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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<p>i'm nervous for some reason. worried i'm not prepared. but it will be fine. ex says he is going to be there but he's nervous because he didn't take or sign up for the parenting class that is court ordered. i said that the judge might give him a hard time about it but that ireally didn't know. </p>
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<p>anyway... hugs and positive energy for me? i'm sure it'll go fine i'm just really good at over thinking things.</p>
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<p>thank you lovely mamas!</p>
 

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<p>Good luck. I will pray for you.  Court is no fun....</p>
 

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<p>Is it over? How did it go?</p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
<p>yes thank you! it was fine. it was such a weird experience i hope i never have to do it again. ex was 10 minutes late so when the judge asked if  i still wanted to pursue sole custody i said yes. i wasn't going to just give it to him if he wasn't going to ask for it. but ex did ask and i said that i was fine with joint custody. i asked the judge to clarify what i should do if i am unable to reach ex for an important decision and he said that i should attempt and if i can't do what i think is best as long as whatever it is does not affect ex's parenting time. he said the state is actually passing a law to change the term custody to decision making authority. and he explained to ex that just because he has drastically less parenting time that does not mean we can not have joint descision making.  ex was under the impression that because he only has ds about 10 hours a week he wouldn't be able to have any custody. but the all in all the judge was nice and put in exactly what we wanted. he told ex that he really needs to take the parenting course (i'm sure ex wont) and that because ex didn't file a response he really had no right to ask him to rule anything different from the decree but felt it was best that we collaborate. so basically it says joint legal custody with me as the primary parent. ex has ds friday 3-6pm and saturday 10am-6pm. 1 week vacation a year and alternating holidays. when ex has a home with a sleeping space for ds then he can have him friday 3pm to saturday 3pm.  however if ex cancels more than 1 overnight a month then i can stop overnights until we agree that he will be consistent again. i also asked for two extra stipulations that ds never be around people smoking (ex smokes). and that neither parent use drugs or alchohol during or 8 hours prior to their parenting time. the judge was happy to add those things. he said things like "i have hope that the two parties will be able collaborate and make decision together for the best of the child." "they seem to be off to a good start already which is very heartening". he also let us adjust the child support amount in exchange for my having the tax exemption all years. he also let ex not have the cs payments taken from his check if i was okay with it. i said i was but if he misses one i'm going to make him do it. the judge said in the future we should get together every year and write a new parenting plan together and file it with the court, no hearing necessary. so all in all it was good and even though ex and i are good right now and probably don't need this i know we really could have used it a year ago and who knows about the future. i am just really relieved that we have this filed as a bottom line just in case one of us changes or our relationship turns sour. </p>
 
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