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Discussion Starter #1
<p>Welcome to December ladies!  Hope those who celebrate Hannukah are having a blast!</p>
<p>We will be celebrating Christmas later this month. </p>
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<p>Take care all and enjoy the month!!</p>
<p> </p>
 

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<p>subbing!</p>
<p>I think I am skipping christmas this year. Unfortunately I don't think my kids will let me get away with it.</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #3
<p>Nicole,</p>
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<p>I can only imagine why you would not want to celebrate Christmas.  The year we lost Avery, I did not want to do anything for Christmas that year other than stay home and be with my kids.  Noone understands, none asks how you are, other than on here, it is so lonely being a babyloss Mom.  Our culture does nothing to support Moms through Miscarriage or Stillbirth.  I really think that is something that needs to be worked on not just in the medical Community but with Communities at large.  Huge hugs to you and take care of yourself. </p>
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<p>I tell my husband almost every year that I am going to Take a Year off from Christmas. There is a book about it and next year, I think I am sticking to it! </p>
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<p>Take care and HUGS!!!!</p>
<p> </p>
 

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<p>I wrote a really long reply a bit ago, then thepower went so I lost it. Since then I've written it in my head a few times, but apparantly you're not allpsychic, hey who'd've known.</p>
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<p>Well Christmas, hmmm there's an interesting thing. Was talking to Jordan about it, he says Leo is our future and I cannot get sad, it's got to be about him and making it a special time for him. I can't guarantee I will be happy, I really can't. But yet I know I can't have sadness for him on Christmas. We got upset talking about it over dinner and Leo was sitting inbetween us in his highchair, it really seemed like he was being silly blowing bubbles in his cup and giggling looking at us both to make us smile. He knew we weren't happy and was trying to be silly. Now that's just talking about Christmas, do I really want it to be the same every year. Christmas is not a day for Leo, it's a day when he doesn his best to make me smile. That really isn't fair. But also I don't know how to not be sad, and I also feel I'd not be honouring Isabel's memory by being all happy happy joy. How on earth do I separate the two, and how do I have her brithday without afftecting Leo's Christmas. I will never like Christmas again, but I wish I could be a person who did, Leo is still that person so I have to protect him. It really will always be the day I got the most amazing gift and spent the day jst being amazed by my beautiful daughter. I just don't get why she's not here.</p>
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<p>So ho hum, that's life eh. I didn't knit Leo a santa's hat (again no Christmas knitting), I've avoided it by doing a viking hat instead, you see he'll get more wear out of it rather than just being Christmas, nothing to do with the thought that is would scare the crap out of me. But the local supermarket sells santa hats cheap so he will at least be festive. Oh I've also got him a lion costume. How awsome is that. I was looking at the Christmas costumes but I figured we'd get more wear out of a lion outift. He can, and will, wear it again.</p>
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<p>Nicole, what can I say, what can anyone say. Seriously I am just so upset for you. Life isn't fair normally, but this. Seriously I just don't know what to think or who to blame. I really hate the believe in fate and 'things happen' because this much should not happen to one person. To be honest if you don't fancy Christmas then don't. You know you could always celebrate epiphany instead. The Spanish celebrate the kings day with a big meal and that's when traditionally they'd give gifts. So make that a family day with a meal, but nothing else. That's the last day I saw Isabel alive and the last day there most probably was brain activity as later that night she had seizures, so I don't even have that left to 'celebrate'.</p>
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<p>Ginger Jen, so you're the next one up for another go then eh? I cannot wait to see the new ginger addition. My sister is ginger and having a little one this January. Did I say this already? I don't know what I've said in the posts that worked, or the post that went with the power blip and the posts in my head. Sorry if  I repeat myself. Anyway I hope all goes well for the next 8-9 months.</p>
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<p>Back to the UK next Friday. So that's sort of a ltittle scary. We go back for Christmas so just the flight is like a step closer. I find myself getting very sad a lot at the moment. I just really wish that evrythign everywhere you go didn't remind you that it's coming up. Seriuosly there is no other day that's mentioned everywhere for so long. Anyway back to my knitting or he won't have a viking hat for england.</p>
 

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<p>Well hello again!  I thought about lurking, but I'm not a lurker type.  I'm around MDC more now because I'm planning HBA2C for late June / early July.  This baby was a surprise, and we didn't go through the same protocol as last time, but things are going well.  As soon as I tested pregnant I got in touch with the RE's nurse in Denver (I am so thankful she'll still advise me even though I'm not really a patient), got my progesterone medication prescribed and represcribed to be correct (OB wanted me to take oral prometrium; RE said not to do that; SIL had been told that it can cause problems if you take it orally).  I had a u/s at 7w and again at 9w.  Baby's measuring about on schedule, and the HR was 170 last check, and we saw movement.  All super great things.</p>
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<p>Anyway, hopefully my story is encouraging for any PAL gals out there.  Still having to fight to get things done the way that makes me most comfortable.  After 3 losses I can't be shy about my needs, even if someone else thinks they're overkill.</p>
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<p>RedJen, I can't believe we're prego together!  Hope it's going well for ya.  I'm sure you won't rest easy until well after Avery's date.  Hugs.</p>
 

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<p>labortrials - yippee! that is so awesome!</p>
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<p>Claire - the holidays are so difficult ((HUGS)) i wish i had some advice to make it better but I've always just sucked it up and faked it.</p>
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<p>Nicole - ((HUGS)) just strive for the lowest impact holidays that you can get away with</p>
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<p>Red Jen - I still stoked that you are pg again</p>
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<p>afm - holidays are wearing me down -- work full time plus 4 kids plus i help my dh for ~2 hours every night with the holiday sales, i can only get on mdc when i'm nursing</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #7
<p>Kimberly - Congrats!  How wonderful - we were pg together with our 1st Rainbows -now this!  Very cool.  I have not had an u/s yet, going Wednesday.</p>
<p>so you are going to try a HB - very cool!</p>
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<p>D - try to take it easy - you are so busy!  Thanks for all the good feelings, I definitely need the cheerleading:)  I cannot wait to be 17 weeks.  I am 10 weeks today. </p>
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<p>AFM - my dr has me taking prometrium, I took crinone last time.  I am hoping it works as well as last time!!    Any ideas about this??</p>
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<p>Take care!!</p>
 

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<p>Kimberly - OMGosh!!  Congrats!!!!!!  How are the twins?? It's so good to see you :) And kick butt for the hba2c. Keep us posted :)</p>
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<p>RedJen - You're so right, there's nothing for loss mamas. It's such a sensitive topic and God knows youcan't upset people these days. So loss mamas just grieve in silence while people think it's best to not say anything or remember. It's sickening to me. When women need the support most, there's really nowhere to go. Thankfully there's here :)  How are you feeling??</p>
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<p>D - Always good to see you mama :)  I'm right there with you, work (from home anyway), school full time, 4 kids, just so much sometimes. DH and I made time to sit down and have some jalapeno poppers, a cherry pepsi & watch A Christmas Carol last night. Of course Eli was sandwiched between us lol. He kept pushing our faces together to try and make us kiss and then he would laugh. He's a sweet boy.</p>
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<p>Claire - I wish I had some prolific knowledge for you, but I don't. So I will just say that I'm thinking of you, and we're always here for you to talk and give a big virtual hug (((hugs)))</p>
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<p>Nicole - I think skipping holidays are a great idea. It's all just too much sometimes and nobody should be expected to forget life for a holiday. Big hugs and prayers to you (((hugs)))</p>
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<p>AFM - Hanukkah is winding down. We had our family get together Saturday and I'm glad that it's come and gone. It always amazes me how different my husband's siblings are from each other, and their partners, too. But the kids had fun. But anyway, I'm so grateful, my MIL bought us this kick butt new camera which we desperately needed, so I can take new Bella and Brothers pics :) Poor thing has raw spots on the backs of her ears in the creases, neded a script it was so bad. Hopefully the lotion will work quickly. Boys are boys, growing like crazy and getting into that 8 year old mouthy phase, even the 6 year old, too. But it won't be like this for long :) Bella just woke up so i best tend to the princess! Lots of love and boo to the holidays :)</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #9
<p>Meredyth - good to hear from you.  I am feeling lousy, tired as can be, nauseous and freezing.  Other than that - ok.  LOL!  I am so nervous!  I have my first u/s tomorrow, please everyone pray and send me good thoughts.  It is at 11am EST.  I found out Avery was gone via u/s after hearing her HB the week before, so u/s are always tough for me ever since.  My husband says I am gunshy.</p>
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<p>Do you have a party for Hanukkah or give the kids gifts each night?  The new camera sounds great!  Cannot wait to see new pics of your family.  I am sure they are all still as cute as ever.</p>
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<p>Take care all!</p>
<p> </p>
 

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<p>Hi Everyone,</p>
<p>Just wanted to say hello. Had my first ultrasound today. The baby's heartbeat was 152 @ 7 weeks, 2 days and the OB said that things look great. I did request an extra ultrasound. The baby I lost in September was a missed miscarriage and I really went into shock. I don't want to wait that long between U/s in the first trimester.</p>
<p>  Jen I totally understand your fear of ultrasounds. I pray that everything went well today.</p>
<p>Have a great day everyone.</p>
 

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<p>wow!!!  congratulations, kimberly!  how exciting!</p>
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<p>we are all sick (if you have me on fb, you know that!) and christmas is going to be very simple this year.  it's been 2 years since i lost my papa (on my bday, 12/23) and zoe should have been 3 and now we're all sick and i'm tired and crabby.  oh, and i'm on prometrium, too, because i had 12 days of spotting last month. </p>
 

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<p>Red Jen - Any news?</p>
 

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<p>Awww, so many old friends.  Hello!  I'm glad to get back in touch with everyone!</p>
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<p>RedJen, we need an update, dearie!!  I did hydroxyprogesterone shots last time and am on prometrium this time.  It's scary when you're not following the exact same protocol.  I still have my doubts at times even though I've had 2 good u/s.</p>
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<p>Gawsh as soon as I thought I was turning the corner, I started getting sick today.  I don't know if it's a bug or morning sickness.  And I've lost my voice.  Grr.</p>
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<p>Can't hardly believe I'm 11w LMP tomorrow.</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #14
<p>Hello all,</p>
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<p>My boys werre off from school yesterday and I had work last night so I could not get to the computer - LOL!</p>
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<p>My u/s went well.  Baby's HB was 147-152.  Everything looked good but the dates seem a little off.  I should be 9w 2 d, but baby is measuring 7 w 2 days so tech was thinking that dates are off.  I only had one PP cycle in October so who knows?  I guess my O date and conception date do not exactly correspond with the LMP date. </p>
<p>So we'll see what my OB says Monday but I am guessing a repeat scan in two weeks to make sure everything is going ok.</p>
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<p>Kimberly - Almost out of the 1st tri!  How awesome:)  I have morning sickness all the time and I get it a lot at night too.  I have never been this sick before, but my Dr says that is a good sign.</p>
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<p>Jen - hope everyone gets better quick.  Is Natalie feeling any better? Good luck with the prometrium, hope it does the trick for ya!</p>
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<p>mamalove1 - Congrats!!  Good luck with your next u/s, I know what you mean about being nervous too, I had the same thing happen with my one loss too.</p>
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<p>Take care all!! </p>
 

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<p>Well tomorrow we're off to the UK for Leo's birthday and Christmas, yes it's finally here. I guess Christmas is gonig to happen after all. I made Leo a birthday/Christmas crown so he's a little festive</p>
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<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fazer6/5243317997/" target="_blank" title="DSCF5354 by Stealth Leprechaun, on Flickr"><img alt="DSCF5354" src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5249/5243317997_21fc172d2c.jpg" style="width:500px;height:375px;"></a></p>
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<p>He's got into a very active phase now, I can hardly remember having an immobile baby. He was such a late crawler and quickly got the hang of walking it just seems to have gone from no crawling to almost running in no time. The trouble is it's snowy in the UK so I don't know how he'll cope, firstly it'll be harder to walk, but more important, he can't find any sticks or stones to walk around with!</p>
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<p>Has anyone seen the docu film babies? Leo's like the african baby, he likes to sit outside on the floor just playing with stones and bits of wood.</p>
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<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fazer6/5232276867/" target="_blank" title="04/12/10 Yes he spends a bit of time outside the workshop either hitting a mould or looking at stones by Stealth Leprechaun, on Flickr"><img alt="04/12/10 Yes he spends a bit of time outside the workshop either hitting a mould or looking at stones" src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5089/5232276867_33ef7c43ed.jpg" style="width:500px;height:375px;"></a></p>
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<p>I've got him a lion outift for his birthday so he's going to really get into the spirit. I don't think he realises just how funky he's going to look, and yes I am making the most of being able to dress him up while I  can!</p>
 

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Discussion Starter #16
<p>Claire- Leo in that hat is adorable!  Have a safe trip back to the UK!  Take lots of warm stuff. </p>
<p>I like the Lion costume, it sounds so cute.  Cannot wait until you post pics:)</p>
<p>Happy early Birthday to Leo.  Hope he has a blast!!!  I have to watch that movie - it looks good.</p>
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<p>Take care!</p>
 

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<p>Hi everyone!  It's so nice to see you again, <strong>Kimberly</strong>.  :)  Love that crown, <strong>Claire</strong>.  I'm going to print out that pattern as soon as I remember.  I made Ambrose a crocheted version this past year but I like that one better!</p>
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<p>And yay for good u/s, <strong>redjen and mamalove</strong>!</p>
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<p>Hi <strong>D</strong>!  :)</p>
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<p><strong>meredyth</strong>, I have a love/hate relationship with the baby creases too.  They are so darn cute but do they have to accumulate so much stuff!</p>
 

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<p>Dude, what is wrong with the multi posting?</p>
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<p>Sorry I can't seem to figure out how to respond to everyone individually yet.</p>
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<p>I have a major chest cold and feel horrid.  Couldn't go in to work today.  Went to the doc and was sent home with albuterol and a nebulizer.  Lexi's feeling punky too.</p>
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<p>One good thing was my convo with my GP regarding HBA2C!  She reassured me that if anything starts to go wrong, my midwife will take me to the hospital.  She agrees that I'd likely NOT have a good experience at the hospital even in there was a provider who accepted VBA2C clients.  So, phew.</p>
 

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<p>Well last night I had one of those paranoia nights. Jees I'm not pregnant so didn't expect it. My sister is 38w, we have a history at 37/38w in our family of preterm ROM my sister reckons it's coincidence and didn't take vitamin C. So guess what happened to her last night. She called me round to see if she was peeing herself or it was waters. Gave her the safety talk (she's not an obsessive reader like me and hasn't read a thing during her pregnancy on the internet). She stopped at home last night (thankfully didn't go straight to hospital). But at one point she said, is it normal for them to stop moving much when things start. I'm like oh my god I've advised her to stay at home, wtf do I do if I make the wrong call. All last night I was so worried. Anway she was checked this morning and baby is fine, went to the bigger hospital which would do an induction, they checked her and sent her home tonight, she goes in tomorrow and is induced if nothing's started. I'm suprised, but impressed, they sent her home. At least she'll get a good night's sleep. I've also done the infection and prolapse talk so I think I won't have any regrets just in case. But still it was a worrying time till she let us know all was well.</p>
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<p>Christmas is coming, I have ignored it and hoped it'd go away. It doesn't appear to have done that. I'm crafting up some things, basically making a cheap prezzie look good. I think I've realised that Christmas will always be shit for me, and I hate that. What happens when I'm 40 or 50 and still grieving the little girl who only spent a few weeks with us. It's a life sentance.</p>
 
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