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I am not sure where to post this at. I looked at all the forums, I posted it in "I'm Pregnant" and I am posting it here too, in hopes that someone can help me get past this.<br><br>
Saturday my mom, my 22 month old daughter, and I were out shopping and getting ready for new baby when we were in a car wreck. The driver of the other car hit my mom's side (she was driving) and shattered her pelvis. My daughter and I went to the emergency room to get checked out but we escaped with bruises.<br><br>
I hypervenelated when the wreck occured and of course that is not good for baby, so in the back of my mind beneath the sea of other stuff I am worried about that keeps floating up.<br><br>
My DH was working out of town but he came home that night and stayed with me until this morning to make sure I was OK. He really had to go back to work, we need the money in order for him to take paternity leave in a few weeks. I am not OK though. I tried not to let on too much last night so that he would go on and leave and not worry about me. He drove me to the hospital to see my mom and a few other places yesterday and I probably cried a half a dozen times. He drove as cautiously as possible but it freaked me out being in the car at all. Small things kept making me think about my mom and all the pain she is in and I would cry again. I know it has only been a few days but I can't get past this and I feel like I am being irrational.<br><br>
I keep thinking about all of the stuff that could have happened to make it worse and all the things I could have gone back in time to do to stop it from happening at all. I saw every reaction on my little girls face during the wreck. I don't know how. I guess I instinctively turned toward the back seat, that would explain why the bruises are only on one side of my hips. Everytime I close my eyes I see the car about to hit us and then I see her. I can't remember hearing a thing or feeling the impact even.<br><br>
I can't stop crying. I am a mess. My sister has dd today I am supposed to be leaving for school in a little while. This is my last week of school. I am a senior education major. I can't miss any days but I don't want to get in the car and I don't want to go. Nothing is wrong with me physically besides being a little sore. I don't know what I can do to get past this. I know I have to, at the least for the sake of my pregnancy.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Sunflower <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> rescue remedy would help you get through the anxiety i think. be sure and talk to your baby and tell him what you were feeling and are feeling now. tell him he's safe.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> It takes time to process stuff. i'm glad your ok.
 

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I agree, tell the baby what happened, and why mommy's upset. Try to reassure baby. What do you think you need to tell baby to let him feel reassured that the world isn't the terrifying place mommy is right now feeling like it is?<br><br>
In the meantime, remember... you're pregnant!<br><br>
I could cry over a falling feather (oh no, some poor birdie lost his feather *SOB*SOB*SOB*) when I was pregnant, much less a car accident and mom being severely injured! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/scared.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="scared"><br><br>
Let baby know that, "Yes, sometimes bad things happen, and we spend time grieving over them. But that isn't all there is to life. There are beautiful birds, and wonderful games, and amusement parks, and..."<br><br>
Remind baby (and yourself!) that while sometimes life can be a little scary, lots of times, life is WONDERFUL, too!! Tell him, and yourself, all the ways in which life is wonderful sometimes. Remind him that, although the accident was scary, you are SO GRATEFUL that you're still alive, your mom (though injured) is still alive, baby's big sister is still alive, etc.<br><br>
Show baby, DD, and yourself how one copes with these kinds of disasters. 1. Allowing yourself to feel the feelings and be honest about them, but 2. not dwelling upon them to the point where they remove you from the good parts of life, and 3. remembering to be grateful as often as you possibly can remember to do so.<br><br>
Never forget that EVERYTHING YOU FEEL is magnified by pregnancy hormones. Right now, your body and mind are trying to get you cleared of some old baggage so that it is easier to cope with a new baby. So let the baggage clear. Go with the flow. Love life, live life, and let life love you.<br><br>
Even the not- so- fun parts.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Amris</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7926282"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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In the meantime, remember... you're pregnant!<br><br>
I could cry over a falling feather (oh no, some poor birdie lost his feather *SOB*SOB*SOB*) when I was pregnant, much less a car accident and mom being severely injured! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/scared.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="scared"></div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> This is true. Prior to the accident I was definately getting to the point in pregnancy where I was easily rattled emotionally. Dh laughs about how before I got pregnant he wasn't sure I could cry but how much it has changed now. The pregnancy hormones are definately not helping the situation.<br><br>
Thank you all for the advice about talking to the baby. I have talked to DD a lot. I talk to the baby all of the time about whats going on I kept begging him to move after the accident, and I think that is the last I have really communicated with him at all. Communicating with the baby could definately be a step in the right direction.<br><br>
As I replied in my other post, I am feeling a little bit better. I ended up not going to school yesterday, I talked to my prof's. I talked to my mom for a long time yesterday and that made me feel better. We didn't talk a lot about the accident but just carrying on a coherent conversation (semi-coherent anyway since she is doped up) made me feel a lot more in my body. If that makes sense. I finally started to really feel like, despite everything, she is most likely going to be OK at this point. I have that to be thankful for. Everyone kept telling me the first day, when I couldn't seem to talk, all I could do is sit there silently or cry, that it could have been worse. I wanted to say "I know it could be worse, I have played out every scenario about how much worse it could have been every five seconds since it happened"<br>
That in addition to what really blew me away, the people who kept asking me "why I was so upset" you'd be surprise how many people asked that ridiculous question. Even the man who stopped immediately after, to help, an off duty EMT, saw the whole hypervenelation attack. Here I am eight months pregnant holding my two year old, I can't breathe, my mom can't move, her car door is bent into her, I started crying, and he asks "why are you upset?" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/duh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="duh"><br><br>
My mom's car is totalled. She still thinks she is going to be out in time for my baby shower, I don't see that happening but I didn't tell her that. My mom is pretty amazing so who knows.
 
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