Hello all,<br>
I'm delurking after DS's evaluation today with the school psych and speech & lang pathologist. I need to vent someplace, to someone, and you all win the prize.<br><br>
Of course, until I can get my hands on their reports, I won't really know what "the experts" see in my kid. About 9 months ago, we saw a neuropsych, and he didn't see much at all. I mean, he gave me no sense of urgency in pursuing resources for my son. So I let it go for a while. But the preschool kept urging me to look into services...maybe I should give a little back story.<br><br>
My son is an angelic, soft spoken, gentle little sweetheart. And my absolute faith in his ability to progress at his own pace and eventually catch up has--I fear--exacerbated his delays. I teach elementary school and have attended countless IEPs. I should have seen this coming. But my mama blinders were on, and I feel so guilty for waiting this long to pursue anything. Here are my areas of concern:
<ul><li>fine motor delays (no tripod hold, trouble with buttons, zippers, wrappers on small items)</li>
<li>gross motor delays (he's mostly on target, but has NEVER ridden a bike/trike, and is poor at catching/throwing a ball)</li>
<li>expressive language (doesn't really have reciprocal conversations) Oooh and he invents words. And I play into it. So now we have this secret mama-and-Monkey language. And my DH and the grandparents have to ask me what the invented words mean. Oops.</li>
<li>receptive language (I can't put my finger on it...he just takes forever to form a response so sometimes I wonder if he's processing the questions for a longer time than is typical)</li>
<li>social delays (he's 4 1/2 and has no friends, doesn't like playing with the kids at school, even if we see them at the park, but he WILL, thankfully, play with our 2 year old)</li>
<li>poor focus (ADD?)</li>
<li>some stimming, particularly when tired (side-eyeing things, scanning edges, drumming all the time)</li>
</ul><br>
He has so many wonderful, amazing qualities, and it pains me to list the things that are atypical about my kid. I know they are his gifts. But when I write it out like that, it seems like a laundry list of things that need to be *treated*. And for so long I just wanted to accept him as he is, but the outside world makes me see him in another way.<br><br>
Honestly, I think his preschool's expectations are way too high. I don't think a 4 year old should have homework (worksheets--grrrr) and I think the pressure to hold a pencil is making him hate it more. Today, he cried real tears because I was making him do his homework. He wanted to play potato head (but I know he really just wanted to stim by side-eyeing certain potato-head accessories). It proabably didn't help that I was yelling at him. I told him he could play it when his homework was done. Ultimately, I had to bribe him one m&m for each numeral he was able to write on the page. And that was like pulling teeth. He kept saying "you do it." It was a snapshot of everything I said I would NEVER do to my precious child. And all the while my innocent-bystander 2 year old is sitting there getting ignored. ANOTHER ding for mama.<br><br>
The evaluation itself dragged on for nearly 3 hours. He was hungry and tired and not performing up to par AT ALL. Thank goodness I had a granola bar in my purse; we used that to keep him focused. Then they brought in some fruit snacks <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> to help him stay on target. But at that point, it was a lost cause. I should have just stopped it, but the teacher in me pressed on, knowing that the data would be necessary for a proper evaluation.<br><br>
Oh what a day. I just need to go to bed (both kids are in my bed now...I can't wait to go snuggle). If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I hope to post more after I find out what the heck is going on. And it the meantime I will keep reading here and learning here. Thanks again.
I'm delurking after DS's evaluation today with the school psych and speech & lang pathologist. I need to vent someplace, to someone, and you all win the prize.<br><br>
Of course, until I can get my hands on their reports, I won't really know what "the experts" see in my kid. About 9 months ago, we saw a neuropsych, and he didn't see much at all. I mean, he gave me no sense of urgency in pursuing resources for my son. So I let it go for a while. But the preschool kept urging me to look into services...maybe I should give a little back story.<br><br>
My son is an angelic, soft spoken, gentle little sweetheart. And my absolute faith in his ability to progress at his own pace and eventually catch up has--I fear--exacerbated his delays. I teach elementary school and have attended countless IEPs. I should have seen this coming. But my mama blinders were on, and I feel so guilty for waiting this long to pursue anything. Here are my areas of concern:
<ul><li>fine motor delays (no tripod hold, trouble with buttons, zippers, wrappers on small items)</li>
<li>gross motor delays (he's mostly on target, but has NEVER ridden a bike/trike, and is poor at catching/throwing a ball)</li>
<li>expressive language (doesn't really have reciprocal conversations) Oooh and he invents words. And I play into it. So now we have this secret mama-and-Monkey language. And my DH and the grandparents have to ask me what the invented words mean. Oops.</li>
<li>receptive language (I can't put my finger on it...he just takes forever to form a response so sometimes I wonder if he's processing the questions for a longer time than is typical)</li>
<li>social delays (he's 4 1/2 and has no friends, doesn't like playing with the kids at school, even if we see them at the park, but he WILL, thankfully, play with our 2 year old)</li>
<li>poor focus (ADD?)</li>
<li>some stimming, particularly when tired (side-eyeing things, scanning edges, drumming all the time)</li>
</ul><br>
He has so many wonderful, amazing qualities, and it pains me to list the things that are atypical about my kid. I know they are his gifts. But when I write it out like that, it seems like a laundry list of things that need to be *treated*. And for so long I just wanted to accept him as he is, but the outside world makes me see him in another way.<br><br>
Honestly, I think his preschool's expectations are way too high. I don't think a 4 year old should have homework (worksheets--grrrr) and I think the pressure to hold a pencil is making him hate it more. Today, he cried real tears because I was making him do his homework. He wanted to play potato head (but I know he really just wanted to stim by side-eyeing certain potato-head accessories). It proabably didn't help that I was yelling at him. I told him he could play it when his homework was done. Ultimately, I had to bribe him one m&m for each numeral he was able to write on the page. And that was like pulling teeth. He kept saying "you do it." It was a snapshot of everything I said I would NEVER do to my precious child. And all the while my innocent-bystander 2 year old is sitting there getting ignored. ANOTHER ding for mama.<br><br>
The evaluation itself dragged on for nearly 3 hours. He was hungry and tired and not performing up to par AT ALL. Thank goodness I had a granola bar in my purse; we used that to keep him focused. Then they brought in some fruit snacks <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> to help him stay on target. But at that point, it was a lost cause. I should have just stopped it, but the teacher in me pressed on, knowing that the data would be necessary for a proper evaluation.<br><br>
Oh what a day. I just need to go to bed (both kids are in my bed now...I can't wait to go snuggle). If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I hope to post more after I find out what the heck is going on. And it the meantime I will keep reading here and learning here. Thanks again.
