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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Had my first midwife appointment on Monday and while she was nice and everything I couldnt help being reminded of all the unneccessary medicalisation of my last birth which left me with a deep mistrust of all doctors, midwives and especially consultants who turned my beautiful calm birth into a circus. Plus when she wanted to take blood I asked her if the blood tests from the last pregnancy could cut down on the ones needed in this one (things like blood group) and she was insistant that she needed to take all the tests again. I'm supposed to have them next month and I'm leaning on the side of not having them as I feel so healthy and am not rhesus negative or anything. I do want my scans though, purely coz I'm impatient and would love to see my baby moving around.
Also I havent told her I want an Unassisted Birth...I mentioned a homebirth and just to that she was like "Well, we'll see." so I figure she would be very unsupportive of UC and the last thing I need to hear is scare stories.
So anyone who is having an UP, could you let me know your thoughts, especially why you chose to go down this route. Plus especially interested in hearing from UP parents in England coz I'm not too sure of all the legalities and am worried about that too.
I know in England it's illegal to attend a birth if you aren't a midwife so I wont be letting anyone official know my friend was there the whole time! I'm planning on phoning the midwife a few hours after the birth when I feel ready to have people intrude.
Thanks,
Nicci
xx
 

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I had a wonderful experiencing UPing my 2nd son. It really pushed me to grow a deep relationship with my baby, body and intuition. I did have a mw come to the birth hands off.

I think you need to find the combination of care care you are most comfortable with-don't settle with anyone or any test-follow your gut.
 

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I UPed. It has been a great experience. It's been so much more peaceful with this pregnancy compared to last time. I checked my blood pressure a few times and paid attention to how I've been feeling. I had one ultrasound at 35 weeks because I have to have a hospital birth in Romania and the only way they would feel comfortable was if I had an ultrasound. Otherwise I was to deal with a vaginal exam and possible other tests which I was not willing to do.

So, anyway, I think you should do whatever you feel most comfortable with. I feel perfectly fine UPing and trust that I will know if there is a problem. I haven't had any problems and I am now 38 and a half weeks. I would love to UC but that won't be happening because of the Romanian laws.
 

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It was a pushy first visit with my midwife that led me to UP/UC. I felt the same way about the blood work, honestly my blood type hasn't changed in the last 11 months! I personally didn't want any ultrasounds and she insisted that I would HAVE to have one at 20 weeks. I was polite during the visit, cried my eyes out afterwords, and my husband is the one who said lets just do it at home. I have been at peace with the decision ever since. As far as the legalities for England go I can't help there, sorry...
 

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I am UP'ing, for the most part. I am doing my blood pressure, urinaylsis, glucose, and fetal heart rate w/doppler all at home. BUT....I have a devine Chiropractor that I see 2-3x a week since 2007 for massages and adjustments. He ordered my early bloodwork at 10-13-21DPO for hCg and Progesterone, per my request. He also ordered my 6wk3d u/s, and my Level II Scan at 18w5d, again, per my request. He is wonderful, and since he knows DH and I so well, and knows I had an UC Home/waterbirth with DD, and that I am very active, athletic, healthy and positive minded, he supports our choice. It's a personal choice, but I am at peace with doing the bulk of the work at home, with just DH, DD and I. We will be doing an elective 3D u/s, and probably a 30+ week u/s to check for position, fluid level, and growth. But, no GD testing, no GBS testing, and no other bloodwork.
 

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Is it an NHS midwife or private?

I had an unassisted birth last time but went to NHS midwife for all the checks and scans - then i lied when i actually had the baby, said it was quick, they were suspicous, stressed me out having to deal with them just after having a baby.

This time i'm having an independent midwife so i can have as many or as little antenatal appointments as i want and then choose whether or not to call - without lying.

I think if you told an NHS midwife you wanted an unassisted birth you would just get scare stories and no support at all.

You could have a UP, if you wanted a scan you could have a private one. As you have had one midwife appointment they have a record of you they might hassle you....

You might want to get in touch with Veronika from The Mother magazine, she has lots of UP/UC info.

Vikki
 

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I am UPing this time. I never decided to at first.... it just kinda happened. about 8-10 weeks I became VERY interested in UC all of the sudden. I've always liked UC but figured I'd want a midwife b/c I like the extra attention she is able to give. I have some friens who UC and thought it was neat but didn't think it would be my style. well lo and behold i get pregnant and suddenly the thought of having a midwife became totally unappealing to me. like "no way!". at around 9.5 weeks I started having bleeding and cramping. concerned it was a m/c I called a local midwife to ask about getting a u/s. her medicalized "well if it's a m/c there is nothing i can do, so come in tomorrow at noon and we'll see" attitue did NOT fly with me. It made me realize if this was a m/c I wanted it to be unassisted. no hands and probes inside. what if things were delicate and fixing themselves up there and some mw put her hands up there looking around and messed up the delicate balance?

anyhow... it got me really thinking about how protective I was feeling. So I talked to 2 midwives who would be willing to have me call them if I wanted anything. and one who is ging to do a newborn check for me (only for legal reasons - not b/c I care to have one). somehow i just never got around to finding a mw for prenatals stuff and eventually decided I didn't want one.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by puddleduck View Post
Is it an NHS midwife or private?

I had an unassisted birth last time but went to NHS midwife for all the checks and scans - then i lied when i actually had the baby, said it was quick, they were suspicous, stressed me out having to deal with them just after having a baby.

This time i'm having an independent midwife so i can have as many or as little antenatal appointments as i want and then choose whether or not to call - without lying.

I think if you told an NHS midwife you wanted an unassisted birth you would just get scare stories and no support at all.

You could have a UP, if you wanted a scan you could have a private one. As you have had one midwife appointment they have a record of you they might hassle you....

You might want to get in touch with Veronika from The Mother magazine, she has lots of UP/UC info.

Vikki
Would love an independant midwife but they are so expensive...can barely afford the baby if I'm honest. It was a, erm, surprise baby. I think what I might do is to stop the NHS hassling me and so i can get my scans on the NHS i'll go to my midwife appointments but just refuse things i dont feel comfortable with like blood tests. That way she stays happy (until I phone her saying I gave birth without her, lol) and I dont do anything I dont want to do.
Thanks so much for your helpful comments everybody!!
xx
 

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I UP'd from 22 weeks on with my last pregnancy and had a great experience with it. I used the time to prepare my mind, body and family for the experience. I highly recommend "firing" your midwife and doing it yourself. With my next, I'll just UP from the get go. I trust my body to know when and how to birth my baby.
 
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