I have wanted kids since I WAS a kid - granted I didn't want them that minute, but knew I wanted to be a mom when I grew up. So I babysat and did lots of church nursery, everyone always said I'd be a great mom someday, and I would say in my head "yeah, SOMEday" - (taking care of other people's children I have found to be great birth control!)<br><br>
For me, it was more the when, than the IF. when DH and I got married, I would have been ok with just letting nature take its course, but DH wanted a couple years to ourselves, and I was fine with that. I stopped getting shots (depo provera) a little after our 1 year anniversary, as I knew it would take time to get out of my system beyond that. It took 2 years after the shot ran out to get pregnant.<br><br>
so, the short answer is YES I knew for certain, and NO it didn't take much contemplation. What took a lot of thought was how far we would be willing to go to have biological children. We ended up needing no medical assistance, but I did have some testing done. FWIW I think we might have gone as far as Clomid. I don't know that we would be comfortable going much further than that.
When I was young in school, I didn't know if I wanted to have kids when I grew up. When I met the right person though, then I started to come around. When we decided to have kids, I can't say we were totally ready, we came to the conclusion that we would never be totally ready and that you just have to jump in with both feet. I miscarried my first pregnancy and it really hit me hard. Then I knew we were ready and that it was something I really wanted. I love being a mom. We just had our third son 8 weeks ago. It was by far my best birth and I am loving being a new mom all over again.
Nope, not me. When I was younger I never wanted kids. I softened a bit as I got older. When we got married everyone always said what a great dad DH would be, by the time I was 35 I thought awww what the heck.<br><br>
I cannot believe I waited so long. DS is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me.
There was never a moment for me personally when I wondered whether I'd have kids. My favorite game as a kid was "playing house" & I couldn't wait to have kids, lots of them, when I was a teen. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I had my DD when I was 17. If I'd been in the right relationship I'm pretty sure that I'd have had lots of kids in my 20s. But I wasn't, so I only had 2 before I turned 30 & met my dream boy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> He & I have since had a baby every 2 yrs. lol I've never been happier in my life. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
To sum up, there was no contemplation on my part at all. Zero. I just had my genes yelling "babies! have more babies!!" at me my entire life. lol!
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sellendie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15443446"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">This is probably a strange question, but did you KNOW for absolute certainty that you wanted to have children?</div>
No. I decided after I met the right person.
As a child and early teen I wasn't sure, but by about age 18 or 19 I knew I wanted to have a family someday. I actually started having 'baby fever' in my mid-20s but hadn't met an appropriate partner so didn't have my first until age 31.
Thanks so much for the replies ladies. Sometimes I feel disappointed that I have not been anxious to have children since I was young like so many seem to. The biology factor really kicked in when I first got married a couple years and I was certain that I wanted kids, but now DH and I have begun really discussing it and planning it, and I hate that I am not 100% certain, and I almost feel guilty about that.
I think sometimes it almost takes a "scare" (I hate to call it that) to know for sure. If you found out tomorrow that you were pregnant, how would you feel? ambivalent, excited, or petrified?<br><br>
I am one of those that knew from early on I wanted kids. I have DS now of course, but I thought I might be pregnant *again* when he was a couple months old (totally would have been possible, for some reason my cycles came back pretty quick) and I didn't even want to pick up a test until I was sure how I'd feel about it. Mostly I felt totally freaked out and really hoped it was negative (it was!). Now he is 6 months, and what a difference a few months makes! not that we are actively trying, but we aren't really avoiding either. I would be thrilled if we got pregnant soon, but ok if it took a while.<br><br>
Don't feel guilty! it is ok if you aren't sure about kids; you might not be until it is a done deal, so to speak. keep talking with your DH and it will all come together.
I did not feel strongly about it when I was younger; I would waffle back and forth, fully able to envision my life either way. When DH and I decided to get married, we had a discussion and agreed that we both eventually wanted kids (dealbreaker if we didn't agree on both wanting or not wanting, imo), but not anytime too soon. I got pregnant much sooner than expected and was so freaked out. We were married (just the week before though <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">) but weren't 'ready'.<br>
Honestly, I don't think that we would have ever felt 'ready', had the decision not been made for us.<br>
Having kids has been the best thing in my life. We now have three and I wish that I would have had my first much sooner (I was 28 at the time), for various reasons.<br>
I didn't decide to have kids until age 42!<br><br>
I agonized over the decision for about 7+years and even talked to a therapist about it. I would quiz friends that had kids about their experiences, particularly a couple of friends who seems disinterested in kids as well, until they ended up having their own and drank the proverbial kool aid.<br><br>
I almost felt like deep down inside I didn't want any, and I was trying to convince myself that I should because that's what you are supposed to feel.<br><br>
One friend used the love I had for my beloved cat as an analogy to how many thousand times greater my love would be for a baby.<br><br>
Also, on another note, I end up returning lots of stuff I buy, and my one funny fear was that if I were unhappy with being a mom, I couldn't very well return the baby. I think I also mainly feared the loss of ME and not being able to be "selfish" and do my own thing. You do lose ME time, that's for sure, when you have a baby.<br><br>
I finally decided to just take a HUGE leap of faith as I feared it would be the biggest regret of my life if I didn't have any kids. Also, having lost my father and two grandparents just prior to making the leap, I developed a deeper appreciation for family and having someone to lean on. And because it's now just my mom and one brother, and I have a DH who is almost 20 years older, I felt it important to have a family unit of my own. I didn't like the vision of being all alone as an old woman! There is nothing like family.<br><br>
So, now I have a one year old bouncing baby boy and I wish I had done this much sooner. I now want to have baby #2 and time is not on my side.<br><br>
Incidentally, we had to go through IVF due to my DH's infertility.<br><br>
While I expect there will be many ups and downs as a parent, I am still glad I made the decision.
I know this is an old thread, but still interesting. I have friends going through this right now. We are getting to our late 30s and there is pressure on those that don't have kids, I know they feel it, we talk about it.<br><br>
For me, I NEVER wanted kids when I was younger. I wanted a career. I didn't babysit, never was interested in kids. After I got married, I softened and began to think that I was married to a man that I would want kids with. Then followed jobs and a house and after 5 years of marriage I was ready. And no, I still did not like other people's children. Then I had DS, and he rocked our world. I never knew a love like this. We have two kids and I love being a mommy. I still have a career and sometimes I still just tolerate other people's kids, but I am so glad I had some of my own.
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that"><br><br>
You pretty much described my thoughts on the matter, other than I don't have any LOs yet <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
Always knew I wanted to have kids. I remember as a teen, I made a resolution that if I didn't have a partner to have them with by 25, I'd do it on my own...Never needed it, though. My first son was born when I was 18, then promptly had two more. I'm almost certain I'm not done, but I am done for now.