I hope you talk
to the parents and tell them that if you are to continue that
you will need to be paid more.

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meemee

· #11 · Apr 14, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolfcat
I realize that this isn't a popular opinion, but if you get a good feeling about these people (and you tend to have pretty good judgment), I would let them go with the $125. After all, if you are just doing this for "extra", it isn't a make-or-break situation for you. Plus, unless they are really selfish people, they might really need this "lucky break." And people tend to remember this stuff for years afterwards. When they get back on their feet, they are likely to make it up to you in a big way.

Of course, I'm a HUGE believer in karmic comebacks.

i just read this thread right now and this is exactly what i say too. if you feel u r being used you can always give them two weeks notice.

but do take into consideration your parent's views. sometimes i have noticed they are able to see more than i could at that moment.

but i would say that should be your judgement. many times i have felt used but i have done it - just for the pleasure. sometimes i have done it because inidirectly my friend's children were benefiting.

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Ltlfaery

Discussion Starter · #12 · Apr 14, 2006

yes, there's an agreement to 'raise' the price as we go, and as they can. They are truly hurting right now.

I know that because I spoke to other people in our community who 'know' them and that was the consensus. Plus, she even said to me that she would love to start out a couple of days before she's back to work, and 'ease' her into it (i suggested that when we first met) and she politely declined because 'she can't afford it'. And i think, as much/and how I see her with her daugther, she wouldn't just do that, if there was a choice.

She (mom) said that she will work to match what I'm asking for as she can.

We also spoke about "if either of us" decides to end this, the notice that will be given etc.

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